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Help!! my son as inappropriate touched girls since he was 7. How do i stop this cycle??
My son is 9 years of age and is displaying very inappropriate sexual behaviour.
From as far back as i can remember my son as never been a good sleeper at the age of 6 it was really bad and he use to get up at all hours of the night, go down stairs and turn on the TV. I would catch him but other times i didn't hear him and remained asleep while he did this. At that point i feel he viewed something on TV that he shouldn't have done, something sexual. The first incident aged 7 happend at school he inappropriately touched a girl in his class on her private parts. The teacher did not know about any of this, my son told me when i went to pick him up. He seemed very upset then about what he had done and he did know he was going to be in trouble. I asked him why he had done it and he said he didn't know he just wanted to so he did. I calmly told him of the consequences of his behaviour and he was grounded for a week and he lost his privlidges. We also did a good touches and bad touches program at school and at home with him and it left everyone satisfied he wouldn't do anything like that again. At 8 i found him playing with his younger sister in her room and he admitted he had touched her on her private parts. I got my mother and his dad to talk to him. Again his reason was he wanted to do it so he did. After that i do not permit him to play alone with any girl and he is always supervised when playing with girls.
Aged 8 1/2 he touched another girl in his class he was told off by his teacher, lost everything for a week again and lost his privlidges at school too. Three months after that he did it to 3 different girls in his class while he was under the table during a lesson he said he wanted to see what their faces looked like. At around this time he was diagnosed with Autism. I feel what ever i say or do doesn't have any affect. My son as no friends at school or at home and because of this behaviour my son is isolated for fear of him doing it again.
From as far back as i can remember my son as never been a good sleeper at the age of 6 it was really bad and he use to get up at all hours of the night, go down stairs and turn on the TV. I would catch him but other times i didn't hear him and remained asleep while he did this. At that point i feel he viewed something on TV that he shouldn't have done, something sexual. The first incident aged 7 happend at school he inappropriately touched a girl in his class on her private parts. The teacher did not know about any of this, my son told me when i went to pick him up. He seemed very upset then about what he had done and he did know he was going to be in trouble. I asked him why he had done it and he said he didn't know he just wanted to so he did. I calmly told him of the consequences of his behaviour and he was grounded for a week and he lost his privlidges. We also did a good touches and bad touches program at school and at home with him and it left everyone satisfied he wouldn't do anything like that again. At 8 i found him playing with his younger sister in her room and he admitted he had touched her on her private parts. I got my mother and his dad to talk to him. Again his reason was he wanted to do it so he did. After that i do not permit him to play alone with any girl and he is always supervised when playing with girls.
Aged 8 1/2 he touched another girl in his class he was told off by his teacher, lost everything for a week again and lost his privlidges at school too. Three months after that he did it to 3 different girls in his class while he was under the table during a lesson he said he wanted to see what their faces looked like. At around this time he was diagnosed with Autism. I feel what ever i say or do doesn't have any affect. My son as no friends at school or at home and because of this behaviour my son is isolated for fear of him doing it again.
I feel for the autistic kids but what if like me it was your 5 year old daughter that had been touched by a 14 year old autistic boy, my first thought was I wanted to kill him, why was he left alone with my daughter, the boy's mother is a friend and had left the room to make a cup of coffee. I'm so angry but don't want to get police involved because he probably doesn't understand what he's done wrong
COMMUNITY LEADER
I am not sure what aikidokan messaged you, but your son needs therapy to comprehend what is going on with him. And you need to do this before he is 18 I would think. At least part of what he is doing is kind of typical autism spectrum things and should have been dealt with all along. Has he had any therapy?
And by the way, at this point, I would not worry about him being labled. There is patient confidentiality which prohibits release of information. And I would certainly try and deal with anyone else besides CPS. Have you talked to the psychologists at your school district. They should have or know of other resources?
And by the way, at this point, I would not worry about him being labled. There is patient confidentiality which prohibits release of information. And I would certainly try and deal with anyone else besides CPS. Have you talked to the psychologists at your school district. They should have or know of other resources?
Good comment .. Thanks.... I think I have tried just about everything.. I hadn't though of this exactly though... I was pretty much told that unless I wanted to have my son labled there wasn't anything available. Maybe going directly to this type of therapist would help..
Hi, I completely understand what you are going through. I have been dealing with these same issues since my son was about 5. He is now 17 He was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD in kindergarten.. His odd behaviors actually started in Preschool.. He was obsessed with smelling people and not always in appropriate places..He also had this wierd fettish with smelling dirty clothes..
My son was also Molested by another child at school when he was 10. He went to counseling and seemed to be ok but after a couple of years when he was about 12 the sexual inerest and impulsiveness came right back worse than before.. I tried to get him back into counseling but was told repeatedly that because of his diagnosis the counseling center could not help..
At age 17 it is much more complicated in some ways.. They hear and see things in school, radio and tv and they do not really comprehend the consequences of certain actions. He doesn't seem to understand or comprehend what he is doing that is innapropriate. He is also never alone with his younger sister or other younger children... I have tried to get him into some type of counseling but have been unsuccessful..
From what I have been able to determine there are no programs available to help prevent a child from becoming a teenage or adult child molester... Especially, with our children who have a cognitive disablility. I was told by CPS when I asked them for help that I am responsible for making sure my son doesn't harm another child.. What happens to these children when they become adults and God forbid something happens to us and we aren't here to control the situations they are in anymore.. I'd like to know why there Isn't some type of program available now to prevent something from happening in the future..
My son was also Molested by another child at school when he was 10. He went to counseling and seemed to be ok but after a couple of years when he was about 12 the sexual inerest and impulsiveness came right back worse than before.. I tried to get him back into counseling but was told repeatedly that because of his diagnosis the counseling center could not help..
At age 17 it is much more complicated in some ways.. They hear and see things in school, radio and tv and they do not really comprehend the consequences of certain actions. He doesn't seem to understand or comprehend what he is doing that is innapropriate. He is also never alone with his younger sister or other younger children... I have tried to get him into some type of counseling but have been unsuccessful..
From what I have been able to determine there are no programs available to help prevent a child from becoming a teenage or adult child molester... Especially, with our children who have a cognitive disablility. I was told by CPS when I asked them for help that I am responsible for making sure my son doesn't harm another child.. What happens to these children when they become adults and God forbid something happens to us and we aren't here to control the situations they are in anymore.. I'd like to know why there Isn't some type of program available now to prevent something from happening in the future..
hello i understand every thing u r going through because my 6 year old son is doing the same he has not been diegnoised yet but we are working with his school. He has the same sleep problem as your son and also hurts himself and gets fruststrated if he dont understand what your telling him is wrong, there is no emotion with him. He has been touching little girls in his school and friends at home and me and my husband is so worried that he will do it too his baby sister that we cant leave him in a room with her on her own. I live in the uk in Wales and i hope too find somewhere that can help us help him
This must be incredibly hard to go through. My newphew is autistic (4.5years old) and also displays inappropriate behaviours (touching himself in public). My sister is also worried about future inappropriateness with the younger brother. The one thing though that makes the world of difference, is that you as a mother are incredibly involved and are taking the time and effort to resolve this problem. I am sure that a therapist is the best route to go. They have experience in this and will offer you advice and solutions to prevent anything serious from happening in the future. I wish you all the best.
Thank you for your advice. I have contacted my local social services so they can put me in contact with the right therapist.
Life will hopfully improve for my son and our family. x
Life will hopfully improve for my son and our family. x
I work with autistic children in a hospital setting. Autistic children and adolescents frequently display inappropriate sexualized behavior. We all have sexual urges and curiosities, especially growing up, but we have the social skills to recognize when they are or are not appropriate.
Children with autism do not have this ability.
If I were you, I would consult with a therapist who specializes in child sexual offenders and talk about what you can do to curb these behaviors. I know "sexual offenders" sounds extreme and awful, but it's clinically the area of expertise where your son will get the help he needs.
Children with autism do not have this ability.
If I were you, I would consult with a therapist who specializes in child sexual offenders and talk about what you can do to curb these behaviors. I know "sexual offenders" sounds extreme and awful, but it's clinically the area of expertise where your son will get the help he needs.
It does not sound like your child has any idea that what he is doing is wrong or why. It sounds like he cannot comprehend. You say your child was diagnosed with Autism, so is it possible to use picture to get your point across. They say autistic people learn in pictures. There has got to be a way to get thru to him or this is eventually going to cause major problems for not only him and the girl but both families as well. I have heard of 8 year olds being suspended for similar behavior. Unfortunately the law does not take into consideration any disorders associated with the person doing the touching. My heart goes out to you but you must take measures to make him understand. Possibly a therapist or someone who works with special needs children could give you some pointers? This has to be very upsetting to you as a parent but there must be help somewhere? Good luck and keep us posted k?
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