Fear of Amusement Rides

[merphal]

I have a son, 10 yrs old, who is afraid of riding certain amusement rides and park rides (ex. Disney World). It is not only roller coasters he's afraid of. We went to last year to Disney's Epcot, and went into Honey I Shrunk the kids, 3D movie a few seconds into the movie he paniced and he and I had to leave. This year however, we went to Islands of adventure and he rode the Siperman 3D ride and seemed to like it. He was terrified in the Jaws ride and would not ride King Kong.
    I myself am afraid to ride certain things, but I have not expressed my fears to him. His father and I are divorced and his father insists that I make him ride the rides(Of course, he loves them. I disagree, I am afraid however that his father will worsen the situation by making him ride the rides anyways. Can this traumatize my son? and if so where can I get literature on the subject so that I can buy it for his father?
THank you in advance,        

[futureboy107]

A related discussion, What am I going to do at a theme park? was started.

[MadCat]

I don't like amusement parks at all. Being a slight Mechanical Engineer (Well, not really, just been doing that stuff since I was a kid) I have seen how amusement park rides work today. No matter how they are built, called safe or even have a 5% chance of breakdown it is still a risk.

Roller Coasters are an example of poorly built machines. They are not only built to destroy certain parts of the body but can cause some psychological issues too. The rides that go around in a circle really fast are also not safe.

People may not die on that day but it is known that people often go home feeling sick and collapse into a coma due to amount of damage these do to the brain. It's not the ultimate but 10 minutes exposure in a 30 minute is about 10 times more then using a computer for 40 hours non stop with no sleep. We all know that can be fatal, cause a coma that will often kill the person in the next few hours. I would say amusement parks are evil :) Well the rides are, at least. Don't let your ex control him to go on rides because I know where he is coming from.

It's not "Manly" to go on rides. Let your kid choose for himself and don't let someone else force him to. You're lucky he has developed this now because it means he is simply a little smater then your average kid.

[Kif]

In kid-land there are two kinds of fears: grounded ones and imaginary ones. Grounded fears are like a fear of snake-bites, earthquakes, lightning, and stuff that can actually pose a threat in real life. Imaginary ones are like being sucked down the toilet when it flushes or falling into cracks in the sidewalk, or monsters in the closet and under the bed.

Your son, in my opinion, has a grounded fear. Amusement park rides can break down. They are subject to collapse or the safety belts might slip or the whole car could derail... it's not like he doesn't want to go apple picking for fear of mutant apples... he's just a cautious boy, I figure. No sweat - it'll likely serve him well later in life.

So this becomes a question of WHY is it important to your ex that he ride the rides? It seems to me that simply going somewhere without rides at all circumvents an entirely useless fight. I don't think your ex is really thinking about his son - he's worried about values of masculinity and bravery that are moot to a kid - so the only way they "count" is in how they reflect on him. I'd probably sit down to talk with him about how important this is to him and why, and if he is insistent, what is to be done about visitation once your child starts to refuse to go with him because it's all about how he won't go on rides and how much fun is that? I mean, is this really what he wants to risk? for what? bragging rights? winning an argument with a 10yo? Is this really how he wants to spend his time with his son? fighting?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Your son's fears and wishes should be respected. Forcing a child in such a situation breeds, actually invites, lack of respect for the parent because the action reflects such a lack of empathy or sensitivity. I can't guide you to a specific piece of literature in this regard, but if your son's father's instincts are so poor in this regard it it unlikely he will benfit from reading. Since you're aware of the situation, you can quietly and respectfully mention it to his dad, but really you shouldn't be injecting yourself very much into this. Remember to focus mostly on what occurs in your household; your opinion is likely not to weight too heavily on your son's father.