Pinching

[Steptoe]

Hi,

My son Sam is 5 and has special needs.  He is developmentally delayed - speech and motor skills. He attends mainstream school with a one to one learning assistant working with him all day.  He loves school and is very sociable and well liked by both the teachers and pupils.

The problem is pinching.  When Sam is asked to do something he doesn't want to do he will pinch (hard enough to cause bruises).  Sometimes I think he does it out of sheer frustration because he can't vocalise what he wants to say, and sometimes it is just temper.

At home we have put him in time out and this has worked although not completely stopped it.  But at school, time out has not worked and is really making the assistants fed up (I can't blame them).  I would like to know how to help the school with ideas to use.  We have tried giving Sam a 'pinch' bag, but I think this just gets thrown away in a temper.

Please can you help me?

[woofytoyou]

The old days answer would be to pinch him back.  I would really be tempted.
But of course adults are trained to REASON it out today.
Pinching  makes a person cry and feel bad.  He doesn't understand 'reason' in this case.
He just found a way that suits him as everyone jumps to attention and comes running.  He has no idea it hurts.
Hopefully a CHILD VICTIM  will do this back to him on his own, sorry for the crude answer.
Until then, time outs are great and effective.  The other way would be immediate.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

I think you're on the right track with your approach at home. That is, at any sign of aggression he should be placed immediately in time out. Then, when he re-joins the ongoing activity, he should not be with other children for a while (e.g., 15-20 minutes). Obviously he requires very close supervision, and to some extent vigilance will help. H eis displaying some immaturity in impulse control, but this will likely improve as strict limits are set and enforced.