Emotional 4 year old son. . .

[LibbyF]

My son just turned 4 and he's so so emotional. He literally cries about everything and nothing. His needs are met every day but you make him upset and he sits on the floor with his hands over his eyes just balling out of control. What do I do?

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, crying is one way to express emotion and kids all vary in how sensitive they are.  Your son sounds sensitive.  I understand that you would like him to be age appropriate and if he is crying easily making him different than his peers, you'll want to help him with that.

One thing you can do is address that he is trying to communicate.  So, you can encourage him to use his words.  When crying----  ask him what he is crying about.  I also think that if he then tries to cry while talking to you----  you tell him that you can't understand what he is saying unless he uses his big boy voice and words.  

I made it clear to my boys that I will help them if i can but that they have to use words to communicate with me.  Just crying doesn't tell me what the problem is.  So, stop crying and let's solve the problem.

I also made a rule.  Unless you are REALLY hurt, you are not allowed to cry outside.  Yep, if you start crying----  then you have to go inside to your room and can return when calm.  Not to punish them but to let them know that we don't cry over every little thing when in public.  

My older son has sensory integration disorder and is quite sensitive.  I had to take a tough stance on this to help him be age appropriate and one of the guys.  I noticed that other kids his age were not having crying jags all the time.  So, my son is allowed to cry but not gratuitously.  

I know when my son is hurting (physically and emotionally) and when he is just crying.  Just crying . . . not okay.  Let's solve the problem or spend some time alone getting yourself together.  I comfort with my whole heart when it is real hurting (emotional and physical) but minimize the other.  

This has worked for me with both of my boys.  

I also think that some books on emotions would help him get a better list of ways to describe how he is feeling.  Mad, sad, upset, frustrated, tired, hungry, hurt, etc.  Library had lots of these.  good luck

[margypops]

Well maybe understand why he is crying and what he is sad about, has he enough to do, does he play outside , ball games with Dad or you .Has he had a new sibling recently as that can cause angst in small children . When he does sit on the floor and cry, make no mention of it igore it., maybe he is getting  attention from that , distraction also works .walk in his shoes .Does he do this at daycare or school?