is this normal behavior?

[lotsoboys]

My 10 year old son, has been for a few years had a need to constantly rub his fingers together.  It started as nail bitting which got really bad and he was bitting all the way down to the tips of his fingers, I did everything from putting tabasco sause on his fingers to bandaids to showing him pictures of deformities and told him that's what happens when you bite your fingernails and fingers (they get infected and you end up looking like this)  he didn't stop but did slow down a bit.  He says he does it because he's bored.  Now he bites only when he's doing something quite like listening to someone speak (like a teacher) or watching TV but recently he has been playing with his fingers non stop, touching and tapping his thumb with his middle finger.  He is a very smart, outgoing, athletic child.  He's head of his class and even though he just graduated from 5th grade he is doing 7th grade math.  Straight A student was one in 50 to be accepted to the talented and gifted program for middle school.  Plays soccer and excels at being goalie.  Plays the piano and is very social and has tons of friends.  I can't understand this behavior! please help!

[margypops]

maybe that's why worry beads exist and those squeezy balls for executives ..hahha

[Sandman2]

      Finding your own "chillin" stone is fun.  If you have a bay close by where the rocks have be tumbled for eons, a small smooth one should be easy to find.  Sometimes you can even find one with a depression for the thumb!  Best wishes!

[lotsoboys]

thanks so much for all your comments... I've discussed this with his doctor and after alot of research, I agree the best thing to do for now is to back off... I gently remind him to not put his fingers in his mouth when I see him do it, but I'm stepping back and paying more attention to when he does it.  I don't think he's overworked, In fact now that they are off school and soccer is done.  my kids pretty much make up their own schedule, I hope he outgrows it, but I will try getting him something he can keep in his pocket I LOVE the idea of the worry stone... maybe we'll call it the "chillin' " stone!

thanks again

[margypops]

I used to have a hair clip I opened and shut...I did this all the time ..I wasn't anxious at least I don't remember being, I also wound a curly lock of hair round my fingers when I was concentrating ,was a few years back before labelling became a'La Mode .

[Sandman2]

       Some times finding something else to touch will help.  My friend has a very well worn "worry" stone which he keeps in his pocket.  Its just a bit bigger than his thumb.  I have seen kids with small, spongy balls that they can squeeze when worried or anxious.  

[margypops]

By making so much of it it is becoming more of an issue try backing off , in your efforts to stop it you may inadvertently be making it worse .,its a habit, many have it ..but over reacting to it will make him feel worse .

[jdtm]

What you are seeing are nervous and stressed and/or anxious behaviours.  Let's see - he's top in his class (gifted and talented programs), plays well at soccer, practises and plays the piano and is very social.  No wonder he says he is "bored" (which never means "bored" in kid language - I suspect "bored" means "exhausted and stressed" in your son's language).  Poor kid - probably needs a break.   Anyway, just an opinion from what you wrote ...