First, I am SO sorry for what you and your family are going through. This must be incredibly stressful.
I don't have any solutions, but I think you're taking some really good steps. Have you tried breaking off all physical contact with your daughter for a period of weeks? I know that would be heartbreaking, but if you're not around, and she continues to make allegations, it will be clear that these events are fabrications of a toddler's imagination.
Also, I'd suggest having her examined by a pediatrician, in case something is going on with her vaginal area. Does she have regular contact with other adults, apart from you and your wife? Other children apart from her sister?
She's awfully young, but you may also try to find a counselor who specializes in young children. I have had experience with one, and she was very adept at identifying when my child was relating true events and when he was fabricating events. When my son was 6 years old, he accused a family member of physical assault (choking him), and I absolutely knew it hadn't happened. He eventually revealed to the counselor that he made it up, and he didn't know why. The counselor believed he was seeking attention, innocently, and of course had no concept that someone's life could be ruined.
I don't think you did anything, honestly. You sound like a very distraught dad. But it sounds like something is going on - it's really odd for a toddler to be talking about her vagina so much. I would definitely rule out a physical problem first, and then identify the cause.
I just wanted to second all that curfewX said. I agree that you sound like a sincere parent that wants the best for his child and put in a horrible circumstance. I also agree that I'd cut off the contact to see how long things go on and evaluate what other people are in her life. Something is creating the words she is using. She's so little to just come up with that. However, after the first time, it may have been reinforced to keep saying it.
I think I'd see the help of a professional and starting with her pediatrician and then going to a child psychologist from there would be prudent.
I'm really sorry you are dealing with this and yes, I do hope it gets better very soon.
First off, why does your daughter know to call that part a "giney"? You have to understand kids make stuff up too.
Not saying you should never pay attention and not listen to your daughter, but you need to throw into account children will be children, and daughters are known to be manipulators, even women have told me this.
My daughter at that age may have known head, arm, hand, leg, feet.
Sounds like someone is poisening her head with garbage. And you though I do not blame you in this day and age of men being demonized and labelled as sexual predators until proven otherwise, is taking extremes to prove himself not guilty.
Your wife should know you, trust you, and believe you. The fact that your daughter still complains about her "giney" being hurt after you left the home, that itself should have cleared you of any doubt.
Now who taught your daughter to call it a giney? Has your wife been putting crap into her head for no one to touch her there? She could have said, "even it is daddy, you need to say somthing". Is your wife a feminist?
Idk, this story just does not add up. To call child protection services is pretty extreme step instead of investigating this for yourselves, especially after you proved your daughter saids these things even not around yet somehow you are still the main suspect in the eyes of your wife.
It's possible she has a UTI and is identifying the pain it gives her as being in her vagina area. It is also very possible she is being touched by someone else, not a person in your immediate family, and she is not identifying that person because you and your wife and her sibling are safer to her to talk about than the real perpetrator. I, too, would be interested in how a 2.5 year old knows a word like "giney," and if you find out who taught it to her you might find a clue to who hurt her, if someone did. (Though I will say, at 2.5 years old, my son did know the word "ballsies," and nobody harmful taught it to him, it was just the term we used around the house when talking about that body part. I think he also knew the word "gine" even though obviously he didn't have a vagina. Don't know if he knew that one at age 2.5, though.)
What happened with the little boy who she called “kindy daddy”? And I would definitely take her to her pediatrician to rule out a uti or yeast infection. And if that came up normal take her to a child psychiatrist that specializes in sexual abuse.
Also you might want to consider a playmate of hers that may have said something similar to what she has said to u.
I'm a little taken aback by people Asking why a child this age has a name for her vagina. Why does she know the name for her eyes and ears? Because she's learning to name her body parts and that's one of them! Acting as if it's something she shouldn't know is a step back into the shame-based dark ages when females were taught (even in such subtle ways as this) to ignore, avoid, not-talk -about and ultimately feel shame about body parts that are in no way connected to sexuality at this stage of life- except to adults. To suggest that this is possibly because your wife has been "filling her head with crap" because she named her vagina along with the rest of her body parts is just beyond --well, let's say "enlightened." Beyond that I just wanted to share my experience - as a mother who has raised 3 children I can tell you they sometimes just say things for no apparent reason. One of my sons came home from my brother's house one day and said that my sister-in-law had burnt him with cigarettes. He had no marks, no burns, no bruises. He had a good time and wanted to go back the next day so it was absolutely 100% clear that no one had burnt him with cigarettes. We can only imagine that he may have been cautioned that a cigarette could burn him, that he should not get close to a lit cigarette- who knows? But clearly his imagination took it from there. The thing is at the age of 3 he was too young to plot a deceitful attack - too young to understand that saying such a thing could do HARM to my sister-in-law. To hm it was no different than saying, "The dog just read me a book. " i think you have to remember that a 2 1/2 year old is not capable of the kind of abstract, strategic thinking required to perpetrate a lie upon someone in order to do harm. While I 100% agree that any such reports must be carefully evaluated - in this case by her mother-- I also believe that once a loving mother is absolutely certain she trusts a father with whom she has a stable and well-established trust,a father who has a history of providing appropriate care, the absence of corroborating evidence and in fact evidence of ither similar fantastical stories- it is best to not allow the hurtful fantasy to gain traction by assisting in the development of a bigger story. As a mother, if I had those certainties I would treat it EXACTLY as I would the " dog just read a book to me" story because I know that it is very likely that if I don't add to the story with my reactions my child will have a new fantastical story tomorrow and I may never hear this one again. As a medical professional I agree that a health problem such as a UTI could be causing some discomfort- perhaps something she has never felt before and doesn't know how to describe. By age 2 1/2 most little girls have figured out that there is an opening down there and have put their own fingers inside. Before anyone passes out- ask yourself, "What percentage of girls this age have put a finger in their mouth? " Nose? Ear? None of us would gasp at the thought of a child putting her own finger in any of these places! But a finger in the vagina-- OMG!!!!! Even though to the child her ear and her vagina are equally asexual! Again, it's the ADULTS who make it sexual. BUT, back to my point-- if she's feeling pain and she knows a finger can go in there it isn't a huge stretch to connect the dots about how her "story" might be an attempt to describe it explain the discomfort. Keeping an eye out for further signs of a UTI was good advice. No doubt you are in a tough spot that no innocent parent wants to be in. Here's hoping this has all resolved positively ÿ now.
Thank you for being a good father, I applaud you and your daughter’s mother for listening, understanding, and protecting your daughter. It seems to have worked out well in the end. Who cares if your daughter calls her pee pee a “giney’, this is not vulgar.
Hey I'm just wondering how is everything going now. Has everything been sorted out? I think you've been handling this situation very maturely.