Hello, my son will be 3 in March. He's a sweet, helpful kid who on occasion will throw a tantrum at home, nothing out of the ordinary, however, the year before last my husband and I transferred him from a home daycare to a public daycare. Within 3 mo. he's teachers wanted him to move up to the next class because they felt that the course was to slow for him. After transitioning to this new class I started getting calls about his behavior: not listening, testing the limits, a lot of tantrums, not wanting to be apart of a group activities. During one of the parent-teacher meetings, we told them that we didn't have a behavior problem at home and if there was ever an issue, our discipline was usually counting to 3 and putting him in timeout which extinguishes the tantrum. After trying it for a month, they claimed it didn't always work; within the last month of him leaving they claimed that he tried to kick a teacher on two different occasions. I spoke to the director and even went to the school to watch this behavior which I never saw problems. Now he's been in a home daycare in the last 6 months and the teacher started bringing up the same issues. If what I'm doing at home works fine, why is he acting this way at daycare? I really don't know what to do. He's never been the group type of kid, he plays well with others when he wants to, yes he does the test the limits and it seems that he has selective listening at times, whenever he does have tantrums it's usually because he can't express himself with words very well. Also, his father is in the military who unfortunately has been relocated without us, so he's here every once in a while.
Continue your systematic management at home. The same approach at the daycare would be effective. He may not be 'ready', if you will, for out-of-home care, but it's a less-than-perfect world and sometimes children have to be cared for outside the home because staying at home is not an option.
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