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Potty training trouble at 4

Help! My son is 4 and refuses the idea of training. He will sit on the potty but will only go in  the diapers. He says he likes diapers.  He is very stubborn for lack of a better word with everything. And when it comes to potty training he has become belligerent or violent. He will hold it in, both pee and poop, all day until he puts on a diaper or goes as soon as he is asleep. I have tried eveything - even leaving him alone about the subject for months, but there is no change. I am feeling very frustrated and at a complete loss.
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My son is 3 years and 3 months old. He is fully potty trained to go pee pee but will not sit on the potty to go poo. He lets me know when he is going to go poo. He will go and hide somewhere or tells me not to look at him because he is going to goo poo. He does not wear diapers anymore, not even in the night time. He is going poo in his underpants. He asks to be changed and cleaned as soon as he is done going poo. I am very frustrated and don't know how to get him to go on the potty. He will sit on the potty for a few seconds and then says that he can't do it, he gets up and in a few minutes he goes in his underpants. I've read about taking away the diapers but he doesn't use diapers, so do I take away his underpants? Please help.
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Avatar universal
My 3 year old son was resistant to training and I wanted him to be able to go to per-school this fall, so I made him go cold turkey.  The last straw for me was when he pooped in his pull up at a restaurant and the poop came out of the diaper and ended up on the carpet of the restaurant!  I was moritfied.  THe next day,he pooped in his pull up again at home and my husband was changing him.  I went in and told him not to dare put another diaper on our son.  I took them all away and put underpants on our son.  He cried and begged for the diapers, but we stood strong.  Believe it or not, he never had an accident once in the underpants which proved to us that he had been ready to wear them for some time.  I agree with KClark, things may not be easy at first, but he will start to use the toilet if he really has no other options.  Good luck!
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Avatar universal
Gich - I like many other moms I have talked to, decided that when it was time to potty train, there was no diapers whatsoever. I got rid of ALL of them! Even at night. I'm not gonna lie, those first 3 weeks were horrendous! But after that, things were fine and we haven't had issues since. My only suggestion would be to take the diapers away at night. Perhaps a little ceremony for him showing him that he is a big boy and make it very special and show him that all the diapers are going to be thrown (or given) away. If there are none in the house he has no choice but to pee in his clothes or in the bed...and that wont last too long. It will be awful for you...but no more so than what you are going through already.
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