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My 6 yr. killed his kitten today
Dear Form,
My 6yr. old son killed his little kitten today, he's had a few stories about it, but I think he hit it with a stick. He said he was playing with it by teasing the cat with the stick and hit it accidently to hard. When he came in and told us he was crying and said a big dog bit the cat and it was bleeding from the mouth. Well we ran out to see and the cat was laying in the driveway. We believed him at first, he told me what happen while his dad got it up. When my husband came back in the story change, then I knew he was lying. I told him to tell the truth, he ask if I would give him a spanking and I said no so he told us that he hit it with the stick while playing with it. I ask him if he just hit it once or more and he said more. then the story went back and forwards from doing it on purpose or on accident. I want to believe it was just an accident but I don't know, in the last two days he has bit up a little boy in a room with the door shut and he hit the little boy next door with a stick in the head today. He was tested for ADHD this past year in kindergarden and they said he was border line ADHD and a behavior problem, but they suggest I see his doctor about it and decuss taking medication. His grades were not bad but his behavior was terrible. I had a baby 2 months before he started kindergarden and I thought maybe that was the problem but he has always had problems with his behavior and in the daycare and at home. We decided try the medication just to see if it made a difference and it did. We stopped giving him the medicine for the summer and at first it was ok and now somedays are good and some are terrible, like today. He pitches bad fits over little and big things. When I was pregnant I stopped spanking him because he tried to kick me in the stomach everytime, so my husband had to do which he doesn't like but is a little better at it now. I spank him sometimes now. We tried time out and taking things he likes away but they didn't work with him. He has always been spoiled by everyone and I have probably more since the baby came so he wouldn't feel left out. I have heard that killing animals when your a child could lead to a criminal life or worse. Should I just leave it as a accident, seek proffessional help, or give him his medication all year round. He kept taking about the kitten after the shock I guess wore off, saying things like where's kitty when he walked outside and then saying oh I forgot he's dead. I'm really upset about this and don't know what to do, I can't get the image of the kitten bleeding and knowing my son did it out of my mind. I love him so much and I'm frighten of what might happen next he seem to vilent. PLEASE HELP!
Regina
My 6yr. old son killed his little kitten today, he's had a few stories about it, but I think he hit it with a stick. He said he was playing with it by teasing the cat with the stick and hit it accidently to hard. When he came in and told us he was crying and said a big dog bit the cat and it was bleeding from the mouth. Well we ran out to see and the cat was laying in the driveway. We believed him at first, he told me what happen while his dad got it up. When my husband came back in the story change, then I knew he was lying. I told him to tell the truth, he ask if I would give him a spanking and I said no so he told us that he hit it with the stick while playing with it. I ask him if he just hit it once or more and he said more. then the story went back and forwards from doing it on purpose or on accident. I want to believe it was just an accident but I don't know, in the last two days he has bit up a little boy in a room with the door shut and he hit the little boy next door with a stick in the head today. He was tested for ADHD this past year in kindergarden and they said he was border line ADHD and a behavior problem, but they suggest I see his doctor about it and decuss taking medication. His grades were not bad but his behavior was terrible. I had a baby 2 months before he started kindergarden and I thought maybe that was the problem but he has always had problems with his behavior and in the daycare and at home. We decided try the medication just to see if it made a difference and it did. We stopped giving him the medicine for the summer and at first it was ok and now somedays are good and some are terrible, like today. He pitches bad fits over little and big things. When I was pregnant I stopped spanking him because he tried to kick me in the stomach everytime, so my husband had to do which he doesn't like but is a little better at it now. I spank him sometimes now. We tried time out and taking things he likes away but they didn't work with him. He has always been spoiled by everyone and I have probably more since the baby came so he wouldn't feel left out. I have heard that killing animals when your a child could lead to a criminal life or worse. Should I just leave it as a accident, seek proffessional help, or give him his medication all year round. He kept taking about the kitten after the shock I guess wore off, saying things like where's kitty when he walked outside and then saying oh I forgot he's dead. I'm really upset about this and don't know what to do, I can't get the image of the kitten bleeding and knowing my son did it out of my mind. I love him so much and I'm frighten of what might happen next he seem to vilent. PLEASE HELP!
Regina
Peggy,
Who wrote the bipolar child?
Who wrote the bipolar child?
read the book "the bi-polar child" and see if that sounds like your son.
I know I sound like a broken record with this but eliminating artifical dyes, flavors and preservatives and adding essential fatty acids eliminated my 6 yr old's problems with anger and aggression, hitting, scratching, etc. We also limit sugar, juices, sodas, and corn syrup. Dairy products cause him problems too. We give him a lot of vitamin supplements that have helped a lot. His behavior improved after two weeks of changing his diet and he is still improving. Go to drrapp.com, foodallergy.org, feingold.org and greatplainslaboratory.com.
Instead of punishing his bad behavior, try giving specific positive praise for good behavior and try not to react to the bad behavior by yelling or spanking. Simply give the reason for not approving of the bad behavior. Try reading "Taking Charge of ADHD" by Barkley and "Power Parenting for Children with ADD/ADHD" by Flick.
And good luck. It took us 6 months to find the right combination of things for my son. I spent two hours a night on the Internet learning what was working for other parents. I did not want my son on a lot of medication due to his age and the side effects. He now takes only 5 mg Ritalin during school, but nothing on the weekends and during the summer.
Instead of punishing his bad behavior, try giving specific positive praise for good behavior and try not to react to the bad behavior by yelling or spanking. Simply give the reason for not approving of the bad behavior. Try reading "Taking Charge of ADHD" by Barkley and "Power Parenting for Children with ADD/ADHD" by Flick.
And good luck. It took us 6 months to find the right combination of things for my son. I spent two hours a night on the Internet learning what was working for other parents. I did not want my son on a lot of medication due to his age and the side effects. He now takes only 5 mg Ritalin during school, but nothing on the weekends and during the summer.
I'm sure that the doctor here on the forum will have some decent advice, and I have no credentials what-so-ever to hand out "child behavioral health" information. However, I don't understand why you haven't been keeping him on his medication if that indeed seemed to help him. Wouldn't keeping him on his medication be an OBVIOUS thing to do, since his problems have escalated since being off of it??
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Dear Regina,
By all means, you should obtain professional help for your son. His behavior is not explainable by ADHD alone. But, if you know the medication is helpful to him, there's no reason to stop for the summer.
Your son's aggressive behavior has been a problem for a long while, and it will not get better by simply letting time pass.
You also need some help around behavior management, and a clinician can help you with this also. For a child who is aggressive, spanking is a bad idea. It will not help, and it may actually exacerbate the problem.
By all means, you should obtain professional help for your son. His behavior is not explainable by ADHD alone. But, if you know the medication is helpful to him, there's no reason to stop for the summer.
Your son's aggressive behavior has been a problem for a long while, and it will not get better by simply letting time pass.
You also need some help around behavior management, and a clinician can help you with this also. For a child who is aggressive, spanking is a bad idea. It will not help, and it may actually exacerbate the problem.
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