The major intervention for the type of Disruptive Behavior Disorder you describe is a systematic program of behavior management. Even with the use of medication (which is generally not prescribed in cases of ODD without co-morbidity, which means the presence of other emotional disorders), a behavior management program is a must. So that is the ingredient I would suggest you add to the mix.
In a general sense, such systematic programs include a precise process for giving directions, combined with a contingency incentive system which calls for a set of household rules/guidelines governing behavior, precise rewards and punishments for compliance or non-compliance respectively. A plan for time out is, in my opinion, a sine qua non of such a program. For a useful, workable, practical and effective manual for behavior management (for average children as well as for children who display ODD or other conditions), take a look at Lynn Clark's S.O.S.: Help for Parents - it's a wondeful resource.
Just had a thought..My son is being tested for food allergies. His doctor and school counselor, as well as alot of reading I have done, have suggested food allergies being the cause of alot of this.
Have you had any food allergy testing done yet?
The doctors are right -- behavior mod is the best answer -- my daughter's behavior mirrors yours --she's 7. this poor kid has been in therapy for five years. We had a "behaviorist" which was oK --but limited-- we tried a nutritionist who took her off all white flour, sugar, citris, chocolate, nuts, etc and put her on a host of homeopathic remedies -- that didn't work either -- we finally went to a pyschiatrist and although we abhor drugs -- tried her on one briefly (2 weeks)--she became linda blair in the exorcist -- spewing out venomous words and behaving violently -- it was THE biggest mistake we could make. We then took her to Children's Hosp in Philly to be tested -- they came out with probable ODD with signs of ADD (not full blown) we then found a play therapist who is teaching us how to treat her -- OH MY GOD. what a difference./ I will tell you -- it's hard work -- very high maintenence -- you can never stop the behaviors you learn -- we do, every onece in a while because it's just so exhausting -- she starts acting great, we let our gurad down thinking we have a "normal" child -- and we backslide. (our daughter is also on essential fatty acids and hoeopathic remedies). i would love to pass on this therapist's name to you -- she's in Nj and great. contact me.
Your children sound like my youngest used to be. It was awful. The tantrums, screaming, hitting, hurting herself and us. Her sister was afraid of her because she never knew when she would blow up. At one point, I was afraid to put her in the car for fear of her hurting all of us, by causing an accident or kicking out the glass. She didn't like it and neither did we. However, after much research, we found a behavior modification program that worked and after 5 looooong years, uncountable tears, and a lot of pain and suffering. Our daughter would be seen as a regular child. She is very proud of the progress she has made and tries to help to adults at her school understand what it's like to be trapped inside your head and unable to get out of the cycle. She still works very hard at this every day, but I wanted you to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, don't give up!! We have our loving, bright daughter back and it's great.
My 5 year old is the same. We have found serious reactions to most e numbers in food and drink, especially anything red or orange, and he now cant have any sweets, chocolate, fizzy drinks, cakes, or certain "healthy" foods. He also has a serious reaction to Monosodiumglutomate (MSG). My husband and I found a terrific web site with a complete list of all e numbers, which was a bible to me while I was learning what he could and could not have. If anyone wants it, I'll dig out the URL.
He has been diagnosed with ADHD, but now could possibly be Aspergers Syndrome. Either way, he is a real nightmare, but worse on the e numbers!