My five year old refuses to poo in the toilet

[Momofdom1]

My son is five, he refuses to poo in the toilet.
We went to a specialist who said hes pooping himself because he is constipated, so we worked hard on "cleaning him out". The biggest problem we face is: he doesn't care. He doesn't want to sit on the toilet, not even for one minute. We have brought toys in, movies, leapfrog's, sat in there with him. He wont even sit down most of the time.
We have tried rewards, taking things away, followed what the doctors have told us (which, with having seen 3 different doctors and specialist is a lot of different things.) He pees in the toilet, never has accidents with peeing. He went to bed one night in underwear and didn't pee, and still hasn't, unless it's in a toilet.
We ask him to sit on the toilet, or if he needs to be cleaned up/changed and he starts yelling and screaming, sometimes kicking and hitting.
He gets picked on at school about it and doesn't care. He will be in grade one in september and I am at my wits end. I'm so frustrated.
We have had family and children services come to us investigating abuse in the home, which there is none, because of this soiling issue.
Taking things away, suggesting we can do something he wants to do, and buying new toys does nothing to persuade him. He will fight until he is blue in the face.

[Sandman2]

    Also check out this post from AnnieBrook - http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/need-help/show/2074350#post_9827614

[Sandman2]

          The thing is - if you are constipated, it really hurts to go.  And at this age, this is what kids remember.  Or as this article states: "For some children, however, the experience of pain on evacuation becomes a powerful reason to avoid having a movement the next time the urge is felt. Withholding behavior is quite typical and parents should recognize it for what it is: an attempt to keep the stool in so as to avoid pain. The child is not trying his best to push hard and have a movement. Quite the opposite: the stiffening, sweating, turning red, and holding on to furniture are the outward expressions of the concentration needed to squeeze the pelvic muscles and the external sphincter in order to force the stool back up and relieve the sensation of urgency. Often this withholding takes the form of a peculiar posturing (sometimes in a corner), standing on the tiptoes, or wiggling around.

Avoiding the development of chronic constipation is important since it will prevent the overstretching of rectum and the loss of internal sphincter control, which can eventually result in involuntary seepage of stool into the underpants (encopresis)."  from - http://www.aboutkidsgi.org/site/lower-gi-disorders/childhood-defecation-disorders/constipation/
     And encopresis is a real problem because you do lose the internal sphincter control - and that may be part of what is also going on here.
     Take a look at this link.  It is written for a younger child to explain what is going on and how to deal with it.  It is written for kids 5 to 10.  And it is a classic.  It was written in the early 80's and I have yet to have found anything as good.   It can be printed out and read to him.
         the link is - http://www.dulwichcentre.com.au/beating-sneaky-poo-1.pdf
          I hope this helps.  Let me know if it does.  Good luck!

[SteveRL]

The answer I gave in another thread, I was so severely stomped on I was afraid I would get banned from this site. I said something like putting him back in diapers. My mom did that with me and it worked.  But now I'm thinking of something else now too. Your son might not like the toilet seat being cold. I can't hack that anymore myself and I put toilet paper on the seat and I don't feel the cold seat then. Try that and see if that's the reason he won't sit on it.  And how about seeing if he will stay sitting on a potty chair. Have you tried that?