Is my 3 year old boys behaviour normal

[Matts_Mom29]

My son turned 3 in March.  Due to health problems he is not allowed to attend public daycares or pre-schools, I am a single mom and only get 2 hours a week away from him when a volunteer comes into my home to play with him (I am not allowed to leave my house during this time.)  He is very aggressive, he hits, bites, pinches and throws things at me when he doesn't get his way.  I am at my wits end and would like to know if this is normal or if there is something that I can do to change this kind of behaviour?

[funnybfreak]

I have a small daycare of five children in my home.  4 boys and 1 girl but my daughter(6 years old) comes and goes and plays with them also but one particular little boy hes 3 years old is obsessed with her he wants her all to him self but when shes playing with the other kids he lashes out to her and he shuts down and doesnt want to play with anybody else except her.  It seems like he wants control over her as long she is playing with him hes fine. I just don't know what to do.

[Matts_Mom29]

Thank you again for your help.  I can tell it will take a few times of this before he gets to know that I am not going to give in.  I have what people refer to as "Single-parent Syndrome" it's a lot easier to give in and not have to listen to him yell at me.  You are right though, consistency is the answer.  

[CHeimes]

I am sorry to hear that.  It must not only be hard on him but you also.

If he is capable of sitting in a chair and it's ok w/ you that he cries for a certain amount of time (without that making his lungs worse) - then I'd suggest doing the naughty chair.

Let me know if it works and you're able to suffer through the initial period of him getting out of it until he finally sits for the whole time.

Remember:  Be consistent - don't give up on a dicipline just because you tried it a couple of times and you don't think it works.  Consistency is the best thing for children/kids.  It means stability in there lives and they all need that.

[Matts_Mom29]

My son was diagnosed with a disease called Phrenic Nerve Palsy at the age of 9 months.  This means that his right diaphragm is paralyzed, only about 1/4 to 1/2 of his right lung is functioning and the part that works is being operated by the left diaphragm.  He can't clear bacterias from his lungs and therefore gets sick quite often and stays sick for long periods of time.  The Doctors want him to stay out of daycares etc. to try to protect the partial lung that he has.  Thank you very much for your input, I will try that to see if it works.  

[CHeimes]

Can you tell me what's wrong w/ him?  Why can't he go to a public school?

I can say though that if he hits, bites, punches (physically abuses) then that is cause for punishment.  NOT physical punishment, but naughty chair for 3 minutes - 1 minute per year.  If he gets out, then you put him back in, if he gets out, you put him back in, if he gets out you put him back in.... for as long as it takes.

Set the timer on your microwave for 3 minutes.  Before you set him in the naughty chair you tell him why you are doing this.  That's it... that's the only time you tell him - once.  Set the timer, set him in the chair, if he gets out before the timer is set, then you re-set the timer for another 3 minutes and so on... this could last for 30 minutes to an hour before he sits for his whole 3 minutes.  BUT don't give up - TRUST me, it works, I've done it and my almost 4-year old sits in the naughty chair for the whole time.

Once he's sat there for his 3 full minutes then you get down to his level and you tell him why again you set him there and that you won't tollerate him doing that again.  Then you have him tell you he understands and then hug him so he knows you still love him no matter what.

Try it - trust me it works!