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Is this normal 9 year old behavior??

My 9 year old daughter recently started a new school. She was scared and cried alot the first few days. She began taking items such as my necklace or picture of me with her to school. The fourth day or so, she got hysterical and Im three weeks into it and the hysteria/anxiety is worse. She clings to me, begs me not to leave, screams, runs after the car and Im at my wits end She has never acted this way. One day she seemed very ill so I let her stay home and then she was fine, playing with her toys and laughing . My husband feels is control/manipulation. Im at a loss. She is very bright and probably too close to me, I have two teens that i HOMEschool and a 20 month old. I wonder if she feels left out by having to go to school or if this is something more serious. We have tried rewards for going to class with no tantrums, herbal remediesn such as calming tea, talking and addressing her fears, the teacher has assigned really nice kids she refuses to talk to or play with them. Now ive taken away her privillege of coming home for lunch until she can go to class without the screaming and crying. I dont know what to do. She is fine once school is over, laughing and telling me about her day and Im stuck with a bad headache all day and feeling sick at starting each day this way.This morning I started  yelling at her in front of the classroom and a parent took her from me and marched her in the classroom becuz  i was about to lose it.
Please help
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Avatar universal
Maybe homeschooling teens are better than sending them to high school. It could be 1) separation anxiety (not likely if this just started especially at that age), 2) she may be bullied in school, 3) jealous your other kids get to stay home.

My friend went thru the same thing with her 9 year old daughter. Each day, her daughter would screaming and cry and refuses to go to school. Each morning was a nightmare. Finally my friend moved away for a year and her daughter adjusted well to the new school. When they moved back, she pleaded with her mom not to go back to that school but she had to and she sat in the office for a week straight refusing to go to class. She finally got approved to go to another school in the district and she did fine. It turned out that she was being bullied by the faculty and kids. She may also have some social anxiety issues as well where bullying can intensify her anxiety. She cries out to you because she needs comfort.

Try to find out what is going on in school first. Even my own son has cried before because the teachers or kids were being mean.  
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184674 tn?1360860493
This sounds like separation anxiety. Is there a school guidance counselor available at this new school whom she can see?
Also, I wonder why you homeschool your two older children and not her? Maybe she is feeling left out as you suspect--all her siblings get to stay home with you every day while she's sent off to a place she has yet to become familiar with enough for comfort. You say she's very close to you, maybe too close, but she's the child you're sending away each day while her siblings get to stay home with you.
Just wondering why your arrangements are this way--not trying to be judgemental or anything, it just seems odd that the dynamics are this way for schooling your kids.
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