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My sons behaviour!

Please help me, I' ve had problems with my 12 year old son from the age of 18 months old, he was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed phenergan for his behaviour, this calmed him down and helped him to go to sleep which is what i had trouble getting him to do, the doctor stopped prescribing him this and his problems returned. Over the years weve just accepted that his behaviour is "just one of those things" and have tried to deal with each day as weve faced it, it has got to a point though now where me and my husband are at breaking point with him, he is on weekly report at school for his behaviour, he shows signs of a compulsive excessive disorder, he is obsessed with his food, his toys his football cards, pretty much anything that belongs to him, he has outbursts of violance, crying fits, its difficult for us to calm him down and there is no reasoning with him, its either his way or no way! He wants to know times of certain things and if the times arent stood by again he gets angry and abusive, weve got 4 other children and they dont show any signs of this, and we have all had to learn to deal to live with my son behaving like this, please help me, thanks!!
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Avatar universal
I don't know what kind of help you're looking for, exactly.  Does he get any kind of counseling to help him try to control symptoms?

You mentioned that he gets angry when things don't happen when they are supposed to.  That can be a big issue with ADHD.  Though it can be nearly impossible with 5 kids, you need to try very hard to stick to a schedule - he needs it.  When he asks about scheduling, be sure to let him know if something might conflict and cause a delay.  He depends heavily on absolutes and he probably sees things as black and white... which means when something doesn't happen at the time he knows it should, he believes it just won't happen.  That's where his anger comes from.  

His "obsession" with things that are his could be attributed to the chaos that naturally ensues with 5 kids.  The chaos overwhelms him.  He feels very protective of anything that he can have control over (his stuff) - and he feels more secure when he can control who touches it and when (even my ADHD husband won't let me touch his possessions at times.)  

It's also not a surprise that he is acting out more at this age - it's a more volatile age for any kid.  But the insecurity of puberty increases the insecurities that come with ADHD.  He's scared and is acting out, at least in part, because of that.  

You need to make him feel secure, let him have his own time and space, and give him as predictable of a schedule as possible.  Aside from that, he may find some relief in counseling.
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