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Avatar universal

I'm very frustrated!

I have a 1 year old who simply won't listen to me! He will do ANYTHING to keep from obeying me. He will play and cry and fight as if it's the afternoon. He is my first and ONLY child and I have little help. Save me!  
3 Responses
Avatar universal
Hi there, so sorry to hear you are so frustrated.  It Sounds like you are at your wit's end, and I know how it is, there isn't a mommy out there who hasn't felt that way too...

Parenting is freaking HARD, and none of us understand it til we get there.

On top of it, kids change SO fast. You were just getting the hang of the newborn thing and then they start crawling...  and you have a whole new set of challenges and problems to deal with. It's a constantly moving target.

The good news is, when kids are young like this, often all it takes is the parent making some simple changes in how they are interacting and the child's behavior will change dramatically as well.

But the first step is to give yourself a break and have some compassion for how overwhelming the task of parenting is even under the best of situations, and the constant, never ending demands are even more difficult when you don't have much support.

I have a lot more I would like to say to help you but I don't have the time right now. I will try to check back later and in the meantime maybe you will find this video I made a couple years ago helpful.

https://youtu.be/WCC_RvhvntQ

(Sorry the background music is a little loud!)
189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
And you think you are frustrated?  Think how he must feel?   He has wants and needs and he cannot communicate them.  Also, it is very possible he does not understand what you are asking him to do.   He is only 1.  Each day he will get better, but you also need to show him ways to get better.
   I don't know if you can afford the videos, but Baby Signing time really does work.  The kids love them and it teaches them how to communicate without words.  Try one and see if it works for you.  a source is here -  http://store.signingtime.com/baby-signing-time
   Keep your directions very short and always make eye contact.  Realize you will have to show him how to do things over and over again till he gets it.  But, he will if you are consistent.
   Distraction works very well if he is upset, or if he is doing something you don't want him to do.  
    Make sure he keeps to a sleep and eat schedule as much as possible.  
     The weather is now pretty good.  Get him outside.  Put him in the stroller and take long walks.  It will be very good for you and he won't mind.
     When you say NO, follow up by removing from him what you don't want him to do.  Or removing him from the area.  Be very consistent.  It could take several weeks, but he will figure out that when you say No, if he does not stop - he will not get that chance.
     But also - and this is why getting outside is so important - at this age enjoy him.  Every thing he does will be new and different to him.  Try and enjoy it with him.   Give him lots of things to explore and play with.   Like get a bunch of small cardboard boxes, tape them up and let him pile them up and knock them down.
   Best wishes.

189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
You-Tube has lots of short baby signing time videos that are free.  an example would be - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-98njJwSl4
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