My step parent section..

[here4theinfo]

So this is what I have, this space, my ideas, opinions,responses and questions aren't always perfect, but I just want to have this space to say THANK YOU to all of the "step parents". Being a child of divorce and a mother of divorce, I have had "step parents", my kids have had "step parents" and I have been a "step parent"..Its like a world that revolves around "step parents". I noticed awhile back on these boards there are easy ways to upset people. Being a "step parent" with any problem is one way. It can be any problem and the boards blow up and usually "turn" againest the "step parent". It can be from the smallest "how to get my step child to kiss me, to how do I disipline my step child", and before you know it, peoples replies become judgemental. I think it may just be a "group" of elders that had parents that were married forever that don't quite understand the whole "step parent" situation. Sometimes, being a "step parent" is not a choice, sometimes it is, whatever the "step parent" reason is, I think it is just wonderful that there is another person to love our children!!! Our society should be more approving of it because it is the REALITY, not badger the "step parent" for trying to do what a normally responsible/irresponsible biological parent should be doing. Which brings me to why I am leaving this post, if you find that you are a "step parent" frustrated by 'badgers" and you can not find a helpful answer, post your question here, for now, and I with what ever powers I have, will be an easy listener and hoping helpful answer. Yes, I know this is quite a strestch, but I guess Im tired of reading posts where "step parents" dont ever get an answer, and by the time they do, they usually are frustrated and dont post anymore replies. This forum is supposed to be helpful to everyone, and I feel I can be a helper, and I know there are others on here who are very helpful, so give it a try. I want to see what kind of things I can accomplish that are positive. Thank you so much for reading this! Have a nice day!!

[mom2-2ts]

I went to your website and tried, several times to read through it, but I do not have it in me right now.  A very good friend of mine lost her 3 month old son and we had the funeral the day before I found out I was pregnant with my daughter.  This is one of those things that I fear with every bit of my being.  Right now my son is at his bio mom's for the weekend, so I always have a huge sense of anxiety and worry while he is gone.  I will try again to read it at another time, but now is just not it.  My heart and prayers go out to your family.  I have a daughter with autism and when people tell me, God it must be so hard, I think, man could it be worse, I am blessed for all I have.  And I know that you are blessed in so many ways with what you do have, but that is a loss that no one should ever have to deal with.  What a beautiful tribute you have given him...I am sure that he is still with you and loving knowing that he is still so completely loved.

[momma-of-3g1b]

~ I saw the pictures and read about your families loss........ I am so very sorry for you all.

Your tribute to Jaiden is beautiful. Jaiden could'nt have had a more loving family, how blessed you  were to have each other.

Thank you for sharing and touching all of us, I cried and hugged my littlest one  but, when the rest of them come home there getting a BIG  LONG squeeze too.

[momma-of-3g1b]

I happen to think your DH is not supportive to you at all...does he believe you about the threats?

I understand being there for your children and not giving up on them no matter what the age however,  if SS has that much additude , is that violent and that violents is directed towards you ,he SHOULD NOT be in that house with you.....How very reckless of your husband to risk your safety. Your Dh could help him in other ways. ( IMO)  your Dh ( if he knows the threats are true) is only allowing and giving SS the message that its ok to treat a human like this and that its not important to show you (his wife) respect.

Why does SS have so much hatred towards you? Are you just a convenient outlet?

I guess it also sounds like you and DH have other issues..."Im not asking you,im telling you". thats a very aggressive thing to say.

Also you need to think of your safety first, that is YOUR home where you are supposed to feel safe and if you dont, then I say leave. Staying just doesnt seem worth it but, at this point it sounds like your DH has made up both your minds.

sorry this is happening.....good luck , stay safe and go with your intuition on this.

[here4theinfo]

That is a very scary situation. I would feel uncomfortable too. How long have you been married? Why is DH freaking about divorce, do you have other problems going on? Well, Ill say this, If you love him and think it is worth it to try and keep the relationship, then suggest counseling. However it sounds like hes the one fed up. The SS is 19, so if he threatens you in any way fashion or manor, you can call the cops and they might arrest him because hes an adult. That will cause problems with the DH but if hes not protecting you, you need to be able to protect yourself. He problaly thinks its funny that your scared, 19 year olds that are messed up like to mmake people feel that way when they have lost there own control. I know your scared, but try not to show it, walk around with your head high and tell him you donnt like his attitude when he gives you some.Wash his white clothes in hot water with a red shirt, and itll color his boxers pink, I dont know..lol.Hes being a bully, and you cant let him bully you, its not right. Is this weird behavior for DH? Could he be very stressed from the problems his son has? Maybe  u could suggest that you want to help him get help for SS,hey, if SS has to go to rehab, he wont be living with ou anymore. thats terrible to live in fear, if DH wont protect you and really wants to get out. Then maybe its your time for freedom!! good luck and let us know

[Furnace]

The mom has been in and out of rehab so many times that i think its useless for her by now. The father has not even tried. He thinks he is a functional tweeker. Whatever. We all know better. The girl has even expressed to me personally that she wishes her dad would stop using Meth. That's right, not just "drugs"...She KNOWS! She isn't a little kid anymore. I told her gramma what she told me, and she agrees that it's time for him to get his poop in a group, but I think as his mom she's kind of scared to but in. I can't do anything about what's between them you know? I agree, Gramma SHOULD get legal custody, and she'd like to, she just doesn't know how to go about doing it without making her son feel betrayed. Although I think that wouldn't matter so much if it were me, since he betrayed his own daughter as a father. I'll be seeing her this weekend and plan to bring up her lying. Not sure how it will go. I need to do it in a way that doesn't make her feel threatened so she will still feel like she can trust me. I don't want to corner her or make her feel embarrassed or shameful. I just want the old her back. Thanx for listening. I'm great full there are people out there like you who really care.

[RockRose]

I think getting a divorce is a really good idea.  He does sound dangerous,  but he's your husband's son and your husband feels compelled to help him out.

I would take him up on it.