Excessively crying 4 year old

[mayer72]

My four year old daughter cries all the time.  The crying is triggered whenever she doesn't get her way, or when we even ask simple requests of her.  She answers in a whiny tone and it escalates until she completely has a crying meltdown.  Today alone she's cried 14 separate occasions.  We are at our wits end.  We've tried time outs, spankings, re-directions, incentive charts, praise and rewards and nothing seems to stop the complete meltdowns she's having.  I am have a Master's Degree in early childhood education, and am around kids all of the time, but never one this emotional.  She shows signs of ADD, but again is only four, so I don't want to label her all too soon.  She is developing normally academically and physically, however is very tall for her age.  I am at home with her for the summer and want to try and help her take control of what she's feeling, but don't even know where to begin to start with her.  Any suggestions?  

[mammo]

I would send her to her room and tell her when she stops crying she can come out.  Then discuss why she was so upset and always end with a big hug and an "I love you,"
It may be that somehwre along the way she has learned that crying will get her attention, be it good or bad.  When she gets no attention, or what she wants by crying, she will learn that more is accomplished by not crying.  For example if she is crying because she wants a peice of candy, tell her so long as she is crying she doesn't get any candy.  Then when she stops let her have the piece of candy.  Of course make it appropriate to what she wants.  If she is wanting candy before dinner tell her that she can have candy after dinner and if she doesn't cry for it.  If she cries, never giver her what she wants and just explain what the agreement was.  Take care..

[jdtm]

There is an excellent book titled "the highly sensitive child" by Elaine N. Aron.  I wonder if your child is overly sensitive and thus "cries" at personal slights - whether real or perceived.  If you google the title of this book, you should be able to find out more information re this topic.  Just a suggestion ....

[SeriousSam]

ADD is rare in girls.  Ignore her when she throws fits, or act like you (really)can't understand her when she cries.  Don't punish her for crying but don't let her get attention that  is not inconvenient for her.  Not good or bad but awkward and inconvenient.  All with a straight and honest face.

[margypops]

That sounds like a good idea from isabell  it may also be a good thing if you were to lessen the spankings, and punishments and focus on her positive side ..Praise her when you see her doing something right ...

[isabelleluis1]

sounds like my 3 year old girl i recomnedgivingher positive reinforcements like if she dosnt cry for a day she gets to go somewere and the prize can get bigger depending on how much she has not cried