Disturbed sleep of my 3yr old...

[Samreen143]

My 3 yr old has become sort of stubborn. I'm not sure if this is lie that for all kids this age as our elders say all do so. We are concerned that this should not become a habit. We never as such over pamper her...we are strict when needed. But since last 1 mth plus... I am sort of finding it turning difficult. :-(  If she asks for something...at times she'll be sweet keep standing n constatntly saying please...please....and would not listen to me when I say - darling just wait for 2 min...let muma finish up this in hand work and I shall give you...But at times, she's like crying and yelling badly for some object or some other demand of hers. AT times when we cannot fulfill it that very moment we try to give her reason for it but she would cry so loud that our voice gets suppressed.
I have tried all suggested here...ignored her for long....minimally but yes scolded her...been strict but now nothing seems to work...She has such a stamina to cry...My GODD...she'll yell for 10 min...go slow..gather energy and get louder again...then at times she vomits while crying aloud....
We are just concerned about her nature and behaviour to develop and we do not want to go wrong in handling her.

Secondly...since last few months...she's having disturbed sleep...she starts crying suddenly say average thrice a night and at least thrice a week...somettimes for a cake peice...sometimes to ride a big bicycle...and what not and at times it gets difficult to settle her and next morning she's annoyed. I feel she dreams too much and whatever she dreams of..she doesnt realise its a dream. I try to wake her up from dream or ettle her by saying someting like ok yu keep mum I'll  just go n get it...Many a times times she's settled after few minutes but again it gets repeated after an hour or 2. This disturbs her and our night too.

Plz guide me for the above.
Supriya.

[Samreen143]

hanks marg for being there always ... Yes i had tried time out but as I already stated...sorry she says very very fast na also at times after some time.. you had earlier too gudied me to ignore n be patient and your asistance really has helped me many a times to be patient o as I dont feel guilty later but here...she would say sorry...come to me n her papa...that plz dont get angry...talk to me...we didnt scold her many a times...we used to get quiet n move away when she threw tantrums..she felt sorry...but then se forgets the very next day...time out too never worked.... Getting stubborn is one thing..what I am really worried abut is her sleep issues...yelling about what she dreams and her dad says its bcos this has bcom her nature...not to succumb to our NO...thats why she gets so yelly n stubborn even when asleep...I'm worried this might affect her nature or mental devt...or may be there something in her subconscious mind troubling her :-(

she'll be going to formal school april onwards and I dont want her to go to a new place a new atmosphere like this :-( we want her to make good friends...we really dont feel we'll be in a postion to plan another baby so we are very conscious that she shouldnt feel left alone or get overpampered or anything....In India single baby concept is very very rare n the relatives n society really make this decision hard to carry on with....they'd keep putting in her ears that u need to have a sib...and that adds to our concern to make her a good...sharing...and happy kid even without a sib....

Marg..I know u understand..plz guide.

Supriya

[margypops]

Hi Supriya your friend Marg here ...she is pretty normal ,children of this age do try to test out the limits, it actually is the way you deal with it that matters, she is finding also that by behaving in the way you describe she gets more attention from you, it would be better to give her lesswhen she is like this  then you are not rewarding bad behavior, if she is really trying you could use the time out method many parents find works, have a chair or a cushion, in a next room, take her quietly in there and sit her down tell her she stays there until she is quiet and sorry. if she comes off put her back, least words the better .same at night the more you go to her , the more you pay attention the more she will do it ...Children do demand immediacy so when she asks for something and you are busy and she wont wait, ignore the yelling or use the time out method..if you can accomodate her request if she is polite its alwyas the best way I think it avoids confrontations.I know you both love her and like all parents we want them happy and sometimes we try too hard, so she knows if she yells you feel guilty and give way ...we love them though dont we..Dont worry this behavior is all part of the delightful rich part of bringing up Baby ....

[Samreen143]

I would just like to add that she has the word Sorry at the tip of her tongue...I know she realises when she goes wrong...we wont point out but go from there quietly then after few minutes she'll be around the person she annoyed saying sorry...and when she annoys me for not having milk or tonic...or anything even after my pampering try for long...she'll start crying n saying sorry muma...i wont do that again...she'll constantly keep doing this until i say ok i take ur sorry....but then after few hrs she might do the same behaviour.
I might be over concerned about these matters...but since sh'e the first one and we do not plan for another baby, we dont want her to get into a grumbling...cribbing...baby instead a happy...loving girl is what we wish to make her.

Plz guide us.
Supriya