Emotional Problems regarding visitation

[machomak]

I have a 2 1/2 year old that is having a lot of problems, since her visitations with her father have become unsupervised.  Three days after visitations started she started masterbating, one month later I started having problems with her at day care with aggressive behavior, she sometime hits her head against the walls, and she is having problems sleeping.  I have tried to work with her father, but he fuses to see that there is a problem.  He has tried to hit me in front of my daugther and yells at me in front of her.  He tells her she must call his new wife mother and she cries to me asking me again and again if I am her mother.  Since she doesn't want to leave me and go with him, I recently put a picture of me in her back pocket, telling her if she needed me at anytime she could just take it out and look at it.  Well, after returning home after her visit she was crying and telling me that Daddy broke mama.  I didn't understand at first, but after finding the picture in her back pocket in several pieces, I understood what she was trying to tell me.  These visitations are ordered by the court so I have no say so as to when he see her or how often.  I have seen a counselor that has said it would be better at this time for the visitations to go back to supervised, but the courts feel that he has a right as a parent to see her unsupervised.  I agree that he should be able to see his daughter, but at what price.  If anyone has any suggestions on how I should be handling this problem.  Please HELP!

[CSkill]

I agree with the last 2 comments. I would do everything in your power to arrange for supervised visits to resume. Each of the behaviors you are describing could be considered warning signs of certain types of abuse. If this is truely steming from her father's caretaking, I would intervene at once.

[lmroswell]

I would do everything in my power and beyond to make sure that visitations are supervised.  It sounds as though your little girl is suffering and not happy and it is stemming from contact with her father.  At this age, she should be nothing but happy and enjoying her childhood.  I would not take my time with this issue.  It sounds a bit urgent.  Your daughter should not be so unhappy.  Good luck to you.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It would be prudent to do two things. First, either by yourself (ask the Clerk's office for help) or through your attorney, request that a guardian ad litem be appointed for the purpose of evaluating the situation and issuing recommendations to the court. Second, arrange some outpatient mental health evaluation and review the situation with the clinician.