Dear Sharon,
Your doctor is certainly being sensible in wanting to see that an examination of the external genitalia occurs. This is responsible practice. It would be unwise to ignore this component of the physical examination.
Many children of your daughter's age prefer to have a doctor of the same gender because they are uncomfortable about being in a state of undress with a doctor not of the same gender, and because they can easily be embarrased around examination of the genitals. This is a perfectly sensible reason to switch to a new doctor.