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My 8 year old pees her pants during the day

My 8 year old daughter frequently wets herself because she does not want to stop what she is doing to go to the bathroom.  She has done it at school, at home, at friends homes, pretty much anywhere she is.  It does not happen all the time.  When my wife and I question her she says she just couldn't hold it.  Any suggestions?
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Avatar universal
When I was young noone wanted to be around me because I use to wet my pants during the day. but when my daughter was going through the same problem, I decided to take action. I would not let her drink liquids one hour before she was to go to bed. And had her go to the bathroom before she went to bed. when I was ready to go to bed (a couple of hours later) I would wake her up and let her know that  she needed to go to the bathroom and it work, did it affect her sleep pattern, I don't know that but she automatically started to wake herself up .It took a couple of months and she got it.
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Avatar universal
My daughter is 5 and a half years old. Quit panties during the day at age 2.5 with great success. After 6 months she started having daytime accidents everyday until now.. 5-10 accidents per day.. she doesnt empty her bladder completely as shown on uroflometry test.It is heart braking and I feel terrible because I have tried many different approaches to no success. Stickers, positive and reassuring attitude and we even watch cartoons in the toilet or potty for her to relax in order to empty her bladder completely. Everything looks fine to doctors so I believed that it was behavioural or luck of concentration to fully empty her bladder. She also resists to go when I see her squatting and remind her to go so sometimes I yelled at her for not cooperating or for staying in wet pants. That is also causing her infections and she smells bad. I hate for her to be bullied by her friends and I can only imagine what she is going through at school :(
But I know in my heart that she doesnt do it on purpose and she doesnt like it either. The last 2 days she sees me crying about this and that is also bad... but I am so frustrated that I dont know a reason as to why she is doing this so to be able to help her... any suggestions or success stories are greatly appreciated..
Doctor is starting her on detrusitol today, anyone else tried it?
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Avatar universal
Remind her to go to the bathroom avry 15 minuets and let her amity her bladder all the way and if it doesn't help try to talk to her about it ask her y shy won't use the bathroom when shy he's to go maby shy doesn't feel when shy he's to go and when shy dos it might be to late it's not her folt please don't get med at her take her to a doctor dos shy wet at night to ? Dos shy smell bed Puneshe her let her walk around with wet panties it's ok shy doesn't have to take a shwher it feels good it's ok if shy pees in her panties








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Avatar universal
My son 5 year old was doing that too but instead of pee it was poop so every chance i got i would command him to go number 1 and 2 wherever we went every 30-40 mins would always tell me i dont have to go , but once he sat down it kicked in and if he dint it dint until he kinda got it and  i dint have to say it no more he went by himself
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Avatar universal
I have been visiting this site hoping to find help over the past year.  My daughter, now 9, has finally started using the toilet on her own.  So happy!  

She potty trained (daytime) at 18 months, but when she started pre-school she began ignoring her body's signals.  She didn't want to break the teacher's rules about getting up and using the toilet during the lesson.  Unfortunately, she lacked the ability to know when were appropriate times to go, so she chose to wait.  From then up until about 6 months ago, she would have wetting accidents at school, friends' houses, grandparents' houses, in the car, etc. and most of the time claim to not even know they happened!  Her body was giving signals (she would walk around all hunched over or "dancing") but she insisted she did not need to use the toilet.  It became a constant battle that I knew was not benefitting anyone.

The pediatrician gave her tests including UTI (negative) and ultrasound to check her bladder size (above normal for her age), and encouraged us to work on maintaining regular bowel movements, thinking that constipation may have been the culprit.

I have finally made progress with her through the Enuresis Treatment Center.  They helped my son with his bedwetting, but I waited to call because I thought she needed to be dry in the day to start nighttime training.  Not at all!  The two are totally related and the treatment for nighttime helps with daytime wetting, too.  It's an expensive option, but I am so happy to pay for it because we're all doing so much better!

The main expense comes from working with a professional counselor once every other week.  My daughter has physical therapy for her bladder in the form of kegels and an exercise where she drinks a measured amount of water, then practices holding her urge, and finally measures the output.  The second exercise alone has taught her to pay more attention to her body.  Nighttime wetting is decreasing, too.  She no longer wears Pull-ups to bed and if she does have an accident (thanks to a sensor that rings) she only has a small wet.

The training took about 12 mos for my son, so I'm looking toward the finish line I never thought I'd see! I hope this gives some of you an alternative to look into instead of medications or just trying to "wait until they grow out of it."
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1 Comments
Your comment really helped me in my situation with my daughter. O find myself getting upset about the accidents she's having, then I have to tell myself maybe its something medical. We have been dealing with this issue since before school.
189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
   Thank you that should be helpful!
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Avatar universal
If you read our story, I think what my conclusion was that an underveloped bladder can be hard to diagnose. What the urologist told us was basically that her bladder looked smaller than average for her age and that was the only physical evidence to go by.

But if not for that, we wouldn't have tried the Oxytrol and wouldn't have solved the issue.

But at 8, it may be worth trying to find a clinic that does bladder training. Just be careful not to put too much of the responsibility to make this work onto your son. Whatever the reason, it is highly unlikely that he can consciously control this. So treat it like you would treat any other physical impairment and you are far more likely to gain his full cooperation with whatever strategy you choose.

We also used a bedwetting alarm for a while and that was quite an interesting experience. It worked really well for a while too, until her dad put too much pressure on her because he apparently was fed up washing sheets. But when it worked, it did demonstrate that you can train your subconscious brain up to a point.
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
Are his problems more at school? Or home?  Any particular time of the day?  Does he wet his bed?
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Avatar universal
Same problem here with 8 year old son.  Wish to hear from parents who have this history behind them, i.e. their boy/girl has no longer any problem. How was it resolved in the end? Boy in question here has been determined as perfectly normal in all functions and bodily makeup. No bullying, lots of friends, does well at school, but does have lazy streak. Also claims not to notice.
In addition to Oxytrol patch advice I would be very grateful to hear how others finally managed.  Many thanks in advance.
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8590589 tn?1398849474
I agree with sandman!
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
   That has got to be the worse advice I have ever heard.  What if the problem is caused my a medical problem.  How is holding up a sign going to cure that?  What is if it is caused by ADHD or an abuse problem, how is holding up a sign going to help?  
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Avatar universal
make her hold a sign in the street every time saying i pee my pants

I guarantee it will stop soon
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Avatar universal
My advice is to shop around for a doctor that will prescribe Oxytrol patches. We ended up going to a urologist, but the paediatrician or maybe even a GP would be able go prescribe it too. Don't put up with doctors telling you that they cannot find a physical cause or that she will grow out if it. Just smile politely and immediately book an appointment with another doctor!  Not feeling when you have to go is not normal and is not psychological.

After the Oxytrol have worked for a while, it is advised to let the child do 'bladder' training. Most incontinence clinics and similar will be able to help with that. But I strongly advice you don't yet go that route until you have seen some results from medication. I made that mistake with my daughter and it put ask the reponsibilty for solving the problem back on her and was very damaging for her self esteem and confidence when it didn't work. The urologist told me that kids under 7 are too young for bladder training and also that you shouldn't do it if the bladder is likely to be 'irritated',  which is apparently what happens with this condition without treatment.

Good luck. I know what it's like and am very relieved it's now behind us.
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Avatar universal
I too have a daughter 8yrs who pees in her pants and not even know it.  When asked, will either deny or my body did not tell me I had to go.  I'm at my "wits end", all her accidents happen at school and at home.  Were you able to find a solution for your daughter?
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Avatar universal
I do not believe that this is not a medical problem. The most likely reason why she seems to not care is because if she would allow her to feel embarrassed each time it happened, she would be an emotional wreck by now. It is self preservation.

An under-developed bladder is very common in kids. There isn't much to show for it. Usually the only give away is that the bladder appears small for the child's age.

And not all medication was created equal. We tried Ditropan with no noticeable effect. But when we switched to Oxytrol patches, the effect was immediate. My daughter used them for about 6 months and after that she stayed mostly dry, except for at night. We started using a bedwetting alarm for that, but that's another story.

We were advised by a urologist to see an incontinence specialist regarding bladder training too, but after the Oxytrol course there was no need for that anymore. It is vital that you allow the bladder to "calm down" for a while after starting Oxytrol before you do anything else. And it is very important that your child knows that you accept it is beyond her control. That is the first step in gaining her cooperation to take steps towards treating it. She needs your trust and help.
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Avatar universal
I have a 7 year old girl who will literally go through 6-8 panties a day. We put her on a fluid regiment and by her drinking more she will feel the larger amount of fluid and won't want to pee all over herself and everything else. So far we have seen a very positive reaction. We are down to a change here or there if we forget to keep her drinking. She does get irritable with our constant reminders but 1,2,3, is good for that. Hopefully one of the answers below will help. Good Luck God knows it is a pain on their *** if they don't change.-My bad attempt at humor.


Treatment for daytime wetting that is not caused by another medical condition may include:

•Medicine. Oxybutynin (Ditropan) may be used to treat daytime wetting in children and adults. It helps control the bladder muscle that releases urine. See the Medications section of the topic Bed-Wetting for more information.

•Surgery. If the child has daytime wetting that is caused by birth defects within the urinary system, surgery to correct the defect may be needed. But sometimes the surgery does not make the accidental wetting stop.

•Counseling. Sessions with a counselor may be helpful for the child who has accidental wetting that is caused by emotional stress. Counseling may involve psychotherapy or hypnosis (hypnotherapy). The goal is to reduce or help manage the stress or to prevent stress.

Home treatment

Home treatment may be all that is needed to improve daytime accidental wetting, especially if the wetting is not due to any medical condition or stress. Try the following:
•Encourage your child to go to the bathroom whenever the urge happens.
•Reward your child for being dry. You may use hugs, stickers, or special treats as rewards.
•Teach your child special exercises to control the bladder muscle that releases urine. See exercises to help a child gain bladder control and bladder-stretching exercises.
•Don't make your child wear a diaper. Wearing a diaper may make him or her feel babyish. Also, it may be hard for a child to get the diaper off when using the toilet. Wearing disposable underwear, such as Pull-Ups, may be helpful. But it may also make the problem last longer because the child may have less motivation to learn bladder control.

If your child delays going to the bathroom and holds on to urine until he or she loses control and wets, try the following:
•Encourage your child to use the toilet when you notice signs that he or she may need to go, such as squatting, squirming, crossing the legs, or standing very still.
•Offer more liquids to drink. Drinking more liquids will increase the amount of urine in the bladder, causing your child to need to go to the bathroom more often.
•Have your child go to the bathroom every hour during the day.
•Encourage your child to take extra time on the toilet so that he or she will be more likely to empty the bladder.


Let me know!!
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Avatar universal
Wow. I started this google search thinking that there would probably be no one out there that had to deal with a child like mine. I'm so relieved and devastated at the same time to hear so many others are going through the same thing and I've read from the beginning of the thread to 2009 and no one really seems to know what causes it or how to fix it. A little about my story. My daughter is turning 9 on Thursday. This should be a happy time but it's not. I'm so fed up with the multiple daily wetting. I've literally done everything. You can ask my dad who is a therapist I've done it all. I've tried encouragement, heart to hearts, punishment, potty charts, allowance, taking away tv, taking away toys, boxing up all her toys, having her do the laundry, buying toys/books, scheduled bathroom breaks, going to the doctor, going to the urologist, xrays, ultrasound, VCUG (insert catheter, insert camera through the cath and watch her pee...very painful), I've ignored it and explained it to her, prayed,and of course the miralax (got up to 3 capfuls 2x daily), I've even tried to embarrass her out of it and NOTHING! Nothing has changed. She doesn't know why she does it. She doesn't care that she does it. And in the last four years that it has happened there has only been 1 time she showed she was upset and embarrassed about it. That was last week. Since last week the wetting has hit its all time high. Some say it's stress. She's a kid in the summer. Her biggest stress is choosing which tv channel to watch or what toy to play with. I've heard some say they are single parents and so am I (the father left before she was born and never came back). So maybe that's it but not everyone on here is single parents. So I'm begging to have someone please hit REPLY and give me the key, the golden ticket, the answer to make her stop. I thought that it was a temporary problem and it's been four years. Potty training as a toddler was easy. This has not been. There's actually been a couple of times where she went to the bathroom on time and before she made it to the toilet she peed her pants cause she stopped to pet the cat or check herself out in the mirror. Really?! Thanks for the help in advance!!
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1 Comments
Omg exactly the same story with my 6 year old.. to the letter... hang in there. We are starting detrusitol today. I will let you know if its any help if you havent tried it already... I avoided medicating my child but it is getting so embarassing for her especially at school. She told me yesterday she went alone in the bathroom to chamge and stayed there crying. Thats it ...I am trying this medicine.  
Avatar universal
It is common. I believe at age 6 one in 10 kids struggle with daytime wetting. That's 2 in every average class! The numbers go down with age but it still isn't that uncommon for it to continue till age 12.

If your doctor says it isn't a medical issue, see another doctor. Find one that will prescribe Oxytrol patches or similar. Don't accept oral drugs, they are nowhere near as effective. The patches are super easy to use and kids don't find them much of a hassle at all. They worked for us, reducing the accidents from at least one or two a day to one every week or 2 weeks.

Our urologist recommended using them for a while and then to start my daughter on a bladder training regime after she turned 8. But we stopped the patches, after using them for about a year and she stayed dry. Still have the occasional accident when she can't get to a toilet easily, but nothing to worry about really.

Then we started using the bedwetting alarm recently - 6 months after we stopped the Oxytrol. This method is really mostly psychological so the child has to be motivated. But it is working quite well for us.
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Avatar universal
it is reassuring to know it is not just us going through this, tried lots with my nearly 7 year old daughter who seems to leak urine through the day, not a full pee so that her trousers are wet etc usually but very strong smelling damp knickers at the end of the day. just been looking for advice, took her to the doctors who thought she was fine and will grow out of it, she does get thrush often and I often suspect urine infections because of how strong dmelling her urine is and that her skin is often burnt by leaked urine. just been given cream to soothe these issues. Have been told we can get a mat with an alarm to help her realise when she has peed at night as dr believes it is just that she is a deep sleeper that she wets at night and this might help establish a routinem will let you know if it helps but dont see how it will benefit during the day, we have also been told to get her to ;double void' so she goes to the toilet then goes again after 5 minutes to make sure she fully emptied as may stop when desperate urge has gone and rush off without waiting til fully finished, hard to make sure she has sat on for long enough, though I ask her to sit on the loo when she has finished and think of a chorus of a song before standing up and wiping. hope these things are helping but damp knickers still a regular occurance. As for poop accidents, she never has these but my cousin who i was close to growing up did, her mum tried everything, once even losing it and chasing hitting her with a carrier bag full of tins because she had done it for the second time that day, Sometimes we could tell she needed to go because of the way she held herself but either she wouldnt, or sometimes she would and her mum would make her sit there for half an hour crying, then she would still have an accident later. her mum made her stay on there for hours sometimes because she wanted to be able to praise her for going on the toilet and wondered if it was a phobia and tried to break it. anyway it turns out that all the rewards and punishment, sticks of liqourice and beatings in the world wouldnt have helped because it finally got taken seriously by the doctors when she was at high school (her mum had taken her regularly about it up to then but was told no problem or mildly constipated, hence the liquorice) and it turned out that she needed an operation which stretched her anus, it had been really hard for her to go and extremely painful up to then but she hadnt been able to know that that wasnt the same for everyone because it had always been that way, so because it was painful and hard to get it out she had to wait for her body to force it out, the pain caused the stance that made us know she needed to go but even then she hadnt had control over when it came, after a small operation and 3 days in hospital her life was changed, she went from nervous girl to confident adult. Her mum felt awful about what she had put her through, but then she didnt know the problem and didnt want her stinky dirty and bullied and couldnt understand why she couldnt control it and blamed her own parenting for it happening. Because of this I dont want to punish my daughter or make it a huge issue if she really cant help it but I am keen to know if there are real causes for this leaking and to do what I can to solve it for her.
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Avatar universal
This sounds just like my daughter....Has the situation improved...please give me some hope, because I am at a loss and feel hopeless
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Avatar universal
To everybody on here:  When I was 8 years old, I started wetting my pants in school.  I have no idea why I did it, but other children in my class started to too.  My mom had a feeling it was because our teachers started asking us to "hold it" until they were finished teaching a lesson, and then let us go only during our lunch, recess, or after they were done talking.  We also had only two hall passes (one girl, and one boy) were only aloud out at one time.  This was not the reason why I was doing it, but I'm not sure about the other students in my class.  I don't know how many others were having the same problem.  My mom had taken me to the doctor, but I don't think anything came of it.  I really highly recommend taking your children to counseling/psychologist (not for medications, but to find out if something else is going on).  Your child could be going through something else you are completely unaware of.  I continued to have this problem throughout elementary, and into middle school.  I'm not sure exactly when it stopped, but I know sometimes I still have problems.  I would only have the issue if I was at school, or in a public setting (including day trips with my family, or while I was away for a full week at summer camp). Once I reached middle school, it stopped happening at school, but it would happen other times, like summer camp. Since then I find I only have issues when I am in a situation where I can't stop what I'm doing for one reason or another.  I used to work as a veterinary nurse at an emergency hospital.  We would have long shifts (12 hours) that would end up extending into over time (up to 16 hours some days), it was extremely busy, stressful, and we were never given lunch breaks, or even coffee breaks.  There were times I ended up wearing a diaper to work.  I have since left that job, for more reasons than one, and I am going to therapy (age 27). I never had a problem pooping my pants, only urinating. I haven't had a problem since I left that job, and started therapy.  I really wish I had done this a lot sooner.  My mom never punished me for it, but I knew she would get angry about it.  I really don't believe punishing a child for doing something like this is effective way of managing this at all.  I think it is embarrassing enough that it is happening as it is.  Clearly this is something your child doesn't want to happen.  You, and your child, just have to find out why.  I don't believe this is something that is normal, in any case, with a child of 8 years or older.  Maybe it is more common in younger children, I don't know.  Either way, there is a reason why this is happening, and if your pediatrician can't find anything medically wrong, then I would highly recommend seeing a child therapist.  
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Avatar universal
Hi!!! I just wanted to tell you foremost I definitely feel what you are going through to the T!! We are going through the same thing with our 10 year old daughter. The Dr. said there is nothing wrong with her and it feels like the more praise and redirection I do she gets more careless. She is my stepdaughter and I maybe thought that she did this because of being traumatized in her past. She was given up by her mother and also sexually abused by the boyfriend. She went through foster care before she came into the care of my husband her father. Since then she manipulates to get her way, lies, accuses people of touching her more often. She also sleep walks, and bed wets as well as during the day. She even has bowels and walks around like nothing. It has been a journey, but we haven't given up. I have high hopes that she will come around, sometimes I just don't know where to start. I do pray for you child as well, thank you for letting me know that I am not the only one. God Bless You!!
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Avatar universal
I am so glad I decided to google this. I am dealing with many of the same issues. My son will be 8 this year.  This has gone on for about 4 years now. He does not wet during the night time. Ironically, many nights he gets up to go to the bathroom. I tried taking things away, threatening pull-ups, which I was about to go buy tomorrow. He has seen doctors over the years.  He had a sonogram last week. Nothing appears to be wrong. His pediatrician still recommended taking him to urinologist.  I am angry and sad all at the same time. I wash clothes daily. He just started hiding underwear.  I found three pair behind his bed and I was so upset that it has come to this point. Some have suggested counseling. He claims that he can't tell that he has to use the bathroom until he has to go really bad. On the weekend, he once used the bathroom (b/c I sent him) 3x within 1 hour. I will definitely pray for all of you.  I just don't want him to get to the point where he gets teased. We have had some changes in our lives. I am not oppose to seeing a counselor. I don't know. I am off in the summers so, I will be home with him and hopefully can really focus on this. Good luck to all you in the struggle!
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Avatar universal
Wow.. it is good to know that we are not alone.  Same symptoms as most everyone.. She is 8, she also suffers from constipation, she also pees her pants at school and at night and does not seem to care. She cannot offer a reason when asked why.  She also does it more when she is doing something she does not want to stop doing. We also took her to the urologist.  NO problem with her bladder (as opposed to what some folks have posted here regarding underdeveloped bladder) and the urologist blamed it on the constipation.  For a while, I sent her to school with pull-ups, but she begged me not to send her with pull ups because kids did see them and started making fun of them.  She is also starting to get teased because she is wetting herself.  She was doing well for a while, at least during the day (we would still have to have her wear diapers at night), when she was taking Miralax.  I mean, her panties would still smell like pee, but at least she would not get completely wet to the point she would need to change.  This lasted for about 3 to 4 months, but a couple of weeks ago, my wife stopped giving her Miralax to see if she would be ok, but she isn't.  She started peeing again. She is back to taking Miralax and I am hoping she gets back to not peeing at least during the day.  I also read what is in the link from webmd that someone posted: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/enuresis .   This is also very interested because it says that it is hereditary. My wife had that problem and through Elementary school and even until 8th grade and just like webmd says it typically happens, she just grew out of it.  My wife says that the reason she used to wet her pants is plain and simple -- SHe just did not want to go to the bathroom out of laziness.. pure and simple..  I guess all we can do  is deal with it until they grow out of it.  I just hope the teasing at school does not cause here other problems.  
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