Child Behavior Community
14.3k Members
Avatar universal

My 9yrold stepdaughter has been seeing herself and worse...advice please?

My SD has been peeing her pants lately. She says it's because she doesn't want to stop what she's doing and miss something. Despite us reassuring her over and over she keeps doing it. Today, my fiance got a call from her mom, saying that she caught her seeing on her hand and touching her butthole. My SD said she was just helping the poop come out but after everything that's happened we are reluctant to believe her. We just need some advice.. Her therapist isn't helping at all. Any parents experience anything like this?
2 Responses
189897 tn?1441126518
It would be very helpful to know what she is in therapy for.  Is it adhd?.  Also does this happen more often at certain times of the day?  Only at home? School?
It's a really messed up story, but her mom put her in therapy because one day when her stepdad was sleeping, he said that my SD came into the bedroom and climbed on top of him and she started humping him. We talked to SD and she said that she just climbed on top of him to wake him up. We had our parenting plan changed so that She's not allowed to be alone with Stepdad anymore. We have no idea what the real story is.
She is not adhd that we know of, though it would explain a lot.
She started wetting herself before the incident with stepdad, it started almost a year ago. It happens all day at her moms and our home. We started putting a timer on, every hour she has to go potty and I check her underwear and they are almost always wet within an hour. I've been in her life since she was 8 months old. She was potty trained at 3. This doesn't make sense.
It really would not make sense if it was not going on at school.   Is it?
It does sound like it might be a bladder or uti problem.  Thats a simple medical check and worth doing.

I asked about the adhd possibility because I am also the CL on the adhd forum, and the comment by her that, "she doesn't want to stop what she's doing and miss something." Is not unusual for a kid with adhd or add, but it certainly takes much more then that to know if its adhd.

So main questions would be - does this also happen at school?

And if I read it correctly, she is peeing literally every hour?  I would really have that medically checked out.
973741 tn?1342342773
Okay, truth.  This was me as a child.  And I still have rushing moments where I'm like 'whew, I made it' because I wait too long. I hated to take time out for it and always thought I had more time than I had.  Just keeping it real here.  ha.  I'm an adult woman now and all is well.  I do make it to the bathroom in time.  (while I am a bit scattered sometimes, I don't have add/adhd but am just an energetic girl. :>))  This sounds a bit more than something that simple though.

Agree that peeing every hour would be unusual.  She needs a physical.  At 9, she would not want to pee herself.  Emotionally speaking, kids are aware then and that's not too cool.  My son when he went to first grade, after a few years of being potty trained, digressed a bit.  He had a few accidents at school and wet at night.  I took him to the pediatrician. For him, it was determined emotional. He was in his first all day school experience with increased expectations.  He was stressed.  We worked to distress and relax him, he went to bed a half hour earlier to get extra sleep, and it was a brief period in time.  But his wetting was a response to stress.  AND he was mortified by it which is a normal reaction.  He was 7 at the time I think.

With the thought that maybe something inappropriate happened with her and there is a step dad in her life and weird circumstances surrounding that (whether something happened to her  with the step dad or another relative or she longs for her own dad to be in her life more??)-- therapy seems a good idea so am glad she is getting that.  If you don't like the therapist, find another.  There are good ones and bad ones.  

Good question though if this is happening at school or at home.  Perhaps not just a psychologist but involving a psychiatrist would be beneficial too.

But get the issue of urinating so often checked and make sure nothing medically is going on.  good luck

Have an Answer?
Top Children's Health Answerers
189897 tn?1441126518
San Pedro, CA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Is a gluten-free diet right for you?
We answer your top questions about the flu vaccine.
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
Healing home remedies for common ailments