Is this normal 5 year old behaviour

[wowsimgirl]

Ok so her goes my son who is 5 at the time of writing this is quite a problem child.  Since he was from the age of 2 I have noticed several things in his behaviour which leads me to believe something to be wrong.  When he was 2 if he did not get his own way he would throw himself to the ground and bang his head constantly screaming and shouting leaving me in bewilderment even in the street.  REcently I have noticed that he thinks it may be ok to phone people that visit his school i.e. Funny Party Clowns and Emergency Services for the Fire Brigade.  He decided he would throw his shoes for school into large bushes which are tight and compact and we can not find them.  I was just wondering has anyone else come across similar behaviour and is it normal for my son to behave the way he has.  When we speak to him he seems to be as if he is not on this world like he is somewhere else, even when we look at him in the eyes.  

[Sally44]

As you had ADHD in the wider family, have you considered whether this might be an autistic spectrum disorder?  Has he been assessed by multi disciplinary professionals that have experience of diagnosing these types of disorders eg. Speech Therapist, Educational Pscyholgist/Clinical Psychologist, Developmental Paediatrician, Occupational Therapist etc.
It sounds like he isn't engaging in the classroom, and is having some behavioural issues as well.  I think you need some answers.  What is his speech and social interaction like compared with is peers.
Does he repeat words or phrases he has heard other people say or from TV or films he has seen?
Does he have any sensory issues.

[wowsimgirl]

oh and the rash was slapped cheek disease

[wowsimgirl]

Ok peeps here is an update my son is now 6 years old.  We recently attended a meeting at the school where he attends with his teachers, classroom assistants, learning supposrt teacher and the educational psychologist who will observe my son over the course of a few months.  Her is the minutes of the meeting of what he has been doing.

1)  My son has the ability to cope with the work in the class.  When focused he works well.
2) My son is easily led/distracted.  He shouts out, makes noises and plays with anything lying around on the table.  His work is affected by his negative behaviour.
3) He refuses to be removed when he is disrupting the class.
4) He is attending a course called HEADSTART.  After a short time he seeks attention.  He misses that start of the lessons because of this which sets him back for the rest of the day.
5) He gets upset when he misses time from play however it does not improve his behaviour
6) He seeks one to one attention although this does not improve his work
Various strategies have been tried i.e. priasing him, encouraged to work with others, setting his own targets, ignoring him, helping the janitor and using a timer.  They only worked for a short time.
7) His behaviour is affecting other children in the class.
8) He does only what he wants to do.
9) He works with the learning support teacher more and when this happens she uses sand and magnetic letters as a reward for him.
10) He appears to be in an imaginary world,  He talks about innapropriate and imaginary things.  He plays with the letter i all the time which has now been removed.
11)  He does not stay on task during number work.  
12) He finds spelling difficult.
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Now at home on a journey to the doctors nothing disciplinary related a converstion was held between me and my son.  It involved asking him how he felt because he had a rash on his cheeks and therefore I was asking him if it was sore or itchy.  

He changed the subject saying oh look at that truck.  There was no truck in sight at the time

He refuses at home to do things he is told as we like to set aside tasks for him to do.

He decides what he wants to do and when he will do it.

I have bought him yoghurts and myself a nice treat of yoghurts as well.  Today I told him that he could only have his own and to leave mummies ones alone.  He totally disregarded this stealing every single last one of my yoghurts whilst I was folding clothes upstair and putting them away.

We are going back to the doctors to get him referred to a specialist.  I will report on his behaviour as circumstances permit.

In the meantime any suggestions would be brilliant.

[babygirl6152]

I have never heard of a child threatening to kill his teacher though. I hope you have had a long talking to about him with this. And I hope the punishment was harsh this day. WOWWW I have worked with children over 20 years and have worked with many problem children and the worst I ever heard was the child saying they would kill themselves- sheesh

how about Asberger's Syndrome/? lack of eye contact/socially inept

BTW-This nastiness toward adults is also not behavior to ignore (maybe he is just a regular 5 year old????) BALONEY
- I am trying not to overreact here but I have a brother who spent most of his days in boy's ranch or prison starting at age 13- He lied, stole, ran away-even left the church one day at age 7, after telling my mother he just wanted to go to the restroom. They found he had broke in to a car on the parking lot. He did end up murdering someone at age 29.... we think he was a sociopath. God's blessings upon you, lady

[wowsimgirl]

Thank you everyone for your replies I must be just an obsessive worrier especially when it comes to my son as he is the carry on for his fathers name and the only one I might add.  We have had discussions at the school about his behaviour i.e. getting up from his chair running round class and making silly noises.  He even turned to the teacher and said that he hated her and was going to kill her because she would not give him a treat (obviously because of his mis-bahaviour he was not allowed the treat)  I am finding new ways to tackle the behaviour I have said to him that if he gets 3 bad strikes in the one week of school he will not be allowed to go to soft-play which he dearly loves.  I don't think he has adhd I had that checked already as my cousin has it and he is in no way as disruptive as what my cousin was ( my cousin could not sit still ) I think he just likes to go into his own world sometimes which is what he did when he was little he would sit in a corner quite placid and play quietly by himself regardless of his big sister being there as a playmate.  He seems to get on a lot better by himself but in the same breath he copies other childrens behaviour as well. He does have a slight problem with putting pencil to paper and he is in Primary 2 now however they are handling it pretty well with the treats etc.  Outside of school he seems to be fine he mixes well especially with the girls I think majorly due to the fact I have 2 girls and no other boys in the family.  I know I am rambling on here however I think he is just doing what every little boy does - learning to be a man.  And think it is quite good for him to tell us how he feels even if it is bad and upsetting at the time he tells me I have made him angry or happy or sad and it's good I think for a male to do that as so many men do not.  I am hoping to mould him into somewhat of a loving man who is sensitive and does not care about showing his feelings like so many men seem to do - be macho.  But on a whole I think his behaviour is typical of a 5 year old after reading all your comments and thank you all because now I know that he is fine and there are other little boys like him :)

[LRM1021]

Most of what you wrote about seems to be pretty normal.

2 year olds can throw awful fits-- really awful. Its kinda their job to go throug that phase.

5 year olds often cannot distinguish between reality and fantasy-- and have been known to throw things away that they should not, or call people they should not.

None of that sounds very damaging, really.

So some further things to think about in terms of whether your son's behavior is in the realm of normal::

-- is he doing well at school? Does he have any academic, social, or behavior issues there?
-- is he doing alright socially outside of school?

If the answer to these questions is yes-- then I think you've got a very interesting and interested kid-- congratulations!  Might be more challening, but will be more fun.

If these other areas are problematic, then in combination with this ONE sentence you wrote, "When we speak to him he seems to be as if he is not on this world like he is somewhere else, even when we look at him in the eyes.  " -- you might want to have him evaluated. I only mention this because this is something that parents of children who have ADHD/ inattentive type will often indicate-- they can seem disconnected from their surroundings to a certain extent. I have seen a few children like this, and the words you use there would describe it perfectly. However, please note that even if a child displays this "disconnectedness" it does not mean conclusively that the child has ADHD.   Again, if the child has no other social, academic, or behavior issues, then I would absolutely not pursue it.

[erinsmom]

I have a 4 yr old who was so extremely difficult at age 15 months - 3 yrs, that even doctors were concerned. He could be so difficult that I didn't even want to leave the house because everything was a battle. We've had numerous therapists and he was even placed in a special education class last year when he turned three.  However, as he got older and was able to communicate better his behavior improved drastically.  After just a month in the special ed class, his teacher knew that he did not belong there.  He's just a very intelligent boy and he is now in a regular preschool class and is doing great.  I'm sure if your son had any problems to be concerned about, his school would recognize it and let you know.  It sounds like he's a smart kid who just likes to take things into his own hands.  I can relate, my son is the same way.  I understand that even when you discipline them in every way you can think of, they just don't care.  They're going to do their own thing, no matter what the consequences are.  It's just their nature.  You have to try a little harder with these little guys, but I have a feeling it will all be well worth it in a few years from now.

[Trialanderror]

To me he sounds only to be borderline of misbehaving, rather like a bright 5-year-old who is exploring his own independence and executing "what-if" scenarios. What if I throw those shoes away, will I get to wear comfortable ones? What if I were grown-up and could arrange for the Party Clown back to school? In that sense. Of course you will have to draw a line and not let him repeat the same actions but he deserves a "silent pat on the back" for having the courage to take matters in his own hands. It doesn`t sound like he wants to annoy you, he sounds like a typical guy-to-be: if there`s a problem, let`s find a simple solution. My son managed to call his own preschool at age 4 and let the director know: "Hi, I am not coming today." And when I was 5, I stuffed medication in our plant pots to avoid having to take it. It diesn`t mean that children should get away with crazy actions but I would not worry about anything being wrong with him.

[tiredbuthappy]

what you describe sounds like a child who has not been taught self-regulation and discipline. Nothing you say indicates anything other than a misbehaving child. When he was 2 and threw these tantrums, how did you handle it? What are the consequences for the recent actions you describe? I realize it's often hard to write everything in one post. Are there other things you are noticing that would indicate something is wrong?