Locking a 13y/o in his room.

[lookingforawnsers]

Me and my wife are at wits end, he just becomes so abusive physically and emotionally to us and his little sister that we have exhausted every alternative. So when he gets to that point we just lock him in his room until he calms down. We go to counseling, special education, IEP meetings, then home schooled as he was expelled, and special therapy sessions for him. We spend most of our days focusing on him and his behavior and we have tried everything, He does not respond to anything or anyone for any reason. I am just not sure what is left to do.

[specialmom]

That is very true.  If you are in the states, there are laws that actually protect your son and guarantee his education.  If he does not work out in a mainstream school, they MUST provide alternate schools for him.  INCLUDING transportation.  So, our city, for example, has a school for kids that have struggles such as your son.  It's about 30 minutes from us.  If our district can not work with a child in the district, they must provide transportation and tuition to the school I'm speaking of.  The school system is going to have far greater resources to help and deal with your son on a day to day basis than you are at home.    good luck

[Sandman2]

   If you can't get inpatient treatment - he needs to be back at school where he can get some of the help he deserves.   His IEP should be written so that they cannot expel him.  His school should be much better equipped then you guys to deal with him.  If not, you need to find a school that is.
   Speaking of finding schools - have you tried a psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD or kids of this age?  You really seem to have not gotten any info that helps you or him.    I would assume that he has had a complete medical exam to rule out things like thyroid problems, etc.?
   When you said, he refuses treatments.  Does this include medications?  Have you tried meds?  It seems kind of obvious that if the correct med can be found, it should make a difference.
   Finally, I am including 3 pretty good links on dealing with anger.  They should at least help you deal with him and also maybe help him too.
    http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/9868.html?utm_source=eletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=July
    http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/74/slide-1.html?utm_source=eletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=July
    http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/7951.html

[specialmom]

Talk to your doctor about inpatient treatment options for him.  That could really work well for some in crisis mode such as this.  good luck

[lookingforawnsers]

The diagnosis have been spotty at best but have ranged from Asperger's syndrome to him being a sociopath. ADD, Bipolar, Severe mood disorder and a few others that I cannot remember anymore. He refuses any kind of treatment or education he would rather argue, scream, and fight for 3 hours instead of doing something he doesn;t want to for 20 minutes. Even when you offer him incentives he will try to manipulate for the payout without putting in the work, Ugh, and all I seem to feel like is that I am complaining about him. I love him I just don't know what I can do for him.

[specialmom]

Have you considered some in patient treatment?  In cases like this, it can be very effective.  What is his diagnosis?

[Sandman2]

    Its pretty hard to give ideas if no diagnosis is known.   Is he bipolar, adhd?  Have you tried any meds?  If so what?    Also, thought that schools could not expel  a child if the reason for his behavior was on his IEP?
    I feel for you guys.  I am sure that as soon as the home schooling began, a lot of your support group left.  How long has he been home schooled now?