What is her life like now, is all well at school has she friends , does she have interests , sports ,it could be she doesn;t show emotion in front of others ,she may still feel the loss.,
Well, it sounds like you have done quite enough already. Dr. Laura advises not to date until your children are out of the house, since it often leads to marriages like you have described, and the kids suffer by being made number 2 to some guy for whom their mom moves all over the country and puts the kids into an unloved position. In your shoes, I wouldn't add to it now press her to cry or to "feel." I'd probably tell her that I was so sorry about how things worked out for her as a result of you marrying and then trying to save it when you could see it was not good. Then save up some money so she can talk to a counselor as she feels she needs it, and offer her your sympathetic support (but not be in her face about it) as she tries to work out what that rather emotionally tumultuous early life has done to her. She might still be in survival and not ready to open that can of worms yet. Save the money in a special account and tell her she has access to it for any kind of counseling or therapy she might want now or later, and then try to create some stability in her life, while letting her be who she is, tears or no tears.