I would think that any sexual thoughts from a child who has not been molested are normal, perhaps you had seen some magazine laying around or any DVD that you have forgotten as it would seem however normal something could trigger off the thoughts. I feel most child behavior experts would tell you its okay to have had them at that age, however why are you concerning about them now, how old are you, are you concerned you may be gay? come back to us and give us more to go on, its okay to talk about it in fact talking helps a lot .
Hello I am back here now... Sorry have been away from computer for a while... Anyway, I am back to reply to the comments left on the page... Anyway...
I dont recall any magazines lying around, as my parents they are both strict, also there is no DVD players in the house. So since then my parents are very strict, and they dont have any pornographic materials in the household.
I dont know why I am being concerned about it just now.. Just wondered why do I have those thoughts, and what made me fantasizes the oversized men having sex with me...
However I am 29 years old now... and I am gay.
I agree with you talking about it a bit more would helps a lot...
Theres your answer you are gay so that why you fantasize ,perfectly normal , in your case as you hadnt been abused as a child perhaps you had gay feelings at that age. Put it behind you now it is and was okay to fantasize I suspect theres a lot of folks do, why does it worry you?
It’s amazing how God works though the worst of situations. From a very early age I felt like I was different than other boys and had something to hide. I had always been attracted to boys/men. At age 4 and 5, I knew that was not normal. I can remember sitting in the classroom in kindergarten wishing that my teacher could be a man that would do sexual things with me. I do not know where these feelings came from. I do not remember being molested or anything at that age. When I got to be 10 or 11, I met a guy that was in the 10th grade. I thought he was cool and he made me feel special because he wanted to spend time with me. I can remember going over to his house once, he had some of his friends over. They were talking about masturbation and that caught my attention. Even though I knew what it was, I acted like I had no idea what they were talking about. After his friends left, I asked him more questions about it until he offered to show me. I knew that what I was doing was wrong and that I need to hide it from my family, but I couldn’t get enough of it. For about a year, we met up and messed around or watched porn together. The more I did stuff with him, the more I wanted to do stuff with other boys. I was always looking for new friends that liked to do those things too. That was the main event that I felt led me to homosexuality, which grew into something that I let control my life for over 10 years.
I thought it was just something that I would someday grow out of. I kept wishing and waiting for it to go away but it was not happening. I remember wishing over so many birthday cakes that someday, I would not have those homosexual desires and that when I grew up I could get married to a woman that I loved, have children, and be a father. I was brought up in a Christian home, and went to a Christian School through the 7th grade. I knew that God was good, He sent his son to die for us, and that he loved me. I did not understand why He loved me, the extent of what he did for me, or what He had to offer me.
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I was saved at Siloam Springs Summer Camp in 2002 at age 13. I got excited about God but it quickly faded as I got back in the routine of my selfish life. Although I was saved, I didn’t started living for God. I didn’t actually understand what it meant to live for God. In 2004, I was in the 9th grade. I started smoking pot, drinking, and taking different narcotics. The drugs, and knowing that I was gay, washed me into a sea of depression. My doctor diagnosed as Bipolar with Major Depression Disorder and started taking medications to treat it. The problem with these medications, is that they all cause side effects. It was frustrating and discouraging when I had to start taking new medications to stop side effects of the other ones that I was taking. I felt worthless to God and my family. My family was not able to trust me because of the lies and lack of respect that they were getting from me. I stayed semi involved in church with my youth group but I never took it very seriously. After Super Summer church camp in 2005, I was talking to a camp counselor named Trista Davis. I told her about my struggle with homosexuality. She recommended that I talk to a friend of hers. She introduced me to a guy named Paul Bradley. I talked to him online for a while but I guess I was not very serious about getting out of the gay lifestyle at that time. I was not willing to completely give my life to God. I wanted him to take the struggles and desires away, but I was not ready to change the way I was living or what I was filling my mind with like porn. At that time, God started an important relationship that would later help bring me back to Him. It was not long until I was back in a rut, deeper than the time before. I graduated high school and went off to college at Henderson State University in Arkadelphia. The whole time I was there, I kept getting deeper and deeper in the pit of sin, shame, and depression. I was completely consumed and trapped in the gay lifestyle. I started going to Gay clubs in Little Rock and Memphis. I enjoyed it so much that I transferred from Henderson to UALR so I could be closer to the party and because there were more guys.
Around November or December of 2008, my parents started telling me about Fellowship Bible Church in Little Rock. A friend of my Dads went there and said it was a good church and that it was geared toward people my age. My parents came up one Sunday and we went to Fellowship. I liked it. It was kind of like the worship at summer camp. I started going on Sundays with my parents. Before too long, I was going by myself and loving it. Out of the blue, Paul contacted me on facebook. We started talking again. God was picking up where I left off 3 years prior. I was pretty bad into pornography and had been since around the age of 12. Paul suggested a free program called X3watch. It’s an accountability program that sends an email every 2 weeks to an accountability partner with a list of any questionable websites visited. That was the end of porn for me. It was kind of annoying for the first week or so, but I had enough trash in my mind that I didn’t need it. I finally realized that the point of the software was to keep me from putting that kind of stuff into my mind, and to stop dwelling on it and feeding the fire. So that was it, God gave me the desire to filter what I put into my mind and got me out of porn. Around that time, I found out that I had gotten HPV. I got very depressed and disgusted with myself. I guess I hit rock bottom because I realized how bad my life was with just me and my sin in control. So I hit my knees and told God that I was done trying to live without him and asked him to tear me down and take away the things that he did not want in my life, and to rebuild me into what he wanted me to be. I prayed that God would send me Christian friends and someone that could help me with my struggle with homosexuality. I started talking to Chad Denmon, my old youth pastor from Stuttgart. I wanted to tell him about where I was with my walk, and what I was going through. He told me about a college ministry at New Life Church and got me excited enough to check it out. I waited all week for Sunday to roll around so I could go meet and get involved with other believers around my age. It was the middle of February by this time. Finally, it was Sunday night and I was going to go to this thing at new life. I got there a little early and found that no one was there. I later found out that there is another New Life in Conway and that is where they meet. I remembered that Paul said he went to a church near there called The Summit, so I googled it on my phone and saw that it was just down the road about half a mile. So off I went to The Summit. I had made up my mind that I was going to church that night and did not really care where. When I got to The Summit, I saw that there were cars in the parking lot so I assumed they were having some kind of service. I went inside and went up to the first person I saw and said “where do I go?” she told me to follow some guys that were walking down the hall. So I did and we went into the theater. I asked someone what was going on and he told me that it was called “The Hour” the college and singles group. I was thinking wow this is cool and just what I was looking for so I grabbed a seat in the front of the room. It was the first night for the new singles pastor, Scott Taylor and his message was about how God will put us right where he wants us if we let him. By the end of the service I was so excited because for the first time, I knew that I was right where God wanted me to be. After the service, people were meeting in the coffee shop to hang out and talk. I still didn’t actually know anybody but it was ok because I knew I was supposed to be there. ,A guy in the coffee shop, saw that I was new and he introduced himself to me. I got to talking to him and I told him how I kind of just wandered in looking for somewhere to go to church. He invited me to come to a small group that he led on Tuesday nights. When Tuesday came around, I met up with my new friend and we headed to small group. On the way, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. (an I don’t really know you, small-talk kind of question.) He said no and that he had not been on a date since he was 15. I said me too. That made me wonder if he dealt with some of the same struggles as I did and therefore wasn’t interested is girls, after all, he was 30 and single. We started hanging out, getting to know each other and having fun. One night, we were out taking some pictures of little rock and talking about life. I wanted to share with him that I had just come out of the gay lifestyle because I needed to tell somebody. I asked him if he had ever had to change his lifestyle for God and he said yes. I told him that a few weeks earlier, I had decided that I wanted to come out of the homosexual lifestyle. He looked at me and said that he had done the same thing a few years ago. Right then, I felt like a bond was created between us. It was such a relief that I was not alone and that I could openly talk with someone about what I was going through! God had totally set up this friendship. What is the chance of that just happening? We continued to hang out and get to know each other and the friendship got tighter. He told me about a friend of his named Loy, a man who is involved in a ministry for men that struggle with SSA (Same Sex Attractions). He invited me to go to an SSA conference in Kansas with them. By then, I had talked to my parents about the struggle that I had always had with SSA. I feel like God Prepared my parent’s hearts to hear what I had been dealing with. Bob and I met up with Loy, and went to the conference together and I got to meet even more men that dealt with the same struggles as me. It was exciting to see God using people like me with such ugly pasts.
I would not have been possible for me to come out of this by myself. I am not only talking about homosexuality, but depression, substance abuse, any habit, addiction, or lifestyle. Here are some things that I believe had to take place in order for me to get free from that lifestyle.
• First, I got desperate and got a desire to change and life for God.
• I had to realize that I could not change by myself. Looking over my life there is no way that all this could have happened by chance.
• I asked God to take me as I was, broken and full of sin, to give me pure desires and the ability to let fully give myself to him so that he could change me.
• I asked him for support through other people that have had to deal with the same issues and me.
• I asked him to give me the ability to filter what I let myself listen to, the movies I watch, the situations that I put myself in, and the people I spend time with.
• I have to give every day to God. I know from experience that when I try to live my way, things don’t work out. When I ask God to guide and direct me, I feel good about what I do and get to experience true joy in my life.
The more I trust in God and get into the word, the easier it is to keep living for him. I realized that God has already won the battle of not only homosexuality, but everything that the world throws at us. I never could have come out of that lifestyle or the depression by myself. Once I realized that I just had to submit to God, things started to not be so hard. He has put people in my life that help keep me accountable, give me advice, and show me God’s love through the way they live. It makes me think of how much love he must have for us! I used to constantly struggle with lust, but now I don’t have to try that hard to keep from doing it because God takes care of it for me. All I have to do is stay close to him and not worry about things because he promises to take care of us forever and always. Our job as Christians is to love God and share his love with other people. That is all we have to do and everything will fall into place. Life can be so simple. Just love God and his people, trust in him and obey him. That is what life is all about.
I feel like God is starting to create a desire in me for a relationship with a woman. It will probably take a while, but I think it will happen. It is so exciting to not only look back and see the things God has been working on in my life, but to think of the life to come! I want people to see what God has done in my life and to know that they too can experience the joy, love, peace, and security that I have found in Jesus Christ, my Savior and my God.
i want to get my story out there so people can see that there is a way out of homosexuality!
Thank you for your posts and your insight it will be of interest to many people ,input is always of interest. I am glad things are working out for you Good Luck
PRAISE GOD Brother!!!
Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.
My prayers are with you.
Hi I have a 8 year old daughter and she seems much to intrested in sex and that other stuff like that than I think she should be. There has been times were I caught her trying to watch my boyfriend undress and I'm worryd. She is an only child and as far as I know she dosent look at porn. Is this normal for an 8 year old?
Your daughter needs to be kept from being alone with your bf. That is it in a nutshell. If she saw him once getting dressd,no big deal,but make sure it doesn't happen again by him undressing behind locked doors or a locked bathroom. Everything should be fine,but amplifying the situation is wrong. Go forward....