I have joint custody of my son who lives with his mother 1 hr away. I pick him up from school on Tues.'s and we meet half way at 7:30pm for the drop off. I also get him every other weekend and every Sunday. We have known about the ADHD for about six months now. At first his mother did not beleive that he had it but after her talking to the teacher,principle,physcologist, and finally reading some information about it, she is now finally seeing the light. I have always been responsible for all of his medical needs and I'm not just talking about the money. I mean taking him to the doc.,dentist,and counceling. At first I was for the meds and we put him on Concerta for 1 day and he complained of a terrible headache (this kid is never sick), so we switched him to Ritalin LA. After researching the ritalin and reading the horror stories I took him off that after the first day. So, now I guess I'm against giving him the drugs. I forgot to mention that he is a very picky eater and will only eat french fries,pizza w/pepporoni(he takes the cheese off),and spagetti with no meat. His breakfast and lunches are ok. Now, his behavior is gone from bad to worse, in most cases I have absolutley no control over him. My girlfriend and her 10 year old daughter live with me. We consider ourselves to be a family, the four of us. I believe my son has a crush on my girlfriends daughter because when they are both here his attention is 100% on her and this is where I loose control. My ex and I have agreed that maybe his diet has been a factor, so we decided to do the- make a meal and that's your dinner, if you don't want to eat it it will be sitting on the stove when your hungry program. The problem is that I don't believe that she is going along with the progam and I am the only one being the bad guy. I can feel him distancing from me and becoming more defiant. I have been reading everything that I can on ADHD and behavioral modification and trying to apply it, but with the short time that I spend with him, I am finding it difficult to apply it when he is yelling at me or shouting shut up to me. I am reading that I should calmly put him in Time Out when he misbehaves but I just don't feel it working. It seems like I am constently putting him in time out. Is this what they call quality time of the 2004's? I also noticed that he has been lying a lot latley. When asked if he did something that I already know he did, he denies it. I gently explain that he won't get into trouble and that lying is very bad and that he can tell me anything. He has also been having a lot of problems in school with his behavior. Any help out there for a desperate,depressed, and divorced dad who loves his son more than anything and would do anything to help him?