My 6 year old is out of control

[cheezitrb]

I have a 6 year old son who does not listen to his parents at all. We tell him the rules and he always tries to talk back to us likes he's an adult. When he asks us if he can do or have something he never waits for an answer before he starts freaking out. Even if the answer isn't no. We give him all kinds of punishments, but none of them seem to phase him. We've tried time-out, letting him pick the choice in advance, grounding him and taking things away. He never has any remorse for his actions. He always turns it around on us and tries to make us feel bad when he gets a punishment. He never says that he's sorry for what he has done. He was diagnosed with ADHD a couple of months ago. He didn't pass kindergarten last year because he couldn't settle down and focus. He hated it so bad. We don't want to put him on medication right now. We would like to try other methods first. It's to the point that we can't even get through a day without fighting with him. Even when we don't see him for a period of time and then he comes home he still acts up for us. Do you have any suggestions on how to change my son's behavior?

[Basketkase]

A related discussion, Six year old daughter is out of control was started.

[Brenda956]

My son is 5 going on 6 next month but he gets really aggressive and he tells me that he hates me he locks me out in my balcony and he starts throwing all of my belongings to the floor and I just don't know what to do with him anymore he was taking his medications for adhd but that doesn't seem to help any more help please  

[npreese]

A related discussion, I feel your pain! was started.

[WeLuvRobert]

Cheezitrb, i hear every word u are saying....i have an 8 year old son who is also agrressive towards my husband and i and no one else....he yells, hits,cant stay still and no action of disipline helps....to all others he is a "saint" until he is with us and all hell breaks loose....there are so many different things going on with him and since he was 6 we are finding more and more things developing...i would love to talk to u (thru emails or phone) because, unless u speak to others who r going thru the same thing, people just dont understand!!! my husband and i are going thru things that we confide only to ourselves about and, theres been many arguments amongst us...its depressing, belittling (getting hit by our son), frustrating and exhausting...today i decided to try and get a local support group going in my community for parents of children with ADD/ADHD/ and ODD which my son has been diagnosed with...like many others, i need all the support i could get and i would love to share with u and/or just listen (as i know it helps to talk) please feel free to contact me @ ***@****  i am looking forward to hearing from u...God Bless and keep u and your family strong....

                        Michele (WeLuvRobert)

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

While your son may display ADHD, and while this condition might require medication, it does not account for his oppositional and angry behavior. He likely also displays either a mood disorder or Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and a clinical evaluation should be undertaken to elucidate what is occurring. If, indeed, he displays a mood disorder, then medication and therapy would be important. If he displays Oppositional Defiant Disorder, medication might be an option, but a systematic program of behavior management will be absolutely imperative (as it will be if he displays a mood disorder, too). Now, relative to managing the behavior, you can consult with the therapist about this. You can learn some helpful approaches via Lynn Clark's book SOS: Help for Parents, and in Ross Greene's book The Explosive Child.