Is my four year old hyper?

Question

My 4 year old daughter has always been very active. She always slept less, dropped both naps by 18 months and only sleeps 9 - 910 hrs a day. I find that she is very hyper in the evenings. We live in a small condo and I make sure she gets out every morning. 3 days for pre-school, 2 at a playgroup and usually we go to a park or my parents on weekends. We are out from 8:30am to almost noon, yet she gets very restles around 5pm and the constant moving starts. She is either running, jumping, doing flips, yelling.... the list goes on and on. If we try to introduce calming activities she may slow down for a little while but starts up again, but even more active. The more we try to calm her the worse she gets. When she was younger I was told she needed to nap still, that she was over tired. If she naps, even for as little as 15 min, she's up till 11 or later. Then I was told it means she needs an earlier bed time. Tried to put her to bed at 8pm and she was up at 4am. She sleeps well from 9:30pm to 7:30am.

This discussion is related to 7 year old boy accused of assault.

onceisenough · Answer

i know exactly what your going through my four year old son has always been hyper but since his birthday it has gone to a whole new level, im literally pulling my hair out, my husband works while i stay home with him i thought i could do it alittle longer but i told him for my sanity he has to go to preschool asap, i feel so bad for feeling like this and sometimes losing my temper and yelling at him, i cry so hard sometimes because i hate being mad at him, i think he has adhd he pretty much has all of the symptoms, my son talks alll day everyyday hes never quiet, ever, even when hes watching his favorite show he talks through the whole show and tells you the whole story, at the playground hell come talk to us and i have to make him go play, if i tell him something sometimes hell throw himself into a wall or pretend to fall really hard on the floor, after i tell him not to do something everyday he continues to do it, and i just lose and he tells me hes a good boy and he starts crying and thats when i realized i dont think he can control it i think he has adhd and i feel horrible because sometimes i just think please go back to your grandmas house, he goes every weekend thank goodness, i looking into some private preschools now so he can be in a smaller class and the teacher can help him and guide him, i was thinking about part time because i feel so bad sending him away all day, so im gonna try part time and see how that goes, if it doesnt get better im gonna have to get him checked for adhd i refuse to give him medication so ill just look for one of the many schools who specialize in children with add and adhd, im pretty sure he has adhd i have always told my husband since he was two he was to hyper he can go days without sleeping if you let him, he never i mean never gets tired, he talks every sec, and its like theres a motor inside of him and now behavior has become a issue and he was always my sweetheart and still is, but im just going to have to buckle down and help him it might be just as frustrating to him as it is for me. but i know for sure i will never have kids again, im 23 and just got my tubes tied

Natta1980 · Answer

what does she like? drawing? music? particular toys? supply activities in abundance, help her if she needs direction, and, as margypops noted above, let her fidget. She may need is, physically.. as long as she does activities in pre-school - she is fine...

margypops · Answer

You be occupied and let her fidget, ignore it.

ifsogirl · Answer

Well thanks for the advice.  I think it drives me nuts because I'm around her all day.  At pre-school it is very structured and they keep busy.  There is free time and they get to choose there own "work".  She is allowed to pick the activities she wants and spend the time she wants to on it.  I know she does a pin pushing activity that she concentrates on but when she is home it is constant movment and fidgeting.  If anyone has advice on how to keep her occupied please let me know'

Natta1980 · Answer

I still have trouble sitting down....have to get up and walk somewhere at work - every 20 minutes at least.....Always had to walk around when studying.....Tend to pace around a lot...Graduated in top 5 of every school, university, music school, what have you.......

I know a few pretty brilliant people - adults - that jump up and down all the time, while at their desks:)

Some people just have their nervous system wired that way.....She is most likely to calm down when she gets older....

P.S. my boss does not mind me walking around on a company time as he knows that I think about work while I walk.......:) hehe

Good luck

margypops · Answer

Does she run around at pre school and play group if she is doing it all day long how do they cope with it,there.A lot of children have this excess energy , if you take the things that keep her quieter she will get more bored, I also think at 4 year old she doesnt need a day nap and that would keep her up in the night. Plenty of children are like this and very active they calm as they get older and into sports and Phsyical activities.and use up that energy.

ifsogirl · Answer

I guess I should have said she is very active all day long.  It just increases after 5pm.  I have told her it is quiet time after 7pm and have introduced quiet activities (bath, books, colouring).  She may quiet down for a few minutes but then starts up again.  We have been firmly and consitantly doing this for 3 years now.  Even playing board games with us turns into a gymnastics performance with us constantly reminding her to sit down and relax.  We have taken away TV, games and other activities when she does not settle, but this just gets her moving more, (boredom?)  All day long is a battle of me reminding her not to jump on the furniture or race through the house.  Even watching TV can't be done without constant movement.

margypops · Answer

Perhaps if you told her it was quiet time in the evening and firmly insisted she watch a programme or read a book or play a board game with you, you can control the yelling and the flips and the running in your house, by not allowing them to happen ,set the bounderies even though she hasnt done anything wrong ,tell her that you and her Family want some quiet.and her behavior is not permitted at that time,If she wakes early leave some books and drawing and tell her she has to stay in bed till a certain time ,if she wakes early she can sit and read.Be firm and consistant .