Disrespectful 7 year old daughter

[joanie0422]

I am a single mom of a 7 year old daughter...i had my daughter late in life and look and feel young but reality is what it is...my child makes me exhausted..stressed and defeated... she is very disrespectful toward me...she says on a daily basis she hates me...she is very dramatic when she throws a temper tantrum...she is ruthless when she wants something...when i speak to her quietly and nicely and she doesn't get the answer she wants..she continues to ask ask ask and badger me to the point where i blow up!!!..every morning when getting ready for school..she starts with her nasty attitude...when she continues her disrespect i tell her i will take one of her favorite things away for a day..she continues...its taken for another day and another and another...she continues anyway...her behavior with me is unacceptable and embarrassing in a public situation...she tends to repeat my discipline to her back at me as well...she behaves well with other people/family..but when she gets too comfortable with others..she will start behaving in that same disrespectful way...i have limited her from going places with me as i have no control over what her actions will be...its to the point where i say things i shouldn't say and later regret and cry during my quiet time alone...she has gone to the school with stories and drama...i have moved several times and the situation never changes...i have even traveled with my daughter to different countries where her behavior was overwhelming to other cultures!!!...i can say that i have not carried through with all my threats of times outs and taking things away which now is coming back as a nightmare for not doing so...i need advice badly...and will stick to the advice given for sure..HELP!!!

[althepal39]

It sounds like your daughter has been through alot - you don't mention where her Dad is - is he in the picture?  Just not being together with him may cause a lot of stress to a child. It is also very stressful for kids to have to move - how many times have you moved with her?   Also - seeing you with your boyfriend - or having you leave her to spend weekends with your boyfriend may also be a source of stress for her.. these may be reasons that she disrespects you..

[babygirl6152]

those mottos he has in martial arts- that is your answer- let him work with her and DO NOT INTERFERE- that is, if he is willing to undo what you yourself admit to having mussed.
The mottos my husband has in his dojo all concern, dignity, respect, and morality....

and YOU have to learn to be unemotional when it comes to punishment- do it matter of fact- and go on with life- I was just thinking thru your post how nice it would be if there were a man that could show you how to react with little emotion, yet discipline her with dignity.
btw Mom's can be fun and disciplinarians.

I believe God sent this man to help you

[joanie0422]

Your awesome...thank you for your response...i will definitely take this advice and let you know how it works out...i do get concerned over leaving her home or with others as i visit my boyfriend on weekends as he lives one hour away..i brought her with me this past weekend..and of course was embarrassed by disrespect...my boyfriend is high on respect being a teacher of martial arts..and awesome with kids...evidently my little one thinks mom is no fun...hard to be fun when always in a battle of wits with her...which brings up the issue of guilt for me...anyway..thank you again...
joanie...

[margypops]

Reading your post it is clear that your daughter has control , you need to take it back,you are the adult, the punishments you give are not working ,she knows how and when to press your buttons, I would suggest next time she blows' up you walk away and not feed into it, it seems you are reacting and she realises it, let her throw the temper tantrum , let her stay there till she is quiet, do not take her anywhere with you ,do your shopping when she is at school and if she gets mad at home do not get upset or yell put her in timeout and do it quietly,do not respond .You stae she badgers you till you blow up she cannot do that unless you let her, before it gets to the confrontation point walk away get busy, ignore her,and lf she yells let her,its okay.oce she gets no reaction from you she will stop doing it.

[91004]

My son is 4 yrs old and is starting to act that way I am also a single mother. I am the same way though I will tell him something and he will throw a fit, no matter where we are I have started leaving and just going home or actually sticking with what I say. I think that is the big reason they act that way they know we are not serious or that we won't stick to what we say. I was in the grocery store and my son wanted a Reese I said no he threw it on the floor we were getting ready to leave and I told him to come on I looked to the corner he had opened the Reese I was so embarassed I took his sweets for the day he did apoligize and he hasnt even asked for sweets when we are out since that day. Im sure my comment did'nt help alot but Im a single mom to and I know alot of times its just easier to give in then to stick with it and I have learned my lesson with that