Problems with 5 yr old step-son

[flamey]

My Step-son is showing possible signs of ADHD. It seems like his behavior has gotten worse the past few weeks. We share joint custody with their Mom, and have them for a week, every other week (Sunday to Sunday). The living arrangement was decided by the boys to allow as much time with each parent as possible. Our 5 yr old is becoming increasingly aggessive. He has bitten his brother 3 times the last couple days (each time he was with his mom). When my husband disciplines him, he gets mad and pushes him or head butts him. He gets upset if we play games and he doesnt win. Last week he threw a baseball at a little girl and hit her in the eye. Sometimes he talks with different voices, some almost like a growl. He seems to talk non-stop lately, and when we have been talking with him, he can not repeat what you said to him, he says he forgot. It is hard for him to keep eye contact, and often smiles when being disiplined. His mom wants to have him tested for ADHD, but I think it is more a lack of discipline and respect. What should we do?? Any information would be appreciated. Thank you!

[flamey]

I have talked to my husband a few times about geting some kind of counselling for the kids. We married last summer and have had some issues with all of the children (my daughter is 9, then my other step-son is 8), but we have had the most problems with the youngest (our 5 year old).  At this point, I have no idea what we are going to do... I read some information on ADHD and ADD, but it just doesnt seem to fit him.  Thanks for your help.

[Ty's mom]

MY son is 8 and, among other things, displays the same behaviors.  He has ADD.  Movies and books keep him occupied, too.  But, at school he can't focus.  We give him adderall.  It helps him sit down and focus, but does nothing for mood swings.  Have you tried family counseling?  With mom too?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

See prior response.

[flamey]

Also, I forgot to mention that he can hold his attention when I am reading to him, or if he is watching a movie or cartoon that he is interested in, and generally when he is doing something he wants to do.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

The behaviors you describe are not typical of children with ADHD, though they obviously should be of concern. When such young children behave in such a fashion, it almost always is related to stresses within the family. It wold make sense to consult with a pediatric mental health clinician who can evaluate your stepson's mental status and collaborate with you about how to proceed. One thing to consider is the custody arrangement. Week-to-week changes in residence are usually frowned upon for young children - such arrangements are an invitation to instability, even in the best households. And where strains are present the probability or serious problems increases significantly. So, I'd re-evaluate the arrangement. It's one of the things you can discuss with the clinician.