Could I be wrong???

[Confused729]

When my daughter was 5 years old we were driving home from my sister's house and my daughter said she didn't really like her older couisin who was a 14 year old boy. I asked her why and she said that he always pulls her on top of him. She said he rubs her up against his privates. I was totally shocked and very disturbed. After a couple of days I called my sister to tell her. She did not say anything and told me she would call me right back. Her husband called me back and asked me again what my daughter said. I told him and then my nephew got on the phone and said he was sorry if he did anything to make my daughter feel uncomfortable. I could tell he was crying. I told him not to worry and that it was ok. I really wasn't sure what happened but I love my sister and we are very close so I didn't make a big deal of it. My sister never approached me about it at all. After that I always told my daughter to never be alone with the bigger boys. I would tell her to always stay with her brothers and my neice who is her age. Now my daughter is 7 turning 8. My family and my sisters family rented a house together for vacation. The kids were all in the house. I walked in to my nephew holding onto my daughters arm in one of the bedrooms. She looked like she was tring to get away and when he saw me he got very nervous and said he was showing her something. I was alarmed at how he acted when he saw me. I didn't make a big deal cause I didn't want me daughter to think she did something wrong. I took my daughter into one of the bedrooms and I asked her what happened. She was very nervous and she said she kept telling him she had to go stay with her brothers and I would be mad if I saw her alone with him. She told me that he asked her to thrust her body towards him. His hands were on her waist and he wasmoving her body towards him and rubbing up against her. I actually told my daughter to show me exactly what he did. He wanted her to do it again and she said no. He told her that if she did it again he would never ask her ag ain for the rest of her life... Those were my daughters exact words of what happened. She was very embarrassed but didn't seem confused at all. I was sick to my stomach. This is a 17 year old and my nephew who I love. I wanted to run the hell home. But I stayed the rest of the week and didn't leave my daughters side. As soon as we got home I approached my brother-in-law. I couldn't tell my sister and after the last time I thought it would be best to tell him. I was very shocked and didn't know what to say. He was speachless and said he was going to talk to my sister and my nephew. Well they approached him about it and he is denying it. He said he was playing or something and my daughter misunderstood.  I did get a call from my brother-in-law and I guess he changed his mind once he spoke to his son and his son saying it never happened. My mother knews and she believes it happened but this is tearing us all apart. my sister did call me after a week but she doesn't believe her son did anything. She said she is not calling to apologize for her son but lets just put it past us. Am I going crazy???  I don't think my daughter could make up or misunderstand what she told me happened..

[AnnieBrooke]

I think that I would entirely keep your daughter away from this cousin.  Depending on how much you love him and care about him, and given that his parents are stonewalling, since he is nearly a man now, maybe in your shoes I would be tempted to have a talk with him personally and alone.  I'd approach it (with my 18-year-old nephew, with whom I have a good relationship) like this -- "I think you are acting sexually obsessed with [daughter's name] and I totally expect you never to act on it again.  I love you, but I absolutely will not let you harm my daughter.  More to the point, I want to see you get over this and want you to get some help.  What is going on?"  Then see what he says.  Maybe he is being abused, and feels he can't tell anyone.  Maybe he feels helpless or powerless in some family situation and is acting out.  In any case, he will understand, then, if you are vigilant about your daughter.

[jacobsmom2009]

You are definitely not crazy. I worked for CPS and interviewed tons of children. They do not make stuff up. You need to speak with a Social Worker about this and make sure that he is not going to touch another child. Just imagine what could have happened if you wouldnt have entered the room. Does he have a sister? I would be concerned about her also. Dont just protect your own child, consider other peoples children also.

[Confused729]

Thank you so much for your comment. I haven't told anyone but my mother and she is trying to look at it from both sides. It is nice to hear someone tell me I am not crazy. Thanks again...

[AnnieBrooke]

I don't suppose you are going crazy, and I don't think your daughter misconstrued the situation.  You should keep your daughter away from this kid, even as he gets older.  It is possible that he is just obsessive about your daughter, but if he is not given access to her, who knows what direction it will go.   I'm sorry your sister doesn't believe you, this kid needs help.