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Is my 13 year old daughter transgender?

Ever since she was a little kid she's dressed like a boy and I've had no problem with that. Her hair was always cut fairly short, a little above her chin, and occasionally people who didn't know her would refer to her with male pronouns which I didn't like but she seemed to love it and always got mad at me when I corrected the person. By the time she was 9 she seemed to have grown out of it, she no longer resisted when I tried to by her something from the girls section and she let her hair grow out. Although she was acting more feminine I noticed something else new about her, she was always very drawn away and depressed. when she was 11 my ex husband found cut marks on her legs and a baggy of un labeled pills in her closet, we quickly got her to a therapist and after a few months her therapist said she was fine so we stopped taking her. When she started grade 7 her grades were great but they slowly got worse and worse, she once again became depressed and we took her back to therapy. The same thing happened, she went for a few months then her phycologist said she was fine and she stopped going. This year she started 8th grade and her grades once again plummeted. Several months ago she came home with all her hair chopped off I was furious, I'm not sure why I was mad but i was. A few weeks after the un expected haircut she came to me crying telling me she was a boy, that she was transgender. She then asked me to by her a chest binder to compress her breasts so she looked more like a boy, I refused. She started talking about wanting to go on testosterone and fully transitioning from female to male. I am scared and shocked. I have absolutely no idea what to do. Do I give in? Do I wait a few more years?
Is she really transgender??
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4730868 tn?1362619678
Honestly. I don't know much about this subject. However, I would not agree to let her start testosterone at such a young age. She is still developing and this could hurt her more than help her. As she grows up maybe you will notice more about her. She might be confused and doesn't know who she is or what she is. He therapist might have said she was okay because she never mentioned this in therapy. I would try therapy again. Her depression and dropped grades could be because she is so confused and possibly upset about it. A therapist can help guide her. However, make sure to find one that works with gender issues. Not all therapist are good for a person. It takes some research and trial and error. She needs to find one that she is comfortable with. Ask her what she would want in one and let her help with the search. I hope this helps.
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Avatar universal
Your daughter IS transgender, as a bisexual teenager myself speaking, you know from an early age who your true self is. And you as a mother shouldn't push the fact your daughter is transgender and accept her as who she is or that will just evolve into an even deeper depression and more self harm or worst suicidal thoughts that she might already have endured from the horrible pain and side effects of depression. DO NOT BE SELFISH when thinking to not buy her the chest binder or get mad of her coming out, it is not the end of the world and your daughter is still the same human being that came out of your uterus. Still the same brain,  same stare, same touch, same personality... Just a different sexe which shouldnt be something that bother people. Sometimes people are born in the wrong body or skin, these kinds of things happen in the world and you as a mother should accept it, After all it is still your daughter and not acceptibg the fact she is will just end up in her hurting herself more and fall deeper into depression. Take advice from me, a depressed self harming suicidal bisexual teenager (yes i am very messed up), and LISTEN !!! do not let your daughter become like me and stay in the closet and all that is left to do is wait, and in my defense the wait hurts, its horrible, and that is when the suicidal behaviour comes in. So do not push the fact ur daughter, or should i say soon to be son, IS in fact TRANSGENDER! Age doesnt mean confusion, do not hurt your daughter instead of helping her when you have the power too ! Lots of love and courage !
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