Sorry for the spelling .my excuse is a sticky key board
Does you play the rough games with him aswell it may be feeding into rough behavior as he does this with his sister, also, and he thinks its okay and does it at school, if he likes boys rough hosing get him into a junior Judo class or similar where there are rules of behavior and curtail the home rough housing.Perhaps if you dont play these games with him also with the guns and no other relative is, he is copying something from the TV or PC, good idea not to have any violent stuff on when children are around.
HI Kevin M,
I've been little bit in a same situation but little diffrent. My boy wouldn't follow directions just does what he feels like to do. Or it is hard to stop what he is doing right now.
ABOut reward thing for not getting seal buck will not really work. As child will do it to please you and also starts manupulating around it. Child needs to feel and understand the responsibilty and reason behind it and also the concequences. Instead taking away previlages such as watching tv etc might work.
Also check on what kind of TV programs he watch and how long? Even if he watches disney not all programs we as a parent would approve. Also check for computer games as well.
Put him in some kind of game where he gets exhausted or extra energy is chanelized. If he is a rough boy in nature then may be putting him in rough games such as foot ball, ice hockey where being rough is socially acceptable and once he gets to be so there he won't take it out at other places such as at school etc.