OCD or Control Issues

[Amy2223]

I am very worried about my five year old son.  He is very controlling with everyone in the family.  He wants things done in a certain way and if it's not done his way he gets obsessive about it.  he will go on  and on well over an hour about his obssesive idea.  For example, this morning he didn't want me to leave for work until I gave him a kiss and a hug (which usually lasts for 5 minutes because we have to do it over and over again until he gets it right) but first he had to close the toothpaste door.  He closed this door for at least 5 minutes because he didn't close it exactly the way he wanted.  Needless to say I left.  He came running down the driveway in his socks to get his kiss but he still was yelling about me going back upstairs with him so he could close the toothpaste drawer. He chased me down the driveway crying. This kind of behavior happens all the time especially when we have to go somewhere. Is this all of his way of tring to control us or is it OCD?????

[noahsmomma]

My son has been diagnosed with OCD by a behavioral pediatrician and he is 4. He has some of the exact same behaviors. He will not go to sleep at night unless his toys on his shelf are in the prefect order and he has a compulsion about handwashing. (Not that it is a bad thing, but he is just over the edge with this behavior) I know that you feel lost and alone. I am there, too.

My son is currently throwing a fit because I kissed him on the BACK of his head!!!! He does not like to be kissed and will make himself throw up because he does not like it. He smells everything. I am questioning if my son doesn't cross the line into Autism. He has stopped gagging but will continue saying "Don't kiss me, Mommy or I'm going to puke and vomit." for at least an hour....maybe 2. It's enough to drive a mom crazy!

On the toileting issue, my son does not poop in the potty either. In my reading, kids with Autism and those on the spectrum can control all their bodily functions. My little man spent 1 week in the hospital last year for dehydration and constipation. He was given 4 boluses of  IV fluids before he peed and then 2 enemas before the kid pooped. The worst part about it is my son is tube fed and was receiving his tube feeds along with the IV fluids.

Another behavior that he repeatedly exhibits is growling. If he is mad at me.... he will look at me and growl like an animal. That just goes through me like a knife. He does not go to preschool so this is not learned behavior.

Good Luck... I am sorry I vented so much, but wanted to let you know that you are not alone!!!!

[jdtm]

Please reread my posting.  Toileting problems are extremely common in children suffering from anxiety.  I'll bet your son also has had sleeping issues and social issues, as well.  If your son does suffer from anxiety, he was born with it.  Certain situations can exacerbate it, but they do not cause it.  Many children suffering from anxiety have been misdiagnosed as having ADD, ADHD, suffer from tantrums and have been labeled (incorrectly, I might add) as being controlling and manipulative.  You might want to do a google search of "childhood anxiety disorders" to see if any of the behaviours remind you of your son.  I might suggest you ask for a referral from your doctor to see a mental health specialist who has experience in anxiety disorders and/or childhood disorders.  There is help out there.

[Amy2223]

He has to do things over and over again, like walking up and down the hallway until he does it perfectly. I aways pull his shirt over his head and say"Where's Jimmy?"  If I don't do it exactly the way he thinks that I'm suppose to, he'll say "Not like that, like this"  We will do this over and over.  He misses the bus all the time because he is obsessed about doing everything over and over.  When he gets out of the bath it takes us an hour to get ready for bed because first he has to make sure that his towel is spread out on the floor perfectly, then he goes and gets his underwear taking a
long time to pick out the perfect pair, comes back to the towel, then back to the PJ drawer, then back to the towel, they lays on the towel.  I put baby powder on him.  He tells me exactly how to put it on.  We end up doing this for a long time because I never do it how he wants me to.  He goes crazy if any thing is moved in his bedroom.
Another thing, he has only pooped on the toilet twice in his life!  I have taken him to the Doctor many times but nothing we do seems to work.  That's why I'm not sure if it's a contol thing-all of this.

[April2]

Actually, I think this is pretty normal behavior for his age. My 3 1/2 year old acts pretty much the same way. They like routines at this age and don't like them to be changed or disrupted. He too will get upset if we don't give him that kiss and hug at the door when we're leaving. Sometimes he forgets too that we gave him one and will demand another one.

I don't think this is controlling behavior either. I think this is just his personality. My oldest boy was a lot like this too. He was a bit of a perfectionist. He used to rip up his papers if he colored outside the lines. He also used to get upset if we changed his routine ever. He is now a pretty normal teenager. He's learned to relax a lot more as he's matured and grown.
Just be patient with him. Keep things calm and reassure him a lot. He sounds like he gets a bit anxious too. Try and keep the atmosphere in your home calm and keep a regular schedule. That would help a lot.

I could be wrong here. But he's awfully young to label him with OCD. I'd give it time. I don't see enough from what you said to think this just yet.

[jdtm]

I really doubt if your five-year old son is trying to control you.  Sounds to me as if you should see a medical person with experience in anxiety disorders (OCD is an anxiety disorder).  A developmental pediatrician, as mentioned by the above poster, would be a good place to start.  By the way, anxiety disorders are inherited traits and highly treatable.  If your son does have an anxiety disorder, keep in mind that anxiety needs to be managed; one does not outgrow it nor does it go away.  Also, the earlier the diagnosis, the better the prognosis.  

[jonesy823]

Have you ever thought about seeing a developmental pead? I have a good friend who's son is OCD she thinks it helps her son.. Good luck