She's driving me nuts

[ifsogirl]

I have been on this forum about this before and yet the issue never has been resolved.  I have a daughter who is 4.5 years old and she constantly moves.  I don't think people understand what I mean when I say constantly.  She gets up in the morning and it takes her about 30 min to wake-up. From that point on she is moving. I drop her off @ school and for the most part everything is fine there.  She has been in trouble for being too active at times at school but not too often.

I pick her up for lunch and while I'm making lunch she is usually jumping on the bed or my couch.  I have put her in time-outs every day for this since she was 2 years old.  While eating she is up and down on her chair, wiggling, hanging off the edge of the table.  She has fallen off her chair numerous times.  I have sent her away from the table without eating many times, even made her eat alone in her room.

After lunch it is her sister's nap time.  She get's to watch a little tv in my room, for 20 minutes or so while I get her sister settled.  She spends the time jumping on my bed and I mean the whole time.  Once I let her stay in there to watch tv because I was not feeling well and needed the quiet.  Her sister napped for 2 hrs and the whole time she was jumping on the bed.  

Usually while her sister naps I try to play some board games with the older one.  We live in a small condo so we need to be quiet so we don't wake up the little one.  Just playing a game is frustrating.  She is jumping up, or rolling around on the floor.  I have told her I will stop playing with her if she won't stay somewhat still and yes I have followed through each time.  

My day basically consists of yelling at her to stop jumping on furniture and thumping through the apartment.  I take her to parks and out for walks and she is just as active regardless.  I have put her in time-outs to the point where she spent hours in time out because as soon as she was done one she was jumping on my couch again and was sent back.

I have been consistent with punishments, schedule, time-out's, etc...   We have a very structured day to try and keep her busy, but I do need a little down time as well.  I also am a big believer in free time for kids.  They need to learn to play by themselves.

I need to know if anyone else is going through the same thing.  My younger child is no-where near as active and no one I know has kids like this.

[specialmom]

Hi,  my son has sensory integration disorder and this could describe him very well.  It is what they call sensory seeking.  My son's nervous system is looking for heavy input.  So I do understand completely where you are coming from and what you are talking about.  I also have a child 15 months younger than my sensory kid.  Sensory is a developmental delay but don't think that has anything to do with intelligence or ability.  My child is very smart and always does better than  his peers academically.  

Here is what we did that has changed my child's life.  We do provide as many physical outlets as possible for him.  Soccer and swimming are awesome activities.  Swim lessons in the winter are great if you live in a cold area where your child is stuck inside.  It is like the perfect activity for a sensory seeking kid.  We do go to parks almost every day even when it is chilly (and I took my younger son with us who just ran around too-----  it is good for everybody!!) and we run, jump, climb, roll down hills (they do that, I cheer them on . . .)  At home, I will ask my son to push a laundry basket that is filled across the floor, carry a bag that has some books in it across the room, move a chair for me.  I bought one of those little exercise trampolines and leave it where he can jump away when desired.  You could use a mattress on the floor for this.  I pile all the couch and pillows we have on the floor and tell him to climb through it or crash into it.  We play tug of war.  We do a game of animal walks especially crab (awesome to calm), bear, snake (slither across the floor---- again, I only watch that one), leap frog, kangeroo hop, etc.  He chews chewy things, he drinks thick liquids through straws (like smoothie, applesauce), he blows bubbles (very calming).  I give him a fat piece of gum before we go somewhere he will need to stay calm at.  We do occupational therapy once a week-----  but these are the activities at home that help.  The more of this kind of thing you do, the calmer your child will be.  My son is now 5 and can attend to things in a totally calm manner (remember school with expectations of sitting is coming soon) now.  I give him lots of activity to keep him calm when he needs to be.  Yes it is work, but your child whether she has this delay or not NEEDS the activity.  You can't just say no to it as she can,t help it or control it.  Google sensory integration processing disorder and see what you think. good luck.  (oh, and drugs do NOT work for it).  

[chinamom2]

Your description of your daughter could have been one I wrote for mine.  It describes the situation almost to the tee.  Reading the comments you have gotten to far, I get the feeling that the posters do not really understand (no offense).  I DO!  My husband and I are searching for solutions.  Sometimes at the end of the day, I feel terrible about my parenting skills because my daughter has had spanks and time outs on a regular basis.  She gets more and more hyper as the day goes on.  And she never stops!
She can be very sweet and a great child at times.  So I see her possiblities and feel especially frustrated that I can't keep her in that mode.  We think she has signs of ADHD but are trying behavior modification.  I do not want to do the medication thing. I try to keep her busy (pre school, gymnastics, ballet, time with friends) but I cannot spend my whole day structuring her activities.  I also have a 22-month old.  She is very jealous of her little sister, which just exacerbates the problem.  I wish I had some great advice for you...I'm searching.  Just know you are not the only one dealing with this situation.

[Melissa0116]

I was just like her when I was little.  Does she have trouble with sleeping?  My problem was that I was extremely jealous of my younger brother.  I am 18 months older than my brother.  I used to jump around and cause all types of problems.  My mom said that before my brother was born I was an angel.  She ended up putting me in physical therapy to basically get out all of that extra energy.  It really worked.  My mom said after doing this she noticed that I was alot calmer than before.  I used to actually hit my head against the door to go to sleep.  So my mom said that after the therapy I stopped.  I got in trouble sometimes in nursery school for talkings too much and could not sit still.  I got yelled at by my mom all the time.  

Hope this helps

[RockRose]

She is a very active,  figety child.  Instead of fighting it always,  get her a trampoline.  

You probably won't be able to discipline her out of this need for this constant physical activity.     As frustrating as this must be for you,  it's probably just the same for her - she wants to move around a lot,  and is constantly being told to stop it.  

Trampolines are great.  ;D

[Angelinthemorning]

I don't have any experience with this but, I've read other comments where they talked about the child's diet affecting this.  Like stuff with red dyes and what not.  Have you spoken with her doctor about this??  I'm guessing you have.  Keep insisting to your doctor that you feel this is not normal behavior.  Afterall, the doc only sees them for a short amount of time and really doesn't have a grasp on what she's like all day.