Night Terrors or Terrible Twos

[mdale1031]

My 19 month old has recently refused to sleep at night. We have had the same night time routine since she was 4 months old; Bath, songs w/ rocking, then in the crib with soft music. For the last week she has gone down easily but has had what we thought were nightmares around 1 or 2 am each night and has cried until we put her back down.

Now, she has a raging fits when we put her in her crib for bed. Screams, cries, throws all her toys and blankets out of the crib. She has even gone so far as banging on her bedroom wall!

Is she now afraid to sleep or has she learned that when she screams at 2 am we come running?

[mdale1031]

thank you, everyone, for your posts. She finally scaled the crib rail to get out of her crib and landed face first on the floor. Scared the devil out of me! We have since converted her bed to a toddler bed. The last two nights we have tried to get her to sleep in it, but prefers the floor. So, I have put blankets on the floor and she has gone down ok. Not great, she still wants me in the room and still wakes up at 1 crying.

So - A) we will try to re-ferber and B) I think a snack before bed is a good idea. She is going through her fussy phase at dinner and hasn't been eating much.

Oh the joys of parenting! Thank goodness we only have one, so far!

Thanks again!

[mammo]

Night terrors occur from a lack of sleep, so make sure your daughter is getting a good nap during the day.  They are not awake during a night terror and it takes some time to wake them.  The best thing to do is just make sure they don't hurt themselves, and then comfort her when she awakens, and she should go back to sleep.  Sit with her in HER room until she has settled back down and then try to get her back to sleep. I'm a firm believer that if your child cries for you in the middle of the night, then they need you and I would bring mine to bed with me if need be.  I never had any problems with them always wanting to be in my bed, but they did learn that if they are scared, mommy will be there.  I guess I'm from the old school LOL

[Ashelen]

I agree with littlehill that's the big difference...I have a 19-month-old daughter as well and she's been having night terrors for about 11 months now and she's always crying or whimpering or screaming in her sleep and it takes us a good minute before we can wake her up and get her to respond. The doctor says it's normal for kids and she'll grow out of it, but it's horrible to watch. But i would say as far as the behavior when you put her down for bed initially...yeah that's most likely terrible 2s. My daughter has similar "rages" every now and then and I know it's the terrible 2's looming on the horizon. she's learning what control she has over you by pushing her boundaries, so it's probably a good time to re-apply ferberizing techniques. i can't tell you how many times i've sat there nonchalantly while my daughter has a screaming fit over something going wrong that pisses her off (such as today she found one of my sun-dresses and was PO'd that it wouldn't fit on her...and when I tied it up for her she didn't like that either...)...eventually she either figures it out or she calms down enough to ask me for help (in this particular case, she draped it over each shoulder and decided that was good enough), but i know that giving in before she calms down is just going to exacerbate it.

If she's waking up about the same time every night (my daughter wakes up around 1 or 2 every night too) she may simply be hungry. You can try increasing the slow-digesting foods she's eating with dinner or give her a light snack before bed (nothing sugary and nothing that would give her gas) with a small sippy cup of water, or you can try giving her a sippy cup when she wakes up in case she's hungry or thirsty. That usually puts our baby girl right back down after her 1 or 2AM wakeups.

[littlehill]

Is she awake at night when she has these fits? Or sound asleep?
Night Terrors occur while sleeping, generally you can not wake them when this occurs. Our 6 year old had them for years but has grown out of them. They are frightening.

[mdale1031]

Hello and thank you for posting. She has not had any significant changes that we can think of. A very minor circumstance last weekend. We left her with a sitter for the first time. But it was a friend of mine who she knows very well. She didn't cry when we left and according to my friend, she was an angel. That following Monday is when she started to refuse to go down. I can't imagine what it could be.

With regards to the picking up in the middle of the night, should we just let her cry it out? We "ferbered" her a 4 months and she has generally slept through the night, until the midnight nightmares started. And yes, at 2 am, I am bringing her into bed with me rather than letting her cry it out. I hope I didn't create a monster!

[margypops]

Ha she had any change recently in her life, move of house/enviroment, new Babysitter, nes sibling, anything youthink could upset her. Have you perhaps had her in your bed, room perhaps when she has been sick ? Yes she will have learned that you will go to her when she yells , its tough but the answer is not to ...