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Out of control 6 year old

My daughter is 6 years old. She is an only child who at one point got her way. I have tried so many discipline actions but nothing is working. You ask her to clean her room and her response is I dont want too or it is too messy and I can't. I try to explain to her that she can do anything she sets her mind too. You ask her to stop running in the house before she falls and hurts her self, she does it any way. She has been lieing a lot. Example, you ask her why she has sissors when she know that she isn't suppose to have them and she says I didnt do that. I have a room mate whoes son is 16 and she doesn't take any actions when he has done wrong and I have often belived that they are the source of my problem but here lately I have to bed the differ. I have tried time out, taking things away, restrictions, limits, meeting half way, bribing and nothing is working. Good old fashion butt cutting still does not work. My husband was diganosed with cancer a few months ago and I know part of her problem is the attention, but I am seriously about to pull my hair out becasue I know what a wonderful little girl she is around everyone else.....
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