Inappropriate sexual behavior 5

[science1]

My wife's 6 year old son (I'm step-dad) confided in a 6 year old friend that sometime last school year his 5 year old brother asked him to "kiss" his "Privates" and he did. This friend then blurted this secret out at school which embarrased him greatly.  I spoke with him about the situation and asked if he thought that what he did with his brother was OK.  He said, "The first time I was afraid he was going to pee in my mouth but he didn't." So I asked him if it happened more than once and he said "Yes, two times and it was gross."  I then spoke with both boys and explained that, although they are not in trouble this time, what they did was not OK and that they are called "Privates" because they are private and nobody else should touch them.  I asked them where they got the idea to do this and I got the typical, "I don't know."  Some time has obviously passed since this happened, do we leave it alone? or, do we need to persue this further?  I'm pretty freaked out over this and -one- don't want this to happen again and -two- don't want to handle this badly and have them end up with problems down the road.

[woofytoyou]

They will remember these events all their lives .  This kind of stuff has that ability to haunt us with guilt, with later confusion on sexual matters, identity's etc..  It needs cleaning, it needs to be addressed as this adult person (if it is a person) needs to be stopped from damaging more kids. Do they have tv in their room?
This information came from somewhere, did they watch it from porn from somewhere?  Tv is porn these days, but that behaviour must have been copied from someone doing it to them or seeing it from somewhere.  Keep pressing, get good sex ed books.  They have gone this far, it needs further addressing, so they are not left like caught bad 'dirty' kids caught caught caught, -that is how they feel.
woofytoyou

[itsme25]

I too would try to find out how he got the idea. Is there a chance that he was exposed to this by a family member?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You handled it fine - i.e., labeled it as wrong and set a frim limit around it. Now, I would try once again to learn how the five year old might have come up with this idea, since it doesn't normally occur to children of this age. It may well be that he has no memory of how he did get the notion - five year olds are not famous for long memories. But it's worth a try.