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Avatar universal

MY 8 YEAR OLD SON WON'T STOP PUTTING HIS FINGERS "IN" HIS BUTT "HELP"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My step son and I are very close although i find this so disgusting I don't want to even want to hold his hand we first thought he just was touching his poop but then we found out it was not just that we have talked to him about how it can not only make you sick but we also told him haw some people get so sick they can die. he has cried in his prayers to help him but now it is a addiction for him how can i get him to stop he dose it in the bathroom or while watching t.v i don't want to think where else. he is mildly disabled but could his real dad have done some thing because then i will need some one to help talk me out of killing him. Please help. I love him like he is my own but like all dads I don't want my son to become gay. He to young due to his disability his mind compasity is that of a 6 year old. I'm the worst speller but he has Carabulpalsy mild he can walk with the help of braces.
24 Responses
203342 tn?1328740807
How old is he? I was thinking maybe when he's going to the bathroom you could sit with him and gently hold his hands or put a book in his hands (even better! :) Try and keep his hands busy. That might help. Maybe you could put him in clothes that's a little harder for him to reach his backside, like overalls or a jumpsuit (just for awhile until he breaks this obsession.) or pants with a belt.
When did he start this? Do you have any reason to believe that he's been molested?

I have no idea why you'd think this could make him gay. I think he's just picked up a disgusting habit, like some kids who pick their noses! And before taking his hand, just make sure he's washed his hands! Have him wash his hands throughout the day or keep some hand sanitizer with you. I hope any of this helps.
Avatar universal
No he is putting them In his anus not picking or scratching when asked why he says it feels good he is 8 years old he started doing it when he was 7 so about a year ago he goes of with his real dad every blue moon so i don't know what goes on there.
Avatar universal
We had this problem when our son was five years old.  My neighbour pointed out the solution - pinworms.  You can purchase over-the-counter medication for this issue at local pharmacies; however, you might have to ask for it (sometimes it is kept behind the counter but usually no doctor's prescription is required).  Pinworms is a very common problem with children, especially after they start school.  It really is very easy to eradicate.
Avatar universal
OK so ever one knows i had him checked for pin worms its not that its a sexual thing is any one reading my post at all he dose it as masterbatshion its not a ich or a scratch its a sticking it in and out.
13167 tn?1327197724
I know you think it's a sexual thing,  from reading your last post.

I don't know why you think reaching into his butt is sexual - it isn't.  

I had my boys checked for pinworms too,  turned up negative,  I treated them anyway with over the counter stuff from Walgreens.  The butt rubbing went away.

Best wishes.  I think you're REALLY headed down the wrong path thinking this is sexual,  and it will put distance between you and this boy.
Avatar universal
ok rock he only puts his fingers in when he is stressed he has had worm a few times to where if he has them he will tell us THIS IS NOT WORMS he says it feels good his pennis get erected and when asked why he says it feels good.
Avatar universal
I would take him to his pediatrician to make sure there is nothing wrong with his lower bowels, you just never know.  I would start there first, and rule out anything that might be more serious.  Then you can get the opinion of his doctor how you should handle it.  I honestly don't think this is any indication of his sexuality being gay or heterosexual.
Avatar universal
I would do some research on the internet for sexual abuse in kids and their are "red flags" that indicate sexual abuse.  The red flags would be behaviors you would see in a child.  You could take him to a child Psychologist who can talk or have play therapy to help figure this out for your family.  My prayers are with you.
Avatar universal
Again, I have read articles about child abuse.  Really take this seriously and get to a Psychologist.  My son in second grade was put on Prozac for anxiety.  In one month he went manic, and was smearing fecus in the bathroom at school.  I have since been told by a behavior specialist that these two types of behaviors and starting fires are from/ or can be caused from sexual abuse.  Maybe it was not his dad, who else has he been left with even grandparts, people the dad left the boy with, school, church.  You would be suprised where and who sexually abuse children.
Avatar universal
Avatar universal
thanks for the input he dose it when he gets strest or if he is trying not to do it. when he goes with his dad he leaves him with any one so he dose not have to spend a lot of time with him.
Avatar universal
You are definitely on the right track to investigate masturbation in your 8 year old son.  I was molested by my father at age 7 and it continued until my parents divorced at age 12.  By age 15, I had sex with 4 other men and I also began to engage in sexual activity with other small children.  It is a sickness and your son MAY have been molested.  I was too sick (mentally and emotionally) to understand what had happened to me.  Sex was created to feel good.  It was NOT created to be done with children or between family members.  This is why when it's done to a child, so much psychological damage is done.  Please don't judge your step-son but seek professional help and if you know the Lord, take advantage of His power to heal our past hurts and help us use those test as testimonies to bring His love and light as healing to [possibly] your son and so many others that are being wounded.  Best of wishes "Cool Dad"  
Avatar universal
I’m shocked that this is being spoken about in such a way online.. if you are really concerned by this, get real medical help, not the advice from random people online. You have no idea who is reading this thread, and why – it’s a paedophiles dream, Googling “8 Year Old Masturbating he’s anus” and getting this thread.

Showing your stepson you’re ashamed of him, not touching him in an affectionate way, and acting like this is a sexual act, is abuse in its self, and could scar him for life!  Again, if you are REALLY concerned, get professional help.

I’m shocked no one else has said this prier.  
Avatar universal
Okay, You do not need to automatically assume its sexual or abuse or anything...My son did that when he was almost 4 years old, I asked him about why he was doing it, and he said the same thing "it feels good"
It is absoulutly normal for a boy to expieremnt with his body. You should never shame your child for it or make it so he feels like he needs to cry in his prayers...this will make the situation worst and could cause him to be very nerautic (sp?) as he gets older. Teach him about the appropriate times, and about germs. Chances are he will grow out of it, my son did at about age 5...so that was about a year or more. If I saw him doing it id just say "Hunny, you shouldnt do that in public, its bad manners, and it can cause iky germs, please go wash your hands"  when he was 3 he use to touch his penis, and get an erection, boys at young ages are just realizing that there are differnt parts of their bodies that are sensitve and it probably does feel good. thats normal, the more you tell him hes bad or dirty, the more shamfull he will becaome and the more odd things he will do and try and you will never know about bevause you made it seem like he was being "bad" or "dirty"

you cant tell me that when you were younger, u didnt touch yourself....i have had 6 siblings as well, i am MUCH older than all of them, and between the ages of 3-8 they all went through discovering their body.
When my son did it, I first spoke to my doctor, and I also have an uncle who is a socail worker and they told me the same thing,  DO NOT SHAME THEM...teach them....appropriate times and about germs. My uncle said a HUGE percent of children he works with are sexually acting out or secretly "liking girls" or all the weird nerautic things are from children whos parents made a huge deal out of a child discovering their body and made them feel like they cant. or that their body is bad....

440120 tn?1211728096
I don't think you have to worry about your son turning gay. Being gay ISN'T just about sex,it is a way of thinking and a lifestyle. I mean if your son watches boys on TV and thinks their hot,then maybe...Otherwise,he just like other boys is going through a completely normal stage of growing up and hey,maybe he thinks it feels good. Get him some activities to keep him busy,apparently he has alot of time on his hands.
Avatar universal
I use to do that when i was a kid lmfao. I just did it cuz it tickled ad felt good that way.... And yes it was an addiction. I got out of that by just punishing myself.
Avatar universal
I realize this post was written a long time ago, but I am curious as to how the habit was broken. I am setting up an apointment with my child's doctor as we are facing a similar situation. Thank you.
Avatar universal
I have a son and he is 3 years-old and he does the same thing. I tell him that he can't do it in front of people and that if he does to wash his hands. My son mainly does it in the bath. It isn't sexual to him like it is for an adult but it does not make it not feel good. These kids are at an age where they are learning about their bodies. Just remind him that it is something to do in private and to wash his hands. If you make him continue to feel bad about something that make him feel good when he is stress you will potentially be taking away his coping mechanism. If you suspect abuse talk to him about it. Let him know that it is okay to talk about it. I grew up dealing with sexual abuse and it is important that the child involved knows that no matter what the abuser has told them that everything will be okay. I hope this helps you out in some way and let's you know that you are not alone. Take care.
Avatar universal
I  completely understand. My bf grand son came to live with us b/c his mother (my bf's daughter is an addict) anyway this boy has been living with us since just summer before his 4th bday. So I started catching him in an my two children a son who's almost 11/2 yrs older an my daughter who is 4 yrs older. Well my daughter would catch him in the bathroom going poop or so we thought. We had all the same talks about personal space, germs, sickness ect.. He gets sick every few weeks where he will get a temp an throw up for 24 hrs an then he fine. We made it a rule he isn t to use potty without us knowing an we removed my son from the room they shared. (they slept in sep bunk beds) But anyway he says the same that is feels good an he says he loves the taste on his fingers when he is done fingering his butt. Sorry to be blunt. But there are some very simple minded people who think "oh no he isn't doing nothing every kids do ect" no this isn't something I've ever encountered. My son has no interest in his bottom. We took him to a child psych an my bf didn't tell her the entire truth. The grandson told me o e morning after I caught him doing it again.  That he wanted to do it to other boys an then a long story about making another kid in his pre school go to the bthrm with him an making him bend over. I said why wouldn't he tell o. U an he said b/c I hit him an make him scared. Long story short I called Social Services an it turned out to be a lie. At this time he was 5. Now almost a yr later he is monitored at all times no bathroom by him self or alone with any children. But he waits till we turn his tv off at night to finger his butt. Well I started to think maybe he was addicted to the faramones. In other words the smell of his butt. Well I went to change his sheets tonight after his bath an it just so happens that I put tan sheets on his twin bed 2 weeks ago an tonight there were these white cream like spots on his sheets an pillow. The last time I'd seen these spots I figured it was from like druleing or runny nose. So anyway he was standing there watching me change his sheets an so I asked him to tell me the truth about what made the marks. He said " it's from when I pick my butt at night an in the morning" I said that he needs to be honest. So he says " it's what come out of my private when I'm picking my butt" he said it feels so good an my private gets hard sometimes an white stuff come out when I'm picking my butt" idk what to do.  My bf thinks we should just ignore it
Avatar universal
My oldest brother(52) just had a stroke in Janurary,he now for some reason he keeps putting his fingers in his anus even when he doesn't have to poop. My whole family is upset over the fact cause we can't find any answer to why he does it. He doesn't realize he is even doing it. He has dug in it so bad he has bleeding any masive pain. If anyone has an answer to this please help us out. I've been on the internet looking for some in sight on this.
Avatar universal
i'm 15 years old and i am addicted to this....i'm ashamed and embarrassed of the fact that i do this, but its for masterbation purpouses, i stared about 3 years ago, i use to do it when i younger also, i have no idea how i started....but then recently my mom told me that when i was younger my grandma molested me and stuck her fingers up my ***....so your child might have been sexually abused.
Avatar universal
many have said this already but, he's not going to 'become gay' by such a habit. he is either gay from birth or not which he will discover on his own when he is older like all gays do. its just a bad habit that he has gotten into.
Avatar universal
People are still reading this post my ex wife and I got a divorce and I have no contact with him nor my son cuz shes a psychotic *****. I still love her son as if he was mine but I been re mairried and have another step son and been with my wife for 4 years married for 3. And my son step son thinks im the coolist step dad of all time.
707563 tn?1553635552
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