Aa
My 9 year old son does not care about anything...
First off... I have been posting on this site since my soon entered elementary school. I feel like nothing has changed.
here is the link to the previous post
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/What-do-I-do-with-my-5year-old/show/1066427#post_6161126
My son has seen 3 psychiatrist, a neuro phyce, a school phyce, school social workers, consolers, mentors, and been going to a therapist since he was 4. He is angry, sneaky, rude, dishonest, but very smart and charming,
He has had a preliminary diagnosis including all of the following ODD, OCD, ADHD, Bi-Polar, Sensitivity Disorder, depression and anxiety. All being summed up under ADD and A mood Disorder. The school diagnosed him with "Aspergers Likely"??? Still trying to figure that out.
He is burning everyone out. His mother and I have divorced not say he was the cause but the stress in our household did not help.
I have custody and I am trying to establish a normal life for us. I kinda wrote off last year after the divorce and this year I prepared him for school encouraged him got him physced for it.
I had a tutor to help him after school. Gave him everything he needed to start off well.
But now it's clear after a teacher meeting today nothing has changed and ADD medicine is not helping other than seemingly making him very agitated with everything and every one.
He has burned out everyone around him that have been trying so hard to help him.
Everyone wants to help because he so smart and charming but then he can be so rude. He has just about chased off my girlfriend. I am not sure if our relationship will last directly because of him.
She can't stand the rudeness and the lying and his oddest behaviors.
He goes out of his way to disobey, covers it up by trying to lie .. poorly not idea that his lies are so poor there is not even a reason to do it. He lies ever when he was not going to get into trouble. He hides his home work hates doing work period. He's driving his teachers batty because he's so smart and he is wasting the classes and the teachers time
the teachers all say he just does not care. No consequence means enough for him to alter his behavior.
he is always a lizard brain or dog after a bone.... he has to have what he wants and he has flat out said stuff like ... I am going to keep asking until you do what I want.... he has no concept of how pissed off he makes people.
he is being isolated by his behavior not really making good friends in school schoolmates thinks he "special" and needs help. Teachers load his back pack and he takes items out. Throws teacher communication and behavior reports away so I wont see them.
erases homework from his agenda so we wont see it. blames everyone else but himself.
If you read the link above from the previous thread you will see nothing has changed he has just gotten more bold more rude. Loves being shocking by cursing.
we have tried concerta, stratera, focalin, prozac, anti-phycotics, anti-seizer drugs and a host of other things. I want to say that I think he was vyvanse too but I am not sure
Where should I go now what should I try. I am about to lose my support group and my girlfriend over this behavior because people are exhausted. I am the only one left to look out for him with the energy and desire to love him and help him.
here is the link to the previous post
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/What-do-I-do-with-my-5year-old/show/1066427#post_6161126
My son has seen 3 psychiatrist, a neuro phyce, a school phyce, school social workers, consolers, mentors, and been going to a therapist since he was 4. He is angry, sneaky, rude, dishonest, but very smart and charming,
He has had a preliminary diagnosis including all of the following ODD, OCD, ADHD, Bi-Polar, Sensitivity Disorder, depression and anxiety. All being summed up under ADD and A mood Disorder. The school diagnosed him with "Aspergers Likely"??? Still trying to figure that out.
He is burning everyone out. His mother and I have divorced not say he was the cause but the stress in our household did not help.
I have custody and I am trying to establish a normal life for us. I kinda wrote off last year after the divorce and this year I prepared him for school encouraged him got him physced for it.
I had a tutor to help him after school. Gave him everything he needed to start off well.
But now it's clear after a teacher meeting today nothing has changed and ADD medicine is not helping other than seemingly making him very agitated with everything and every one.
He has burned out everyone around him that have been trying so hard to help him.
Everyone wants to help because he so smart and charming but then he can be so rude. He has just about chased off my girlfriend. I am not sure if our relationship will last directly because of him.
She can't stand the rudeness and the lying and his oddest behaviors.
He goes out of his way to disobey, covers it up by trying to lie .. poorly not idea that his lies are so poor there is not even a reason to do it. He lies ever when he was not going to get into trouble. He hides his home work hates doing work period. He's driving his teachers batty because he's so smart and he is wasting the classes and the teachers time
the teachers all say he just does not care. No consequence means enough for him to alter his behavior.
he is always a lizard brain or dog after a bone.... he has to have what he wants and he has flat out said stuff like ... I am going to keep asking until you do what I want.... he has no concept of how pissed off he makes people.
he is being isolated by his behavior not really making good friends in school schoolmates thinks he "special" and needs help. Teachers load his back pack and he takes items out. Throws teacher communication and behavior reports away so I wont see them.
erases homework from his agenda so we wont see it. blames everyone else but himself.
If you read the link above from the previous thread you will see nothing has changed he has just gotten more bold more rude. Loves being shocking by cursing.
we have tried concerta, stratera, focalin, prozac, anti-phycotics, anti-seizer drugs and a host of other things. I want to say that I think he was vyvanse too but I am not sure
Where should I go now what should I try. I am about to lose my support group and my girlfriend over this behavior because people are exhausted. I am the only one left to look out for him with the energy and desire to love him and help him.
Are all of his problems related to school?
Are his problems at school affecting his home life?
Are his problems at school affecting his home life?
yes he has for the last 3 years. He is pulled out in writing and math into a small class size and they are really frustrated with him.
he was on stratera and concerta and they gradually increased the doses for about 6 months but at the highest does he got really agitated
they switched to focalin and prozac he seemed fine on 10mg for a while then they went to 20mg and get got extra rude and agitated then went back to 15mg and i talked to teachers and his after school tutor yesterday and he is not doing his work and refuses to do it and he is a distraction to his class
the one good think is his epic meltdowns have stopped but he does not care about any consequence and will ignore every request you have to helicopter him when he is out of line of sight he gets sneaky and does what he wants
fyi i get counseling still when his behavior gets extreme
they switched to focalin and prozac he seemed fine on 10mg for a while then they went to 20mg and get got extra rude and agitated then went back to 15mg and i talked to teachers and his after school tutor yesterday and he is not doing his work and refuses to do it and he is a distraction to his class
the one good think is his epic meltdowns have stopped but he does not care about any consequence and will ignore every request you have to helicopter him when he is out of line of sight he gets sneaky and does what he wants
fyi i get counseling still when his behavior gets extreme
COMMUNITY LEADER
Man, I feel for you. With all the help that you have gotten, this problem should have been solved or at least have gotten better. Especially with the "3 psychiatrist, a neuro phyce,". The others probably don't have the experience.
He does exhibit all the characteristics of a bright kid with ADHD. His behaviors are really pretty common. Throw into that mix that he is the youngest kid (probably) in his class, and now has a 5(or 6?) year old who he has to compete for attention with - and that increases the whole situation. And if he is now in 4th grade, the other kids are beginning to pull away maturity wise and his innate intelligence is no longer pulling him through.
What bothers me is the different pill changes. Usually, a doctor will start with one med and then slowly increase it until benefits are found. If that doesn't happen, then another med will be tried as they each are a little different. Has he been with one doctor long enough so that a complete effort to follow up has been made? What kind of a doc are you seeing now?
From reading your other posts, I can see that your life has really been in a turmoil for awhile (and thus his). That makes it even harder to deal with the situation. And I am sure make it more difficult to deal with him the last year or two. Even in a normally functioning family, a smart ADHD child is very tough to deal with.
If your new girl friend can understand what he may be going though, she may be able to understand him better and where he is coming from. This site is pretty good at explaining ADHD and what it does. http://www.help4adhd.org/en/about/what/WWK1
So what med(?) is he now on and how much of it? How long has he been on that medication?
He should be on a 504 plan in his school if not an IEP. Is he.
The book, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley, has a great section on helping kids in school (504's, etc.). Plus, its probably the best book I have seen on dealing with all the problems of ADHD. Its only about 10 bucks on Amazon.
Finally, you might want to read a book called, "Raising Lions", by Joe Newman. If you go to his web site and subscribe to his newsletter you can get $3.00 off the bookI(if that offer is still good).
The site is http://raisinglions.com/
There really is a lot that you can do to help a child with ADHD and I would hope that you have gotten this information over the last 4 years. But it sounds like it might have been difficult to follow through, even if the psycs had given this info to you. The whole medication thing does have me baffled. If they had done it right, you should have seen results. Even bad results are very important in determining what is going on. And by results, I mean things like - did they work for awhile during the day? Did they make him hyper? Did they make him Tired? All of these things your psych should have been discussing with you to figure out what is going on.
Hope some of this helps. Let me know about the meds,
He does exhibit all the characteristics of a bright kid with ADHD. His behaviors are really pretty common. Throw into that mix that he is the youngest kid (probably) in his class, and now has a 5(or 6?) year old who he has to compete for attention with - and that increases the whole situation. And if he is now in 4th grade, the other kids are beginning to pull away maturity wise and his innate intelligence is no longer pulling him through.
What bothers me is the different pill changes. Usually, a doctor will start with one med and then slowly increase it until benefits are found. If that doesn't happen, then another med will be tried as they each are a little different. Has he been with one doctor long enough so that a complete effort to follow up has been made? What kind of a doc are you seeing now?
From reading your other posts, I can see that your life has really been in a turmoil for awhile (and thus his). That makes it even harder to deal with the situation. And I am sure make it more difficult to deal with him the last year or two. Even in a normally functioning family, a smart ADHD child is very tough to deal with.
If your new girl friend can understand what he may be going though, she may be able to understand him better and where he is coming from. This site is pretty good at explaining ADHD and what it does. http://www.help4adhd.org/en/about/what/WWK1
So what med(?) is he now on and how much of it? How long has he been on that medication?
He should be on a 504 plan in his school if not an IEP. Is he.
The book, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley, has a great section on helping kids in school (504's, etc.). Plus, its probably the best book I have seen on dealing with all the problems of ADHD. Its only about 10 bucks on Amazon.
Finally, you might want to read a book called, "Raising Lions", by Joe Newman. If you go to his web site and subscribe to his newsletter you can get $3.00 off the bookI(if that offer is still good).
The site is http://raisinglions.com/
There really is a lot that you can do to help a child with ADHD and I would hope that you have gotten this information over the last 4 years. But it sounds like it might have been difficult to follow through, even if the psycs had given this info to you. The whole medication thing does have me baffled. If they had done it right, you should have seen results. Even bad results are very important in determining what is going on. And by results, I mean things like - did they work for awhile during the day? Did they make him hyper? Did they make him Tired? All of these things your psych should have been discussing with you to figure out what is going on.
Hope some of this helps. Let me know about the meds,
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