Avatar universal

Crying fits day and night for little or no reason. 4 year old

I have a just turned 4 year old with normal development so far.  He has been in a day care for several months with no problems.  Interacts fine, though a bit possessive.  No reports of fits at day care.

Recently he's been over reacting to small things or just crying spontaneously.  the fits go on for some 15 minutes or so.  Then he's usually fine.  
He won't generally talk during them.  He MAY answer with a nod or head shake.  " are you in pain?" (shake)  "Do you want a hug?" (shake) "do you want me to go away?"(nod)

Afterwards he's fine.  He doesn't like to talk about the fits. At best he will say will answer that he doesn't know why he was crying.  Or says something like "i didn't want you to look at me cause i was crying"   Sometimes he just goes and sits on the stairs and doesn't want anyone to see him.  
He's always been a bit shy.

He'll wake up 1 to 2 times a night... just crying uncontrollably and inconsolably .  He won't look at his mom, and doesn't seem to want me in the room.  He also has thrown fits because the dog touched him or because we offered him grape juice instead of orange juice or something.  Mind you.. not telling him he couldn't have what he wanted.  Just offering it.  Sometimes he'll have an answer that doesn't really fit the situation.  "I don't want it" even though no one is offering anymore.  
Came down from a nap today.  Started crying.  Said he didn't want his brother to look at him.  Because he was crying or causing the crying was unclear.

He recently (still sore)  had his tonsils out, which seems to have made the fits more common.  But its not a new thing since the tonsils.

Would say none of his fits have any real reason to them, at least that he understands or will admit to.

Thinking I may take him in to the doctor abut it.  But also thought i'd see if anyone had similar experience.

5 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
535822 tn?1443976780
PS You could also teach him to share his toys when he is at home, is it possible they could make it less hours children need their parents a lot at this age.How old is his brother if he is older is he kind and not causing any upset with him.Perhaps as he had his tonsils out have him checked His throat could be sore.
Helpful - 0
535822 tn?1443976780
Possible that he doesnt get enough stimulation there ,do you know if they play games and read and do other activities with the children?Again, lots of Fun and Games and sports with Dad getting involved and check out the day care do their part.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
he's 4...


he is going to daycare ... longer hours than normal for some work reaons.

he's gotten better.. maybe something was bothering him.

He says he doesn't like going to daycare due to the other kids touching his toys.

Helpful - 0
535822 tn?1443976780
When you say recently this started happening, had there been any stress going on in his life , any new Dramas.How is your interaction with him and is there a Dad around,Have you asked him if he likes Daycare and what he does there, are there enough activitys so he is challenged enough for a 5 year old. Get him running and playing Ball and using up energy, if Dad is there ask him to participate doing guy things.Does he go to Daycare for a lot of hours could they be cut back so you could have more time with him,why does he take a Nap at 5 year old?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You're dealing with anxiety - perhaps social anxiety.  The fact that your son is able to function most of the time at school is very good - he probably just requires a bit more patience and understanding.  The "not speaking" is called "selective mutism" and I'm assuming that these episodes are very short in duration.  All of the other parts of your post indicates anxiety - possessiveness, over-reaction, crying, tantrums, frustrations, social issues, sleeping issues (and probably toileting problems which you did not mention).  I suspect his recent surgery heightened his senses and this has caused an increase in his anxiety issues.  By the way, if anxiety is the issue, your son is not able to control his emotions (so talking, punishing, bribing, etc. will not work) - his anxiety is doing this and your son may need help to learn how to "manage his fears".

I might suggest you google the term "childhood anxiety" or "selective mutism" (although I don't think your child's anxiety is this severe form of social anxiety - but this site "selectivemutism.org" should give valuable information in the "resources"section on how to deal with some of your son's issues) or perhaps other phrases similar to those I used.  The best thing that you can do at this time is to educate yourself on this problem and then to remove as much pressure and stress you can from your son.  By the way, anxiety is a very common problem and your family doctor should be able to give you advice on how best to help your son (or a referral to a medical professional with experience in anxiety disorders).  If anxiety is the issue, I assure you your son will not outgrow this nor will it go away; but the earlier the diagnosis, the better the prognosis.  I wish you the best ...
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Child Behavior Community

Top Children's Health Answerers
189897 tn?1441126518
San Pedro, CA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Is a gluten-free diet right for you?
We answer your top questions about the flu vaccine.
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
Healing home remedies for common ailments