Does you child have a phone? Access to the internet?

[Mama_12345]

Children can access the internet now with no problem. They can easily get access to porn, violent, or gay material. It's brainwash!!!

[specialmom]

Wow!  What a great and timely question!  We do live in the connected era, don't we?  My boys are the age in which phones are all the rage.  But I've noticed, this happens younger and younger.  My boys currently do not have phones.  However, we have a family cell phone that they can take to various things.  It's mine, I tell them.  :>)   I have a cell phone purchased that is going to be the one I let my older son use.  But I'll have parental controls on it.  And I make a big deal about that I pay for data time and that if they use it, I'll know.  Both my kids use google hang outs to connect with friends---  you can text or do video chat.  They do have chrome books and ipads.

I had an adult that is as straight laced as they come tell me that it makes your kid socially awkward for them not to have a cell phone by 9th grade.  I'm not quite there yet with the age of my sons.  But part of me knows that other kids are using their devices to communicate and your kids miss out if they don't.  

One thing that I think is important----  that even if our kids don't have their own phones, the internet world is still in front of them.  Their friends have phones.  They use computers or chrome books or ipads for school.  Heck, our TV's are smart TV's these days.  So, in my opinion, what is most important is to talk to your kids.  Open communication about these things will help guide your child.  Proactively talk about things like porn.  gulp.  Hard to do.  But kids may be curious.  Explain what porn is.  Why you don't like it.  And that while they have devices that you pay for, that you don't allow it.  Ask their opinions on it.  I'm not sure what you mean by -gay- material.  Being gay is not bad in my opinion.  I expect that as kids get older, they've met some gay people in their day and tolerance is something I personally believe in.  But those are my values.  I teach my kids my values.  I would expect that if we have discussed subjects, that when faced with real life situations involving those subjects, they are better equipped to handle it.  Same with violence.  Talk about it.  

That's my two cents.  We can protect just so much so we also need to prepare them.  good luck with your son!

[Mama_12345]

What i meant by gay material is that i dont want him being brainwashed as to that is the cool thing to do or put it on him. If thats what he decides as an adult then fine. I have no problem woth gay ppl personally i just hope that my son doesnt turn out that way based on my beliefs and upbringing. Does that mame any sense? But i love all. I just think we live in an era where kids are growing up too fast, not being able to be kids. Im fairly young and we played outside, we wrote love notes, not sitting in front of a computer screen n being easily accessed to porn and sexy girls or even little girls making videos trying to be grown. Its too much. I am a mother of foir boys and i now have a little girl and a part of me us just sad for her. The internet is being more used for bad than good. I dunno. I'm taking the cell phones away until they reach high school. They can be mad at me. I have to protect them yes and prepare them for even more.

[specialmom]

I understand what you are saying.  fads and the *IN* thing isn't always what is in someone's heart but they feel it's cool to do it.  Girls kissing girls at parties for the boys to watch, that kind of thing.

I think it is a fine idea to take the cell phone away.  Just follow that up with a conversation.  And my friend who has a 13 year old son found that he too had accessed porn recently.  She's very strict, stricter than me.  And really never thought he'd go to those sites.  But he did.  He has no phone anymore.  I always took a slightly different route---  my kids don't have their own phone but I try to discuss things with them so that when faced with that situation, they will make good decisions.  I say this as my older son who is 14 told me that a friend of his showed him porn on his phone.  He said he watched for 10 seconds, realized what it was and said no thanks.  Dilemma for me as his mom is a friend of mine (the friend's mom).  I gently told her to check her son's phone.  But we swear to secrecy how we find things out so that our kids feel comfortable talking to us without repercussions with their peers.  Anyway, that is two instances where I know families with this age kids who have used their device for the wrong thing.  And one illustrates why conversation is important . . . cause you know your son's friends have phones too.  :>)  

It's difficult to navigate these things.  I talk a lot about respect. Respect your body.  Respect other people.  Respect women.  And porn is a direct contradiction to those things.  

We're here to listen as you work through this stuff so let us know how it goes!

[Mama_12345]

My son has his own phone but its now being taken away for good. Ifs the devil. My child is being brainwashed with all this sick material! Porn has now put evil and disgusting taint on my sons no longer innocent mind! Porn should be illegal!! Internet is ruining relationships and innocent children all over the world!!