Hyper 3 Year Old

[Vanessals53]

My 3.5 year old dgtr is a great kid with boundless energy.  She is always skipping, hopping, running.  This results in times in her hurting herself because of some clumsiness and impulsiveness (she is like a little stunt woman).  When we take her to restaurants she is always the one to spill a glass of water on herself, load her mouth with too much food ( resulting in gagging) or want to switch chairs.  In other words she can't keep still.  My husband worries that she will have trouble when she enters pre-K in the fall and  that perhaps she has some hyperactivity problems, he is worried too that she will hurt herslf because of her impulsiness.  I feel that she is a normal, excitable toddler/pre-schooler.  She can sit still to watch TV, do a puzzle. read a book, paint and play quieter activities.  That is why I feel that it is not a hyperactivity problem.  According to my parents, I was very similar in personality.  Any input would be helpful.  I am getting so stressed out about this, between the division this has caused with my husband and my worries about my daughter.  Please tell me if this is normal.

[specialmom]

Hi.  Well, it is hard to say and time will tell.  Super energetic kids are . . . super energetic.  I've got two myself!  My goal every single day---------  provide ample opportunity to get that energy out.  If I can have them at a park for 4 hours running nonstop--------  awesome.  I've done my job.

My boys are now 5 and 6.  They both are on the "high" end of the energy scale.  My older son, however, has sensory integration disorder.  It can look "hyper" at times . . . but it is actually his nervous system in overdrive.  It is not all of  the time as it is due to sensory issues.  Anywhere that he is excited, it can escalate.  The first thing his preschool told me that they noticed when he was almost 3 and there for one half day a week was that he tripped a lot.  Clumsy is a sign of sensory as well.  Handling things too roughly is a sign of sensory.  Touching everything, coloring so hard you break the crayon, bumping into objects, people, walls . . . can be sensory.  Playing with lots of "intensity", crashing, spinning, jumping off of things, climbing up things . . . and then jumping off are all things my son does a lot.  He is trying to get "input" into his nervous system.  

My younger son does not have sensory and is highly energetic and might appear hyper at times.  But not at school.  That is the difference.  He can tone it down when he needs to and has always been able to do so.  Yes, he can get wound up like a top . . . but functions well in a school environment.

Next year will be very telling.  You may find that your daughter is like my firstborn and that there is more to it/ it has a root cause.  Or she may be more like my younger son, just a bundle of energy that needs lots of outlets for it.  

Until then, I'd do what you can to get the energy "out".  Go go go.  Summer is upon us, take her swimming, to the park, anywhere where she gets a good workout, play a lot and play hard.  Before you take her to a restaurant, run her around the back yard several times.  Think ahead and take activities for her to do at the restaurant table.  Give her movement breaks if you want her to sit.  That is good she sits and does a puzzle or will listen to a story.  That is age appropriate.  TV is not an indicator as kids with adhd will do the exact same thing--------- zone out to the tv.  

I'd love to help in any way I can, so if you think I can in anyway, please ask.  Good luck

[Vanessals53]

I should also mention, that many of her friends are at least 9 months older than her and "calmer" so to speak.  My husband always compares her to them.  I feel it is impossible to make a comparison since they are firstly older and secondly, they have all been in pre-school since age 2.  We also have an 8 month old.  My eldest is very gentle with her and loving.

[RockRose]

We're all on a continuum - some people are more active,  some less active.

It's not like hyperactivity is a litmus test thing - it's not really you are,  or you aren't.

It's more like are you so excessively active compared to the norm that it causes problems and lack of success in school or other areas.

She definitely sounds like she is on the side of "more active",  but the fact that she will in fact sit in chairs in a restaurant - even if she has to switch around is a good thing.  There are many children her age (mostly boys) who can't sit at a restaurant the length of time it takes the family to eat.

Interesting in your marriage - it's almost always the dads who deny their children have a diagnosable problem, and the moms who say there is one,  if the child is a concern.

Best wishes.