My six year old son exposed himself to a tutor

[Lynne64]

My son told me that he exposed himself to the tutor. He said "you're not going to like me when I tell you this, you are going to be really mad at me" and then he told me he pulled down his pants and showed her his penis. When I asked him why he did this he said she was telling him what to do, and that it's really hard being the littlest with everyone telling him what to do. I told him in no uncertain terms this is unacceptable behavior. He has done it to me before, and I've always corrected him (he was being funny/silly in the times with me); now I told him an apology is needed and gave him a choice to do it in writing or in person, he chose the former and I will have him write a short note and hand it to her. He asked me not to tell his father about the incident, which I haven't (is this right?) Also, I praised him for telling me what he did, but made it clear it is unacceptable, and he is not to do it again. Do I have a future exposer on my hands or is this in the "normal" range for a 6 year old? Would it be jumping the gun to take him to a child psychologist re. this. It's very upsetting to me, and he seems quite ashamed. What can I do to help him not to do this again?

[gizellie]

I couldn't disagree more with the previous poster.  Firstly, you should tell his father.  If you start keeping secrets now it is going to set a percedent.  Besides, you and dad should be a team working together to help your child.
Secondly, this is at the wierd end of normal but normal just the same.  Little boys are fascinated by their bodies.  I am way more concerned that he is feeling shame than I am that he flashed a grown up.  However, I agree that he can't go around showing people his penis.  It could create a dangerous situation for him.
He said that he initiated this behavior because he feels like everyone tells him what to do all the time.  First, I would help him to find a better outlet for his frustrations.  Give him the tools to use his words to express his feelings and then he wont drop his pants.  

Secondly, if he feels like he never gets to be in charge of himself maybe it is time that you give him more responsibility.  Ask him what he wants to be in charge of.  Maybe it can be as simple as selecting his own outfit for school or choosing what is for dinner one night a week.  Play games where he gets to be in charge of everyone in the family like simon says or red light, green light, go on an adventure in the car and let him pick which way to turn for 5 or 10 minutes to see where you end up.  Empower him and I am almost certain he will keep his business in his pants, now and as an adult.

[ames67]

So is he upset because the tutor is telling him what to do, or did the tutor tell him to do it? It was a bit unclear to me. Seeking a child psychologist would not be jumping the gun. Better to get a handle on it now than to have the behavior get worse. My son is also showing some premature sexual behaviors that are really concerning me as well. Just be sure to keep the lines of communication open so he continues to talk with you about it. Best wishes to you...