afraid of the dark/sleeping alone and something happening to his parents

[smileyha]

I have a 10 yr old boy and for many yrs has been afraid of the dark and afraid to be alone most of the time he would not go upstairs to his room to play at anytime of day..Now he goes during the day, but not at night. He also crys at bedtime and wants me to sleep with him until he falls a sleep..i try to explain to him that i'm in the next room with the door open and nothing can hurt him...We got him a dog that is his best friend to help convince him that he is well protected...but that still does not work even though our 80 lbs dog, who is very protected of our home sleeps with him everynight. He also won't sleep go to any sleepovers. Also my other problem is that for some reason he is afraid of something horrible happening to me...If i go out for dinner with friends for a couple of hrs he constantly asks why he can go and for me to stay home.  Or for my honeymoon recently to cuba, he had bad anxiety about me leaving for a wk or on when i leave to go to the store or anywhere and if he is just going to the back yard to play with his dog he constantly says he loves me about 5 times in minutes Is all this normal???  My friend suggested that i get professional help for him and said this infront of him and sometimes when i put him to bed he crys and says i should get him some help cause he can't help himself. I have never said any thing to him about the i love you's,  Please help me . Thanks

[mccabe]

Hi i am so glad i am not alone .My son is 10 next week and has the same sleep anxiety. He has tried to go to sleep overs but we have to collect him feeling ill. He is fine during the day , will go anywhere with friends and never bothers if i am out .The evening is different he is ok if my mum comes round but still will not go to bed until i am back. He is even like it if i go out and my husband is in. He really wants to go on a school trip for two nights at the end of the month, so we have paid, if he goes it will be a big break through. The problem is with me i blame myself for letting him sleep in our bed from a baby . My 5 yr old is fine and she slept in our bed for the first year. Ihave not tried getting help because i dont want to make a big thing of it, he is so independent during the day. Let me no how you get on. x

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You absolutely have to arrange help for your son. The behavior is not at all normal. Your son displays a severe separation anxiety (a type of anxiety disorder) and it requires treatment. Listen to him - he is asking for help.