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Avatar universal

Has anyone used a coach to regulate and maintain their child's behaviour at school?

Your child is showing behaviour patterns characteristic of :Oppositional Disruption such as:
> difficulty in the classroom and with peer relationships ,disobedient, hostile behaviour towards authority, inability to take responsibility for mistake, Placing blame on other ,argue with adults and becomes easily annoyed by others
and leading to state of anger and resentment
         OR
Conduct Disorder such as  frequently violate the right of others, aggression to persons or animals, destruction of property, multiple violation of rules such as truancy from school and distinct difficulties in school life as well as in peer relationships

what sort of methods do you use, and was it beneficial?
12 Responses
973741 tn?1342346373
I would work with a therapist if this were my child as well as do some training myself in order to be my child's advocate and helper.  good luck
189897 tn?1441130118
COMMUNITY LEADER
Age of childi is very important.  Also did this just start this year?  Does it also goon at home?
Avatar universal
What if you tried therapist, but it was not successful. Would you try a holistic approach with Cognitive behaviour therapy, through coaching of positive reinforcement and guidance, but most of all getting the children involve in with patient and love. Parents are great advocate for their children, but some time an external influence works wonders, not the clinical, the humanistic type.
973741 tn?1342346373
I'm a believer in helping parents parent these kids.  I think that through a therapist, addressing the diagnosed issue with a child in specific ways, and parent training in dealing with a child with these issues is the best approach personally.  I don't think we can 'hire' someone to fix our kids.  We have to work with them each day ourselves to do it if that makes sense.  I also would wonder about training of a 'coach' and why they would feel qualified to undertake that role.  ????  I wouldn't really spend money on that based on someone just believing they can help without any formal training.  I would find other avenues to help my child and become their coach myself.  

Avatar universal
age: mid teen on going since 11. It is situational at school only.
Therapist, inclusion, detention all used for talking out what may cause the behaviour and deterrent, but have not been successful. Would you then use a behaviour coach?
Avatar universal
Points well made, but I don't believe that coach are there to fix problems they are they give extra support to help maintain and reduce the issues. Would you try the coach if they have a psychology back in the understanding of behaviour issues, and experience working within the school of children who have these issues. what other avenue would you try? And you becoming a coach sufficient for a parent to help their child, especially if the behaviour is happening at home as well as home/
973741 tn?1342346373
You hear occasional advertisements for this type of thing.  What type of formal training does this coach have?  What do they base their success on?  

No coach would have the motivation or passion that I have to help my kid.  Nor do they spend the type of time with a child that parents do so parents are the front line of helping a child in my opinion.  Training for them is more worthwhile than a coach.  Coaches don't go to school with kids either.  
189897 tn?1441130118
COMMUNITY LEADER
    It would be good to identify the triggers, so the appropriate action could then be taken.  If it is only happening only
at school, then one would think the trigger is school related.   Something like ADHD or ADD  ( has a lot of the symptoms).  The school environment  -  be it the teachers or the kids.  Have you looked at the symptoms of ADHD?
973741 tn?1342346373
I do want to say that I really feel for parents in this position.  It has to be really hard.  I'm not there yet with younger kids but know the pain of trying to help your child through their struggles.  The things teens encounter nowadays are flat out scary.

The issue I have is with those who want to profit from other's issues.  In theory, I'd take any help someone had to give me for my kid if they needed help.  But, the promises of a coaching program by someone who isn't qualified would be preying on the vulnerable in my opinion.  Now, some behavior coaches are well trained and are actually psychologists and social workers.  However, they work a good deal in a team setting of parents and teachers.  They aren't just assigned a child and that's that.  At least in my experience and research.  

The idea of finding what makes a teen/child self motivated is intriguing to me.  Find the answer to that and you'll be a millionaire.  my kids are semi driven at this point in some ways which amazes me but from totally different places.  My oldest child wants to prove to the world that he is smart and good at things.  He's had a taste of success and likes it and fights tooth and nail to make it happen.  My younger son has a different life in which things come more naturally to him but he's the 'do the right thing' guy.  He's a worker bee and likes to be busy and get things done.  It's kind of just in him.  It took me personally a very long time to become driven and self motivated.  But wow, we all want that for our kids.  

What about mentoring?  This might be something that would be beneficial.  I wish schools did more of this.  Linking up kids to help one another,  

I contend that a lot of kids with severe ODD spent years just wanting to be like everyone else.  When it didn't just happen, they got angry and took a totally different approach to things.  Then it is ingrained and is a pattern.  And it derails their whole life.  I wish that the pattern could be broken.

Anyway, it's hard.  

Agree that odd/add/adhd aren't usually situational though happening just at school.  
189897 tn?1441130118
COMMUNITY LEADER
   Agree about ADHD normally being noticed at home, but I have had parents who had no clue.  Just thought the child was being bad and lazy.  ADD is much more difficult to notice at home.  And, in my opinion even more difficult with girls.
Avatar universal
Thanks for you input thus far, you have given much to think about.
189897 tn?1441130118
COMMUNITY LEADER
   Just wanted to add that basically I agree with Specialmom about "coaches".  To change behavior, you have to practice it.  And the parents are really (except a good teacher in an all day school setting) the only ones that can give constant reinforcement and practice.  This is very true for the elementary and probably middle aged school kids.   Somewhere during the high school years, the child has reached enough maturity and self control that coaching is much more effective.   Many high schools use group sessions to do just this.
   The only problem (hence my questions about things like ADD), is that if there is a medical reason for the childs problems, it will take more then just "coaching" to correct things in many cases.   In something like ADHD, it is very important that the child knows and understands what ADHD is and strategies for dealing with it.  And, medication, might also be necessary (at least till out of school) to deal with the situation.
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189897 tn?1441130118
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