Deaf 4 year old girl gone wild

[MotherOfADeafDiva]

Ok I have a 4 year old who was diagnosed as deaf at age 2. I started teaching her ASL right away as I was learning myself, and at the same time was in line for getting her a Cochlear Implant. She had mixed feelings about it and no matter how persistant I was, she hates it. I have totally given up on her hearing which I am okay with and we just use ASL. She has such bad behavior now, and I was told by her PCP that they cant really say she has a behavior problem because of her age. It is things as little as she asks if she can play the game on the computer & I tell her yes, but wait 1 minute and she screams and starts flailing on the couch until she falls on the floor and starts kicking and screaming. If I put on a show for my 2 year old, she immediately asks me to put on what she wants and I tell her when this is over then we will watch her choice and its the same result. I have tried to sit and explain, I have tried time outs, I have tried spanking, nothing at all works. She isnt even potty trained. She pee's threw her pull ups. I am certain that there is something wrong, and not just she is a little different because she is deaf. She is very possessive. She wears a tiara every day, and has to cuddle with her 2 purses stuffed with her toys, her flip flops, and her tiara to go to sleep. She refuses to move out of the sippy cup stage. Please tell me I am not crazy and help me with some ideas?

[MotherOfADeafDiva]

I have tried everything. her dad and I arent together and she gets 95% of the attention. My 2 year old should actually be the jealous one. My 4 year old is highly possesive and highly jealous. If my 2 yr old sits in my lap, my deaf 4 year old will tell me to move her because she wants to sit there.

[margypops]

I think the punishments are too hard , she sounds jealous of her younger sibling, have you tried putting her video on first,do you let her sibling play with her toys thats sometimes a reason for possessiveness ,she feels left out and sees her sibling  getting most of  the attention .  some one to one time for her  may be good, get Dad involved , she has a challenge with her hearing .In my opinion if you feel what she feels and walk in her shoes you may work it out .better .good luck .