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Is it normal for my 10 yo neighbor to touch a 14 y o male

our neighbor has a kid who is 10 yo boy and my son is 14 and they hang out a lot and like to swim. One day they were changing and they both were looking at eachothers penis and touching eachothers nothing horribly bad but shold I be concerned about this? There both going through puberty is it just experimental?
10 Responses
535822 tn?1443976780
I think you know the answer to this and it is NO it is not okay and the neighbor may not like this happening to their 10 year old, supervise your son when he is with other children , speak to him firmly regarding the issue ,.
Avatar universal
Both boys are at that age where curiousity ends up leading to experimentation. As both boys have begun puberty they what to see how they measure up with their peers. To some extend this appears normal, however in saying that, i would make sure it doesn't happen again.
1 Comments
I disagree. 14 years old is a Helluva lot different than 10 years old. This is 100% unacceptable.
535822 tn?1443976780
At 14 years old your son knows it must be wrong to touch a younger child of 10..there is no way that this is okay .
Avatar universal
There is no doubt that a 14 year old should be touching a 10 year old. Children/teenagers at this age know they shouldn't do things but they don't have the neurological/psychological reasoning yet that adults have that make them stop and think about the consequences of their actions. I'm in no way condoning this sort of behaviour.
Avatar universal
Changing clothes in front of each other is a wrong thing to do! Those are private parts why should anyone see them! That what makes children, teenagers, or even adults having wrong sexual behaviors!
Avatar universal
Depends. Im a fourteen year olld boy and me and my friends used to masturbate together and have oral sex, (None of us are gay though). everything was fine until, like now. The whole reason im on here is 'cause i think i might have an std, so ya its probly not the best thing for them to be doing.
Avatar universal
I don't think the OP "knows" that the answer is no, particularly considering the fact that you don't seem to know whether or not that's the right answer.

A child's curiosity will inevitably lead to touching, whether you want this to happen or not. You can refrain them from touching each other; doesn't stop them from wondering.

Now, nothing the OP brought up raises a red flag, since it seems simply another case of benign and mundane "experimentation" of two boys who are around the age of puberty. Unless more details are brought up that would point to danger, I say, leave them be. There are times that even parents need not but in. (E. g. we don't need to monitor a child's private sexual activity as masturbating in their own private time; that's just obnoxiously annoying from a parent.)

On the other hand, if the younger 10-year-old is frightened or uncomfortable in any other way, then a session of conversation would probably be appropriate. Otherwise, there's really no legitimate reason to intervene.

You're the parent, and the final decision as to what you want to do with your 14-year-old boy's behaviour is completely up to you. You may already know what you WANT to do. Follow your instincts. If after what I say here you still feel like there's something wrong, throw this post away and do what your intuition is telling you; your mother instincts are probably right.
1 Comments
I disagree. It's wrong period. 14 vs 10 is a huge age gap as children. I would be furious if I found out a 14 year old was touching my 10 year old in this manner even if it was going both ways. Who is to say the 14 y.o. didn't tell the other boy to touch him.  Both kids need to be talked to and understand that this is not appropriate even if they were just being curious. The boy's parents should be notified as well so that if they choose they can keep their son away from the other child.  It's their right to know. I would want to know. If the 10 year old feels uncomfortable or scared he DEFINITELY needs to have a conversation with his own parents. No maybe about it.  
Avatar universal
This post may not be true, still the hypothetical situation is valid. The solution is simple: just teach your son that his male sexual territory is his own and not to venture outside of it and not to allow anyone inside it until he knows the one he wants to have sex with for the rest of his life. Also, talk to the dad of the 10 yo cousin about what happened and inform him that you have taught your son about his male sexual territory. There's no issue with being naked together. They are to honor each other's male sexual territories whether naked or clothed.

Another important point is that since your son is 14, he is no doubt masturbating and likely masturbating a lot. Tell him that is good and to fully enjoy himself as he is the ruler, so to speak, of his own male sexual territory. Let him know that when he gets married he will bring his very own wife into his sexual 'kingdom' so to speak, and sex with her will be exquisite, that there is nothing like it and that his hand will never measure up to her vagina. That gives him something fantastic to look forward to. My dad told me that very thing when I was 14 and was he ever right!
Avatar universal
"Who initiated the touching?" is the question I would have asked as soon as I became aware of the incident.  To me, it sounds as if the 10-year-old may have been the one who initiated the touching, and, if so, I would tend to believe that it was done out of simple curiosity about another male body.  I would simply ask my 14-year-old to try NOT to have the same situation recur and leave it at that.
1 Comments
It does sound like the 10 year old initiated it. As I see it both boys are just being curious.
Avatar universal
There isn’t anything wrong with it if they are just being curious 14 is a little bit older than 10 though.
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