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My fiances 8 year old is out of control

His 8 year old hangs on top of both of us, complains constantly for hours on end, straddles her dad, pulls his hair, shoves her fingers in his face and if he asks her to stop she will loudly say "WHHHYYYY?". We were watching football and she literally kicked our friend off of the couch and was shoving her feet in his face preventing him from sitting down, when I told her to stop she told me "You're not my mom I don't have to listen to you". I am 4 and a half months pregnant and she climbs on top of me like a jungle gym, my boyfriend told me all kids are like this so how do I plan to be a mother? If she doesn't get exactly what she wants she tells her grandmother and says that her dad is starving her or boring her. I don't know what to do, I am so stressed out with her around, and I am worried that my child will be like this too.
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973741 tn?1342342773
This is always hard. Hard on you.  Hard on the 8 year old.  Hard on her dad.  You have to build trust with her.  Let dad do all discipline and you work with him on boundaries behind closed doors. It's reasonable to not put feet in people's faces or hang on your pregnant belly.  How she treats your fiance is his business so don't say a word about that.  But you can have him enforce an appropriate boundaries with others (you and guests in the home and your future baby).  Lovingly.  She's a kid and who knows what kind of boundaries she's been given before.  If your concern can be explained as concern for her to know how to act verses she drives you nuts and is a pain, it will go over better.  Then plan something nice for her. Giver her time with her dad alone (you go do something else for a bit).  This all helps her WANT to be part of the family and get along with you.  It's a fine dance. Making her feel loved, welcome, part of things.  By her dad first. Then by you.  And the more she feels that, the better her behavior should become while her DAD setting boundaries until she trusts you.  Does that make sense?
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Did you have a chance to talk to your fiance about how to manage this? I am here to chat about it if you need to.
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